


For This Life

by Truffle_Giraffe



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-02-28 18:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 88,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2743544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Truffle_Giraffe/pseuds/Truffle_Giraffe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For this life, they were not brothers. They did not know the other’s existence until their path crossed. Somehow, it did but not when they finally met each other. Their path had long collided before they realized it and they will have to live with the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello. I'm finally back and trust me when I say I've been counting for this day to come. And thankfully it did. I won't ramble much. I just want you to enjoy and leave a review of what you think. The first chapter will be up depending on whether I should proceed or not. And that depends on reviews. :)
> 
> So enjoy and have a blast of today!

Prologue : I'm sorry

 

The graveyard was almost empty except for a boy standing still in front of a newly added tombstone. He hadn't moved since the others left. He didn't care the rain that soaked his jet-black hair. It was plastered to his forehead, his pale-tinted skin stood shockingly with the contrast. He was looking down on his brother's grave. The funeral went well. Those that came gave their condolences to the family. There's nothing more that could be said.

"I'm sorry." Except for those two words. He knew it was him at fault. He felt helpless because there's no way to turn back the clock. "I'm sorry, Max." The words kept repeating themselves as it escaped his lips. His blue eyes gaze never left the words carved under his brother's name, 'BELOVED SON AND BROTHER'. It was unfair to him. Max had left them too early. He was only nine.

"I'm sorry." The rain started to fall heavier, blending with the stream of tears on his face but he didn't move. He couldn't leave his brother, not after he left him. The rains poured and fell on him, as if punishing him for his sins. What's worse is that he couldn't feel anything. He wanted to feel something. He wanted to feel the grief, the pain, the hurt that his family members did. He felt none of those. Instead, there was this hollowness in his chest.

"I'm sorry." The dark-haired turned slowly, walking away from where his little brother was resting. He didn't want to leave but the sun was almost setting down and he knew his family would be worried. So with small steps and a reluctant heart, he left the cemetery but not before he whispered his promise, "I will always remind myself, Max. I'll always be sorry."

As he walked pass the cemetery gate, he never turned or looked back. The air of the New York City was heavy that day, for it also felt the warmness and sunlight slowly façade as the sun goes down and the night sky rises. A life had been taken, but somewhere across the city, another life was saved.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here is the first chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Happy reading! :)

Chapter 1

Part I: Heading To A New Start

Magnus POV

The small ray of lights that managed to slip through the curtains somehow lit up half of the room. The warmth that comes with it along with the sound of cars and the citizens of New York City getting off to work was what that had waken me from my deep slumber. Alec was right. I shouldn't have stayed up late last night, especially not on the first day of school. This was our final and senior year in Institute High, an elite school located in the middle of the city and I wouldn't want to start with a bad record.

I can hear the sound of shower across the hall. Alec was getting ready and that's a sign for me to get up and about as well. Standing up, I stretch myself and walk to my bathroom in the room. I get to have the master bedroom since this was my apartment. Technically, it's my father's but he's in London for the past four years, living there while trying to handle his business. My aunt moved in to look after me. Last year when I was seventeen, Alec came and stayed with me and she moved out saying that we were big enough to take care of ourselves. She still comes sometimes, checking on both of us at least twice a week, bringing some of her amazing home-made brownies.

After taking a shower, I took out the school uniform that was hanging in my closet and put it on. I've always loved the school uniform because it made me look good. It also brings out Alec cerulean eye colour. The uniform was all black, with white lining around its sleeves and collar down to the button part of the blazer. We wear a white shirt on the inside and had a blue tie to complete it. In one word, it looked like a suit except for the part where the school logo was embedded on the blazer, right on our left chest.

Satisfied with my look on the first day, I walked out of my room bringing my schoolbag with me when I saw Alec in the kitchen. He was already in his uniform, striking as ever with his black hair nearly brushing the collar. I put down my things in the living room which was across the kitchen and sat on a stool, facing Alec. He had just finished making a sandwich when he handed it to me.

"Thanks. You had yours already?" I asked. He simply nodded.

"Are you picking up Camille?" Alec asked me. Camille and I have been seeing each other since 11th Grade. I took out my phone and texted her.

_Morning, Cam. Need a ride?_

Her reply came shortly after.

_Good morning. Nope. Lily's picking me up. See you at school._

_Okay. See you._ _  
_

"She's going with Lily." I saw how Alec's expression hardened for a small second before he regained himself and took a sip of his black coffee. I know I shouldn't have mentioned Lily's name; she was Alec's ex-girlfriend. They had a bad break up since it happened because of the 'accident'. I should stop. It's not my place to talk about it even if I was his best friend. Nobody talked about it.

"Are you ready to go?" Alec looked at me. I could still see the scar through his blue eyes. He may act like nothing ever happened that had changed him but all that I could see was a broken boy. He could never lie, not to me. The 'accident' really took away all of him. I was grateful he'd come to me when he had nothing. It was hard for him and he couldn't stand the pressure, not when everyone in the family was grieving. He had to leave his only sister alone with his parents. Fortunately, Isabelle was also going to the same school and she has Clary by her side.

"Yeah. We should be off right now." We walked out of the apartment. I locked the door while Alec pressed the elevator and we waited for it to come up. My apartment was on the top floor and the only one on that floor. It was convenient for me because I loved to have party on weekends. It was one of my charms, Alec once said. Other than that it was because I was dating Camille, the head cheerleader and hottest girl in Institute High.

Once we've reached the basement, I took out my car key and opened the door. It was a black Cadillac my father gave me for my sixteenth birthday. I was in the driver's seat and Alec entered next to me. I drove out from the parking space and head straight to school. It was seven blocks away from my place. By the time we reached the school compound, we still had at least 10 minutes to spare. I parked at the students' section where it was nearer to the classes. The teachers' section was in front of the administration hall along with the parking space for visitors. We both got out from the car and head to our lockers. Mine was a few spaces away from Alec's. I opened it and kept my bag on the bottom shelf.

"What do you have this morning?" I turned to Alec. He was getting his books out from his bag. His hair was covering his eyes and I fight the urge to push them aside.

"History. You?" He looked at me. He gave me a smile that I doubt what an actual smile looks like. It had been that way since, you know.

"French. I guess I'll see you at lunch?" I made it sound more like a question because you'll never know what to expect from Alec. He gave me a nod. As far as I know, it was a certain answer. I looked over Alec's shoulder and I could see Camille walking towards us. Not far behind her, I saw a red-head and a dark-haired that almost looked like a replica of Alec if it wasn't for her long hair.

"Hey, Camille." I gave her a chaste kiss on her lips and she returned it with a peck on my cheek. Her skirt was getting shorter and shorter each year. Most of the guys couldn't stand the temptation to turn their heads around for a second look and other girls could only stare in envy. I didn't bother to glare. Camille seemed to have wanted it.

"Hey. I really need to go because Madam Dorothea will kill me if I'm late on the first day." Madam Dorothea was her Calculus teacher. She was known for her likes in giving detentions.

"Okay. We'll catch up at lunch." She smiled when I let her go with her friends. When I turned to look at Alec, he was talking with Isabelle with that fake smile carved expertly on his face. I bet Isabelle noticed it too. She was his sister after all. I heard the bell rung and waved the siblings goodbye as I strode off to my class. I took a seat at the corner since I had a tall frame so I wouldn't be blocking the whiteboard.

The teacher, Mister Paul DeForce walked in followed by a boy. He had a blonde hair and a pair of gold eyes that match. From the look that my other classmates gave, I could tell that he was a new student. The uniform fits him well too or maybe it was just me obsessed with it. Mister DeForce asked him to introduce himself and so he did.

"Hello. I'm Jace Herondale and I'm new here.' He smiled.

Part II: The First Impressions

Jace POV

"Please take a sit, Mr. Herondale." I walked forward and sat next to a tall, Asian-looking guy. He looked at me and held out a hand.

"Magnus, Magnus Bane. So, you're new here?" He had a slight accent that I couldn't really comprehend. I extended my hand and shook his.

"Jace Herondale. Yeah." I answered shortly. The teacher started to teach so I opened my book and ended the conversation. The lesson was quite relaxing. The teacher was going at a pace, not too slow and not too fast. It was easy for me to understand and it seemed like the whole class was paying full attention. Not even once did Mister DeForce stop until the bell rang.

I got up and cleared my stuffs off the table. I was walking in the corridor, heading to my next class when I heard someone called my name. When I turned, I saw a brown-haired with glasses smiling widely at me.

"Hey Simon! I'm so glad to see you." We hugged for a while and when we pulled apart, Simon was still smiling so I returned it. I was truly happy to see my best friend. He was the reason I enrolled into Institute High. Well, it was his parent's doing that got me in here but it was thanks to Simon's persuasion. Unfortunately, Simon was a year younger so I could barely spend time with him in school but it didn't matter. We were neighbours so practically we see each other most of the time.

"So how was your first class? Like the changes?" Simon asked.

"Yeah, everything's nice so far." I replied but Simon wasn't even listening. I saw his gaze divert behind me so I turned my head and followed his eyes.

"What are you looking at?" It wasn't a what, it was who. I was trying to look past the students when I caught sight of a girl. She was small, petite actually compared to the tall-framed girl next to her who had a long black hair and dark brown eyes. She was attractive and stunning but my eyes were glued to the petite red-head with emerald pairs of orbs. Surprisingly, they were approaching us, both pair of eyes set on the guy next to me.

"Hello, Simon. Who's this?" The tall girl was looking at me so I smiled. She returned it genuinely and I noticed the red-head was also smiling at me. My heart skipped a beat at the small gesture. What was wrong with me? She's just a girl.

"Izzy and Clary, meet Jace. He's new here and he's in senior year. Jace, this is Isabelle." Simon gestured to the dark-haired.

"Call me Izzy." She said.

"And this is Clary." So that's her name, Clary. It fits her perfectly.

"Hi. I'm Jace." I said as in to clarify my name.

"Do you guys know one another or did you bumped into each other because I swear I saw you two were hugging." Izzy asked. Simon seemed to be dazzled for a moment upon hearing Izzy's question so I answered instead.

"We're neighbours. I live next to his house for years since he moved into town." I didn't dare to say the exact year because I hadn't really lived in my house for two years and I just got out from a place that's no to be mentioned to my new friends.

"Where were you from? Your old school?" This girl Izzy seemed to be full of questions. I couldn't really answer that. I hadn't been to school for a while, not until today. Thank god the bell rung. Simon and I let out a sigh that got Izzy confused. She had a quizzical look on her face when Clary, for the first time talked.

"We better go. It's nice seeing you, Jace. Si, why don't you bring him and sit with us at lunch? We'll see you there." She practically dragged Izzy out of the lockers' hall despite her small figure.

"I'll see you later, Jace. You might want to start running or you'll be late." Hearing Simon's warning, I lightly jogged to my next class. My head was still thinking about Clary when I reached the door.

"Ah, Mr. Herondale. It's nice of you to join us on your first day. Have a seat. Next time, you might want to be a little more punctual." The teacher, a lady around the age of 25, points toward the class. It was a signal for me to take my seat so I rushed in and slid in an empty chair next to a guy.

"Greetings, senior year. My name is Miss Lind and I'm your Algebra teacher this year. Let's get started right away, shall we?" The lesson was almost the same as my previous one. Miss Lind would go on and on without stopping but she had a tempo that was easy to conduct with. She gave us some problems to solve, and I being 'absent' from school for sometimes didn't know a thing about Algebra.

"Mr. Herondale, why aren't you doing your work? Or is it just too easy for you?" Come Miss Lind's voice from my side. She was peering at my empty paper. I shook my head to her.

"The questions are a little bit different from my old school." To my surprise, nobody snickered or laughed. The rest of the class were busy solving the questions.

"Alright then, Mr. Lightwood, if you may." She motioned to the boy sitting next my table. He got up and moved to the whiteboard and wrote down his answers. When he was done, he walked back to his seat. He was pale for a boy considering his hair stood pitch black and his eyes were sparkles of blue. I can't help but stare. He looks familiar to me.

"As always, all correct. Mr. Herondale, you might want to ask for help from Mr. Lightwood. He'd be able to tutor you." Miss Lind glared at me and I nodded. I guess he might be one of the top students in this school. A moment later, the bell rung and I jumped out of my seat, forgetting about the clever boy by my side and head straight to the cafeteria, eager to meet the girl with the green eyes.

Part III: Meeting Great People

The bell rang notifying the entire school of lunch break. Students rushed towards the cafeteria to meet up with their friends while the teachers head to the pantry to have their break time. In a matter of seconds, the cafeteria was filled up by students from different grades. Some were lining up for their foods while a number of them already took their tables and sat, waiting for their friends. Each table in the big white space that could be described as a hall already holds its occupants except for the one right at the centre.

Simon walked in and spotted Clary with Izzy waiting in the line near the counter. He was about to take a seat when he heard Jace calling him. He gestured for Jace to follow him and they both settled down in the middle of the cafeteria, the only empty space left. It was after all their table. Izzy and Clary joined them, each girl with a tray in their hands and sat opposite the boys.

"You guys aren't eating?" Clary asked sweetly. Jace shook his head. He was giving Clary a look that made the girl blushed a little.

"I'm still full from my mom's breakfast." Simon answered instead. He was also staring at Izzy when both girls were busy indulging their food.

"If only my mom would cook." Izzy sighed. Clary gave her a meaningful sideway glanced and glared at Simon. The boy, not knowing what he did wrong just shrugged his shoulder defensively. Jace didn't understand what was going on so he didn't want to pry. They didn't notice that a pair of soul was approaching their table. All eyes were on them when the two walked in through the cafeteria's door.

The guy was tall, lean but he had slightly toned muscles hidden underneath his uniform. His hair was made meticulously, almost touching his chiselled jaw. He had a tanned skin colour which praises his Asian look that made girls staring at him. The girl on his side was no exception. She was a true beauty of her own. Her long blonde hair covered the collar of her uniform. Her pale yet glimmering skin compliments her hair colour. Her high cheekbones, full lips and glittering eyes in jade made the boys stared and the girls envied her features. Her body had the perfect edges to it and somehow, she made the school uniform looked intimidating. Both of them were sync in step as they came and sat beside Clary.

"Hi Magnus. Hello Camille." Clary was always known for her sweet attitude with her friends. Camille gave her a smile that showed her dimple just a little bit.

"Who's this?" The blonde girl asked. Camille was looking at Jace with a seductive look but he didn't give the girl a second glance.

"Oh, if I'm not mistaken you were in my French class. Jace, wasn't it?" Magnus responded.

"And you're Magnus." Jace confirmed.

"He's my neighbour." Simon intercepted. He was about to say something else when Magnus asked,

"Where's Alexander?" He looked around frantically, searching for his mate. No Blue Eyes that could be detected anywhere, at least not Alec's.

"I think he went to see Mr. Phillip about the upcoming fencing competition." Clary answered for everyone else. There was a flicker of something in her eyes when she spoke, Jace couldn't catch what it was.

"By the Angel, it's only the first day and he's already back into his game?" Izzy exclaimed. She was sipping her orange juice when Magnus said,

"Izzy honey, fencing is martial arts, not a game. You should know that since it's your brother's talent." Izzy pouted. Jace somehow look confused.

"I'm sorry but who's Alexander?" He sent a quizzical look at Simon but Izzy answered for him instead.

"He's my brother. He's in senior year too and he's the school prodigy in fencing. Have you met him in any of your classes?" Izzy replied with proud in her tone. Jace shook his head.

"I hadn't met anyone named Alexander, yet."

"It's Alec. He prefers that because only his…." Clary trailed off. She lowered her head but only after she looked at Izzy. The other girl somehow just smiled affectionately at her best friend. She was grateful that someone knew the other side of her and her brother and didn't back away from them. Someone named Clary and Magnus. The atmosphere became a little awkward for Jace so he tried to change the subject.

"I got reprimanded in my Algebra class because I couldn't solve the questions. The teacher told me to ask for help from this freak dude whose brain works like a computer. I guess he's a genius. He got all the questions correct." Jace said with a little hint of sarcasm in his voice. He's holding back quite a lot of himself because he's not used to the 'well-mannered' attitude which was too opposite of his usual demeanour.

"Oooo…I see someone's feeling wronged. What was this freak dude's name?" Izzy teased and managed to lighten the ambience.

"I don't really remember. The teacher said it was Light-" Jace didn't get to finished his sentence when suddenly Magnus speak aloud. His head was turned towards a direction.

"Finally, I thought I won't be seeing you until school end." Jace looked at whom Magnus was speaking to. He gaped for quite a moment at the figure walking towards them. The others noticed Jace's reaction but they didn't say anything.

"Sorry. I went to see-"he was cut off by Simon.

"Mr. Phillip, we know. Clary told us." The dark-haired boy smiled warmly at Clary and sat next to Simon, directly facing Clary. She returned his smile widely. That small action somehow made Jace felt uneasy.

"So Jace, who was that freak dude you were talking about?" Camille brought back the topic. Everyone turned to him and he lost his words.

"Let me guess; he's here now isn't he?" Magnus asked knowingly. He had a grin on his handsome face.

"Wait, you were talking about me?" Alec who hadn't said a word chimed in. He looked at Jace and he realized it was the new boy in his class. Jace didn't know what to say or do.

"This is Jace. He's my neighbour and he's a new student here. Jace, this is the freak dude you were saying about, Alec and his Izzy's brother." Simon introduced those two who seemed oblivious to the situation. The others were already trying to hold back their laughs at Simon's blunt words.

"Hey." Jace gave Alec a small smile. The other boy returned it with a nod. Alec looked a little put off by the new boy's appearance. Jace noted it and decided to stay out of the black-haired way. The lunch time was spent normally as it usually did. However, instead of staring crazily at Izzy, Simon was having a conversation with Jace.

The same goes to the rest of them; Magnus was whispering something to Camille, Izzy was trying to finish her lunch with Clary, and Alec with his own mind. Jace and Alec didn't exchange any words other than the greetings but Jace couldn't help but stole a glance or two at Izzy's brother. He thought it was the resemblance between the siblings that made Alec look familiar. But it wasn't. He'd seen Alec outside of the school before, long time ago but he couldn't recall where or when.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? Please let me know. My sincerest apology for any grammar mistakes or for the school system in New York. I'm Asian so my writing style may be a bit different. Even the school is an elite one. I just had to so that the rules can suit my knowledge or whatever that means. Hehe. Do review for quicker updates! :)


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey. Here is chapter 2 but before you start reading, there are a few things that I would like to make clear.
> 
> -Alec is not gay. At least not yet. XD
> 
> -The characters are in an elite school which exists under my rules and follows my orders.
> 
> -There will be all the pairings in TMI (exclude malec, for now) which are clace, sizzy and a side pairing of Camille and Magnus. Those two are extras for my friend who just adore them.
> 
> -This story is basically about friendships. I don't really like romance and I'm not really good at writing them.
> 
> -And lastly, any further regulations and laws are made based on where I come from so it might not fit with American's laws. Forgive me for that.
> 
> -Oh, and nevertheless, I hope you enjoy reading! :)

Chapter 2

Part I: The Journey Begins

_A week later…_

Jace entered the training room and stood near the door. He'd stayed after school upon his PE teacher's request to come and watch the fencing club's trained. Apparently, Mr. Colt thought that Jace's build was suitable for the sport and had instructed him to try out for the club member. So there he was, with a little scowl on his face watching as two students sparred.

"Jace. Jace! Come here." It was Simon. He was sitting on a long bench by the side of the room. Jace looked over at his PE teacher and saw him nodded, signalling him to take a seat.

"Si, what are you doing here? You never told me you were in fencing." Jace said as he sat down next to his buddy.

"No, I'm not. I actually heard from Mr. Colt that you were going to join the fencing team and asked me to stay and convince you. Not that you need it since you brought yourself here." Jace was about to say something when he saw the two students who were sparring moved away from the mat. Then, another student got up and stood facing a man who Jace guessed was the fencing coach.

Both of them had their fencing outfits on and in their hand held a weapon. They took their stances and stood static on the ground. Neither moved and from the distance it was hard to tell whether they were breathing or not. It was like time had frozen when suddenly one of the two moved and attacked the other. Jace couldn't tell whether it was the student or the teacher who had made the first moved because of the mask but he bet it was the latter. The weapon touched the opponent's upper body and the fencers resumed to their original position.

This time, they took their stances again and Jace could finally see when one of them started to charge towards the other. And again, it hit. He was fascinated, only a little with the sport but it was the fencer who'd managed to catch his interest. He'd never seen anyone moved that way before, full of grace yet with the intensity to raid.

"Nicely done, boy. I am pleased to know that the holidays hadn't rotten your talent away." The teacher took off his mask and his face was a riddle you can't solve. It was as if a mask itself and Jace felt a chill running down his spine. He was complementing but his eyes held no joy, it was solemn yet dark and cold. Jace wondered how the student didn't flinch from the look the older man gave.

"Thank you, sir." The younger one replied. Jace couldn't wait to see who it was beneath the mask for he felt a rush, excitement in his body. He felt the other boy as a challenge but also an admiration at the same time.

"Herondale, come here would you." Mr. Colt motioned him and he got up quickly from the bench and walked across the room. He stood in front his teacher and he saw the older man gesturing towards the fencer, still with his mask on to come over. The guy was taller than him.

"Jace, I'd like you to meet Alec." And at that moment, the fencer took off his mask and revealed the face that had been messing with Jace's memories. Alec brushed off his hair to the side so that he could see clearly. He wasn't surprise nor was he happy to see the blonde standing in front of him.

"He's the president for our school fencing club and the best fencer in our school. Alec, this is Jace. I'd like you to give him a little catch up on the basics and see how far he'd go. I know he's a senior but I would like to see him in action. If you don't mind, that's it." Mr. Colt patted Jace on the shoulder and he gave Alec a hopeful stare. The black-haired didn't take his eyes off from the other boy for a while until he spoke,

"I'll do what I can and see how much he'll improve. Only if he puts aside everything else and focus." Alec's tone held no warmth. Jace wonder if that's what happened when you were taught by someone like the coach. He had yet to know the man's name, not that he was interested to.

"You hear that, Herondale? I want you to show me what you've got." Mr. Colt gave Jace another pat on his back and smiled. Jace gave a little nod, trying to avoid Alec's eyes. Mr. Colt then left the two standing awkwardly at the side.

"So, when do I start?"

"Not today. I'll give you my schedule and we'll start then. You don't take any extra classes do you?" Alec asked.

"Not for now I guess." Jace shrugged.

"Okay then. We'll start next week. Monday after school, here exactly at 4. Is that okay?" Jace nodded. Alec headed back to his coach while Jace went to Simon and they both went home.

* * *

Jace was lying on his stomach on Simon's bed. He was looking at his phone when Simon got out from the bathroom.

"Si, what do you think of Izzy's brother?" Jace suddenly asked and the brown-haired was taken by surprise at the mention of his secret crush's name. He'd started to like Izzy when he was 14 but he'd never had the courage to ask the girl out.

"You mean Alec? He's nice. Why?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow at Jace.

"I don't know. I think he hates me." Jace answered. He got up from his position and face Simon who was now sitting at the end of the bed.

"What makes you think he hates you?" Simon asked again.

"I'm not sure but he's just so… distant. I mean, he's not cold but neither is he warm."

"What are you, a thermometer? Seriously Jace, you barely know the guy and you're already judging him." Simon shrugged his shoulder. He then got up and sat at his table. He opened his book and got a pen. He was going to do his homework when he glanced at Jace. His best friend had a scowl on his face.

"What? You really want to know? Okay, fine. Alec is a mystery. He's like a puzzle and if you want to get close to him, you'll have to put the pieces together. But I'd advise you to stay away from his business and just be friends. Yeah, that sounds fine." Jace's face changed to confusion.

"Why? Is he mental or something?" Simon snorted.

"Jace, just because he can do Algebra doesn't indicates that he's mental. I'm just saying that everyone has a secret and Alec… he had a history with his family. A bad one but we don't usually talk about it." He stopped for a moment. "All I know is that he's living with Magnus and Izzy is still staying with their parents."

"I got it. It's fine but I am so going to suffer because of fencing. Damn Mr. Colt. What is it about fencing anyway? There's like tons of other sports to be played and he had to choose that one." Jace missed the look on Simon's face.

"You really have no idea how important fencing is to the school, do you? Ours has a reputation and majority of it thanks to Alec. He's a prodigy." Simon reiterated Izzy's word on her brother's talent.

"Urggh. Whatever." At that, Simon dismissed his friend but not for long as Jace spoke again.

"By the angel, Si. Can you help me with something?" Jace gave Simon a puppy eye look.

"What is it?" Simon eyed Jace suspiciously.

"Would you do me the honour to teach me Algebra?" Jace blinked excessively which made Simon cringe visibly.

"Since when was I mental?" Simon shot back. He'd turned to face his book when a pillow come flying, hitting him at the back of his head.

* * *

"How was your training? Did it go well?" Magnus was looking at Alec. His legs were resting on the coffee table in front him. The TV was on but neither of the black-haired was watching it. Alec was sitting at the end of the couch, with the same position as his best friend but his head was down with his hand supporting it. He looked like he was deep in thought.

"Yeah, it did. But there was this guy…what was his name? Jace something. Mr. Colt told me to train him so that he can be on the team." Alec sounded tired. He looked worn out to Magnus.

"You mean Blondie? The new guy? What's wrong with him?" Magnus asked Alec while his hand fumbled with the remote to turn the TV off.

"Nothing's wrong with him. I just don't like him." Alec said. His head was still down and his hair was covering his eyes from Magnus.

"Alexander dear, you don't dislike a person just because you want to." He saw how Alec flinched a little when Magnus used his full name but the other guy didn't say anything about it. Alec had tried and asked Magnus to just use his nickname for the first couple of weeks when he started to live with him but the taller one wouldn't listen. After hearing it for a few more times, Alec had stopped to persuade Magnus but he still felt scarred when he was called that way.

"Aren't you going to change your clothes?" Magnus said while staring at Alec's form. He was still in his school uniform.

"Nahh…I think I'm going to take a nap." And so he did. He was fast asleep after a few seconds and Magnus let him be. He got up and took a blanket to drape it on his best friend. Alec looked very peaceful when he's asleep, Magnus thought. He's far away from all the guilt and blames.

"I just hope you'd be able to forgive yourself, Alec."

Magnus whispered.

Part II: Attaching These Strings

IZZY POV

We were sitting at the dining table for breakfast. Mother for once decided to act like a normal family and she had prepared what she thought was my favourite, pancakes. Dad on the other hand wasn't even trying, he was in his regular routine; sat at the end of the table, his face was covered by the newspaper and he had a cup of steaming tea in front of him.

We'd never been 'normal' since the 'accident' two years ago. It was hard for all of us but the one that had taken it hardest was the one who'd left home. Alec wasn't the same, that's for sure. I grieved, we all did. Alec suffered; he blamed himself for what happened. I did too at first but after seeing my brother in a state I wouldn't want to see in a human being, I forgave him.

I was finishing my orange juice when my phone beeped. I flipped it open and read a text from Clary.

"Who is it? Is it your brother?" Mother asked me. Why would she care? She didn't even stop him or persuade him to come home. I saw my father tensed for a second before he folded the newspaper and took a sip of his tea. Well done dad, you've managed yet again to pretend like your eldest and only son didn't even exist. I'd really like to leave this house like Alec had done but I couldn't. Alec made me promise and I wouldn't disappoint him.

"It's Clary. She's out front. I'll get going then. Bye." I got up from my chair, brushed my uniform and picked up my bag. Neither of them said a word. I quickly got out from what I used to call home sweet home and got into Clary's car. I sat at the back while Clary was in the seat next to the driver's that was occupied by her mother, Jocelyn.

"Good morning Izzy. Is that pancakes I smell?" Jocelyn asked and pressed the pedal. I gave a little smile so not to offend Jocelyn. She and Clary had been treating me very well like a family. They had been a second shoulder for me to cry on. First was Alec's.

"So, Izzy, do you mind sharing with me about a certain someone who's blonde and hot at school?" Jocelyn asked again. I was confused for a moment when I looked at Clary. She had a blush on her cheek, faintly but I could still see it.

"Mom!" She squeaked. Jocelyn's smile was getting wider when I finally realized who she was talking about.

"Oh, Jace Herondale? Simon's neighbour." My heart did a little somersault when I said Simon's name. Clary had her face covered with her hands which showed that my answer was correct.

"Oh my god, you like him?" My best friend couldn't even look me in the eye or even her mom's. She kept her head facing the window and she was suddenly interested with the weather.

"The sky is rather clear today, isn't it?" Clary asked eagerly. She's really bad at hiding her emotions, or maybe it was just because I'm her best friend. Jocelyn turned and drove in to the school compound. I looked for Magnus's car but it wasn't at its usual parking space. Clary and I got out and I could still see the blush on her cheeks. I was taking my first step when Jocelyn called my name from inside the car.

"Did I forget something?" I said to her. She looked at me in the eye and I saw something behind those orbs. Clary really did resemble her mother. They look almost alike except for Clary's small size.

"No, you didn't. I just want to say that you know you could always come to me or Clary for anything, right? We'll always be there for you Izzy. Stay strong, okay?" She reached out and stroked my ebony long hair caringly. I gave her a loving smile and nodded.

* * *

_Some times between the classes…_

Magnus was standing in front of his locker; his hands were busy smoothening down his uniform and fixing his hair. He'd just finished his PE lesson and to be honest, Magnus had never really enjoyed the class. He likes to work out but he's not into games like dodge ball that could easily ruin his image.

"Magnus!" He turned to the source of the voice and saw Camille walking down the hall towards him. He gave a big smile at his girlfriend and winked. Camille rolled her eyes and smirked.

"You look great, okay. PE is not the end of the world yet." She joked.

"How would you know? Have you ever played dodge ball where you're the tallest guy in the room and yet your hair is the main target? I bet doomsday is near." Magnus sighed dramatically. Camille can't help but laughed.

"Seriously, Mag. Your hair is fine and you are wonderful." Wait, what? Camille looked a little taken aback with what she'd just said while Magnus was surprised. It didn't take long though for Camille to regain her composure and act like she'd said something normal. But it wasn't. Camille rarely voiced her thoughts out loud. The only way Magnus could feel her affection for him is through the intimate gestures they share when only in the company of each other. But that wasn't normal. Camille knew something was odd the moment she said the word wonderful. She had felt an unconscious desire to look at Magnus and stay with him but she quickly pushed it away.

"Well then, we best get going to our class. See you later, Mag." Camille tiptoed and gave him a kiss. She waved and paced quickly out of Magnus's view. He was a little confused with Camille's attitude. Did Camille just confess? Magnus didn't know what to think. Their relationship wasn't based on love or admiration towards the other. It was expected of the head cheerleader to date with the hottest guy in school who held magnificent parties. In short, it's accustomed. Magnus had never questioned their status as a couple because he knew it was just a play for Camille and he didn't mind. Camille had dated many guys before and he's used to flirt with girls.

Magnus shut his locker door closed and walked to his class. He was chanting something continuously in his head until he reached his seat. The little voice kept repeating,

_Camille Belcourt never fell in love. And so should you._

* * *

Alec was sitting alone in the library. He was the sole occupant of the huge, long wooden table that could fit 15 people in a row. Books were piled in front of that smart boy who had his eyes trained on the papers. His hand was dancing with the pen, a grace that could only be seen when he's either writing or fencing. Another figure entered the colossal library; as it detained massive collections of books and documents in that one substantial room among other spaces in the school.

Simon noticed Alec's attentiveness on his writing so he decided not to bother the other guy. He walked to the counter and motioned to the librarian, Madam Theresa that he was returning some books. He kept glancing to Alec though. He was fighting the urge to go and confront the older boy or just keep his intention to himself. His determination won the fight. He didn't realize his feet were dragging him towards the person hidden behind the books until he reached the table.

Alec looked up and saw it was his sister's secret crush. Izzy never failed to mention Simon's name when they were on the phone, talking and informing each other on their conditions.

"Mind if I sit with you?" Simon spoke softly. Alec gave a slight nod and moved the books to his side so he could see the kinky boy better. He had an uncertain look on his face, Alec noted. Simon was fidgeting a little and Alec couldn't help but gave a small smile at the younger boy. He knew what was going to come out from Simon's mouth and he let the nerd in glasses to take his time.

"You're having a free period, right?" Simon asked suddenly. The boy's nerves really get to him.

"Of course I am. Have you ever see me skipped classes before?" They were both exchanging words in whispers, in hopes that Madam Theresa doesn't catch them. Alec pretended to keep his eyes busy on the books while he waited for Simon's next word. He glanced once or twice and saw that Simon was biting his bottom lip. Knowing that the conversation won't make any progress any time soon, Alec decided to pipe up.

"What do you want with Izzy?" Simon who had his head down jerked up at Alec's question and gaped. Alec still had his eyes trained on the books and his hand was scribbling down notes but he knew Simon was surprised. The other boy looked around frantically; trying to find someone who might have heard or worse, Izzy walking into the library. He relaxed slightly when he remembered that Alec's sister was in class. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"I would like to go out with your sister." Simon blurted out. He was shocked when he heard himself said it, strong and determined. Alec stopped writing and put down his pen. He locked eyes with a pair of brown ones and waited for a moment before he answered,

"Okay."

"What? Just okay? You mean you don't mind if I date your sister?" Simon asked. He was expecting some interrogations from Alec, not a nonchalant answer. The taller one shook his head.

"So I guess I'm allowed to see her then?" Boy, how clueless can Simon get. Alec was starting to pity the boy but he kept his act to see how intent on Simon was.

"That depends. I'm not the one who's giving the permission, Izzy is. If you want to date her you should ask her." Alec could see an oasis of serenity returning to Simon's figure. He was starting to clear his stuff and gather the books when Simon opened his mouth again.

"Alec, can I ask you something? Are you going to seriously train Jace for fencing?" There was a heavy silent between them. Alec had stopped what he was doing. He got up and pushed the chair in. His things were in his hands.

"That hinge on Jace whether he's going to take it seriously or not. You know fencing isn't something I take lightly." With that, Alec walked out from the library. Simon sighed heavily and departed from the books' paradise as well. It had taken at least nine months for Simon and Alec to get close and not speak awkwardly with each other, but not as close as Alec and Magnus. That was beyond his capability since he only started to know the siblings after the 'accident' and he knew what people meant when they said that a tragedy could bring a happy family into a wretched and broken pieces.

Clary had been the one who introduced Izzy to Simon when they were in the Science Lab and Simon had never took his eyes of the pitch-dark haired girl. It wasn't hard to break the walls of Isabelle Lightwood but Simon could still see the scars beyond the strong girl. He'd never tried to get details from Clary about the 'accident' but he knew that a family member was dead. A younger brother had left them and they said it was the eldest of the siblings' mistake.

Simon walked to his class and listened attentively to the teacher in front. In his mind was a question,

_How am I supposed to ask Izzy out?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. :)


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm truly sorry for the delay but I just got back from travelling and I needed to fix a few things here and there before I update the story. So here it is, chapter 3. I hope you enjoy and have a nice day! :)

Chapter 3

Part I: The Bonds Grew Stronger

Jace pushed the training room's door opened and he saw that it was empty. Alec wasn't there yet. He sat down on a bench and shrugged his blazer off.

'Elite school, always have to look classy.' Jace thought. It had been a month since Jace got into Institute High and that day was his fifth training session with Alec. So far, he'd learnt most of the basics and he'd even managed to get a perfect standing posture, which according to Alec is hard to achieve. The blue eyes had said it to him on their last meeting. Both of them had managed at least to cease the awkwardness that occurs sometimes and Jace couldn't help but longed for a smooth and simple conversation with Alec. He'd managed to get Alec to answer some of his questions which was direct and short. The answers that came were also as mentioned.

He hummed a tone so as to break the silence in the training room. The sound echoed through-out the space but was cut off when the door creaked as a sign of being pushed opened. Alec had his hand on the knob and he was partially inside the training room. He was talking to someone. Jace heard another voice and he peeked to see Clary standing in front of Alec. They were engulfed in their conversation that they didn't notice Jace's presence.

"You should have seen Simon's face when he asked Izzy. Oh god, that was the most hilarious moment in my life." Clary's laughter rang in Jace's ear. He saw that the small girl had a wide grin on her face and the taller boy in front her couldn't help but gave a small laugh.

"I bet Izzy will have a lot to tell me tonight." He chuckled. Clary looked different. She seemed to be very happy, genuinely when she looked at the guy facing her. Jace felt a spark of jealousy in him but he knew that it was impossible for him to ask Clary out. He guessed that there was something going on between those two and he didn't want to get on Alec's bad side. They could just stay as friends, hopefully.

"I guess you better get going then. Jace is already here and I don't want to keep him waiting." Alec nudged his head towards Jace's direction and the blonde waved back. Clary was caught surprised when she noticed Jace and couldn't supressed a faint of blush on her cheeks.

"Okay, see you Alec. Bye Jace. Don't hurt yourself boys." She said as she stormed out of the boys' view. Alec shut the door closed and took off his blazer and tie. He hung them limply on the bench next to Jace's. The golden boy was already standing at the centre of the room, a norm for Jace since the beginning of their training.

"What are we up for today?" Jace tried to bring up a light conversation. He kept his intonation casual when he spoke to Alec. He watched as Alec unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them as he walked over to Jace. Alec was paler than usual, Jace noticed and he looked slightly thinner. Slightly but it was enough for Jace to ask,

"Alec, are you okay?" His question had not only surprised the other boy but also himself. Alec took a moment before he answered,

"I'm fine. Let's get started, shall we?" He walked over to the equipment area and took out two identical long weapons. He threw one to Jace who caught it expertly in his hand. Indeed, he'd held the same weapon quite a number of times. They both took their stances at the opposite end of the mat and Alec gestured for Jace to counter.

Their practice ends after 2 hours of hard work, sweats and muscle aches. The boys were lying on the mat, parallel to each other. Jace was breathing hard, his shirt unbuttoned while Alec had his forearm resting on his forehead, his breathing slowly going regular.

"You know, if you really like her you should just ask her out." Alec broke the tranquillity that had settled between them.

"Who?"

"Clary." Jace propped up on one of his elbow and looked at Alec. The other boy had his eyes closed.

"Aren't you two seeing each other?" Jace asked. Alec looked at Jace as if he'd said something ridiculous.

"What? No. She's my sister's best friend and I treat her like my own sister. It would be awkward if I go out with her."

"Oh, okay. Wait, how do you know I like her?" Jace suddenly realized what he'd just said.

"You didn't even deny it when I said it and you obviously aren't declining my suggestion." Alec answered indifferently. Jace didn't say a word after that and Alec held his peace.

"Do you think she'll want to go out with me? I mean I don't even know if she likes me." Jace sounded flustered, Alec could tell. He'd always been able to decipher someone's inflection to their feelings.

"You'll have to take your bet then. Jeez, you and Simon really are no different. Are you sure you two aren't related or something? How long have you known him again?" Alec's question caught Jace off guard. He knew he would have to be honest with his friends if he wants to stay close. But now wasn't the time yet.

"Quite long. I guess that's it for today. I'll see you tomorrow?" He got up and picked up his blazer. He smoothed down his wrinkled shirt before dangling his blazer on his shoulder.

"Yeah, see you. Oh, and Jace, you're doing very well." Alec complimented.

"Thanks. I learned from the best." Was what the blonde said before exiting the training room.

"You're doing too well, Jace." Alec muttered under his breath even when there's no one else in the room. He got up as well and retrieved his things from the bench and walked out the room. He gave the one-way mirror installed on the wall at the end of the room a glance before shutting the door closed.

A man stood on the other side of the room. He had been watching the two boys trained through the mirror. He was putting on a stoic expression like he always did. His mind was playing back the talk he had with Alec.

_"Jace is improving. I can see that. You've put a lot effort into training him on your own."_

_"Thank you, sir. I've tried my best in guiding him the way you did for me."_

_"However, I'm afraid that I still can't put him on the team."_

_"But why sir? I thought you said he was improving. He passed the beginners level and he could even compete for-"_

_"Hold your tongue, boy. Are you even listening to yourself? To be the school's representative takes a lot more than that. You yourself have experienced that."_

_"Yes sir."_

_"Besides, I don't really trust him. He just moved in and I couldn't found any records of his old school. It seemed that our new acquaintance has a lot of secrets behind him. But that's not I want you to worry about. Would you do something for me boy?"_

_"What is it?"_

_"Here. It's the usual but I want you to double the dosage. Take it daily. I can see you are starting to wear off faster. Maybe in two months-times I might consider Jace again so you can concentrate on the upcoming competition. This is your last year Alec and I don't want any disappointment."_

_"I understand sir."_

* * *

Alec closed the bottle as he popped up two pills into his mouth. He swallowed them and stared into the mirror. He was in the bathroom while Magnus was in the kitchen, making dinner for them. He inhaled heavily and noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

'I really need to stop studying late at night.' He thought to himself. He got out from the bathroom and went to check his phone when it lighted up and showed the ID caller.

"Hey Izzy. What's up?" He held his phone to his ear and walked into the kitchen where Magnus had finished setting down their dinner.

"Who is it?" He mouthed to Alec. The dark-haired laid his phone on the dining table and pressed the loudspeaker button.

"Izzy, you're on loudspeaker. Magnus can absolutely hear you." Alec warned his sister in case she humiliated herself.

"Oh. Hey Magnus. Have you heard?" Izzy's cheerful voice sounded through the phone.

"Heard what, dear?" Magnus asked.

"Simon asked me out!" Izzy gave a loud squeal which Magnus thought was funny while Alec seemed to be annoyed. That guy had to wait for a month to ask his sister out. What a true man.

"Really? Oh, that's great! I'm happy for you, Isabelle." Magnus sounded sincere. He looked over at his blue eyed friend and saw him stifling a yawn. Alec must've not wanted Izzy to know that he's tired so Magnus decided it was point to end the conversation.

"Hey Izzy, why don't we talk tomorrow and you can share me all the details? I'm really tired and your brother has promised me that he would be my pillow for the night so I need him off the phone. Do you mind?" Magnus waited for the answer and he saw Alec quirked an eyebrow. Izzy's brother hadn't said a word to her. It was Magnus who'd brought the conversation to life so he thought that the other guy wouldn't mind.

"I won't be at school tomorrow. We have cheer practice for the football competition. Didn't Camille tell you?" The girls, Izzy, Clary and Camille were all in the cheer team. They usually go to a private gym for their practice which is just near the school.

"No, she didn't. Must've slipped her mind. Maybe next time, then?" Magnus tried to fake a yawn and Alec caught him but he didn't say anything.

"Okay. Cuddle him for me will you, Magnus? Good night. I love you, Alec." Izzy hung up. Alec reached for his phone and kept it in his pants' pocket.

"What was that for?" Both of the boys were spooning the pasta that Magnus had marvellously cooked. Magnus took a sip of water before he answered Alec.

"You look like you need extra rest tonight and I thought that Izzy wouldn't mind if you skipped a night conversation with her." Alec was swirling his pasta with his fork. He looked distracted.

"Hey. You okay over there?" Magnus regarded the unfocused gaze Alec gave him. His blue eyes still shunned brightly but they lacked in spirit.

"It's fine if you can't finish it. You can go to bed first. I still have essay and reports to finish." Magnus proposed him.

"No, no. I'm alright. It's just the extra training with Jace took a lot from me." Alec had his practice with Jace separately from his fencing team upon his couch's order. So basically, he was doing twice the amount of practice than he usually did.

"How is he doing? I see you two are getting along."

"He's doing well. He's a nice guy." Alec pushed his plate away and finished his drink.

"You said differently a month ago about Jace." Magnus grinned. He knew Alec could never hate someone even if that person had done bad things to him. All he needed was time to get along with Jace.

"I was wrong. I guess there's nothing wrong with him. I'm going to bed now. See you in the morning, Magnus." He walked over to the sink and put his glass down before walking towards his room.

"Wait. I thought you're supposed to be my pillow tonight?" Magnus faked a pout and Alec couldn't help but smirked.

"Good night, Maggie." Magnus growled at the nickname. He never and will ever like it. Alec knew and he's doing it on purpose to tease Magnus.

"Night, Blue Eyes."

* * *

"Hey, mom. How are you feeling?" Jace popped his head inside his mother's room and looked at her. She was on her bed, a book in her hands and she was wearing her glasses. Cecily Herondale looked up at her only son and smiled.

"I'm feeling fine. I thought I heard Simon's voice?" She put down the book but she didn't show that she was getting up.

"Hi Mrs. Herondale." Simon's head was now popping at the door as well. He gave a big warm smile to the old lady.

"Are you boys studying together?" Cecily peered at her son and his friend.

"Yes. We're going down to the kitchen for a while to grab some food. You need something mom?" Jace inquired his mother.

"No, dear. Thank you. Enjoy yourself boys but not too much." Jace closed the door and walked down the stairs to the kitchen with Simon trailing behind him. They both sat at the table after Jace had poured a drink for both of them.

"Your mother is doing fine, right? No more attacks?" Simon asked while taking a swig of his drink. He must be very thirsty.

"Nope. She's been taking her meds regularly as prescribed, thanks to your mother. She'd been pestering mom with all the precautions and Cecily said she had to raise the white flag for your mom to stop." Simon's mother, Elaine Lewis had been a good friend of Cecily since they moved in. She had been very upset when Cecily's asthma attacked and she wasn't there the last time it happened. So now, Elaine was trying her best to take care of Cecily. Both of the women had lost their husbands and it seemed that the relations had connected those two closer.

"We won't want you to go through the same thing again, right?" Simon's tone was low. Jace looked him in the eyes and understood what Simon meant.

"Si, should I tell them about what happened? About me being a juvenile?" Simon sighed and looked at his best buddy.

"You mean people at school? They ought to know about your past if you care for them and they do care for you, that for sure. Alec is even opening up to you quicker than I've tried. It's up to you, Jace. Do what you think is best." The brown-haired took another gulp of his drink.

"I'm scared of what they'll think of me." Jace mumbled.

"Jace, do you really think of them that way? Trust me; those guys won't back you out just because you've had a bad history. Everyone has their past and secrets."

"You're right. When the time comes, I'll be ready for it."

"And I'll be there for you, Jace." The two sat in the kitchen as they relished in the solitude of silence.

Time was their enemy and they didn't even realize what was coming to them.

Part II: As We Draw The Lines

Izzy was in her room plopped on her bed. She was facing the ceiling and her mind was playing back the conversation she had with Simon yesterday. It was their third date after seeing each other for two weeks. They were moving at a fast pace, everyone can see that but to both of them it was just right. The feelings were mutual so no doubt and hesitation could get in between, at least not yet.

_They were both sitting in one of the empty booth in Taki's, facing each other, sipping their drinks and eating some fries until Izzy asked,_

_"Does Jace have a girlfriend?" This had caused Simon to choke on his drink. He cleared his throat before answering,_

_"Not that I know. Why?" Izzy caught the look in Simon's eyes._

_"Don't be silly, Simon. I was asking for Clary." In that instant, relieve filled Simon's hardened expression. He is just cute, Izzy mused._

_"Well, one thing I know it's not one-sided. Jace couldn't stop talking about her aside from your brother." This time, Simon had caught Izzy's attention._

_"What's wrong with Alec?" Curiosity and anxiety was visible through Izzy's features._

_"Oh, nothing is wrong. Jace just talks about fencing and stuff." Izzy sighed._

_"What is it?" Simon inquired. The girl looked at him._

_"It's nothing." She smiled but not her normal sweet smile._

_"Are you sure?" Simon realized that he'd barely knew the girl in front him and for her to share about something personal was way too early. He could only nod when Izzy looked away and swirled her drink, not even once registering that she didn't answer his last question._

She smiled to herself. Simon is a great guy. She hadn't meant to push him away like that but the time will come when she'll finally let him in. And now is not the right time, she thought.

* * *

"The usual, Mike." Jace waited as the pharmacist took his regular prescriptions. It was his mother's and before he got out from Bones Boys Home, Elaine used to do it for her. He looked around the store and his eyes stopped. He spun too quickly that he hit his elbow on the counter. Clary was just entering the pharmacy and her eyes had caught the blonde's.

"Hi. What are you doing here?" The small girl walked towards Jace with a sweetest smile that Jace ever seen.

"Hey. Just getting some meds for my mom. What about you?" His answer earned a quirked eyebrow from the red-head.

"I was just passing by when I saw you. Is your mom sick?" She looked genuinely concerned which engender Jace's little feelings for her.

"Oh, no. She's fine. She has asthma." He tried not to look sympathetic but he knew he failed because Clary looked even more depressed.

"Hey, don't worry. It's not that bad. We've had worst." At that, Jace stopped. He didn't want to get on that matter so he diverted the topic.

"Where were you going then?" He asked.

"Oh, right. I was on my way home. I shall get going then. See you at school on Monday." Clary turned and was about to walk away when Jace halted her and held her arm.

"Wait. Clary, I-I would…like to…"He was stuttering. By the Angel, he was stuttering.

"What is it, Jace?" He took a deep breathe.

"I would like to hang out with you sometimes. You know, get closer and be friends." Clary smiled.

"We are friends, Jace." And with that she left but not before saying,

"And sure, I would love to hang out."

* * *

Alec was alone in the apartment. Magnus had gone out with Camille and he was left to clean the house. Not that he minded if it wasn't for the headache he was having. The constant banging in his skull felt like it was going to split his cranium any moment soon. He sunk down on the couch rather ungracefully and let out a heavy sigh. The migraine he'd been having for the past few weeks was beginning to affect him.

His home works which was still loaded remained untouched. Reports needed to be sent in the next day were still halfway done. Even during his fencing training with Jace he was unable to get a grip of himself. Jace even noticed that but he knew the blonde wouldn't say anything. Alec wondered what Simon told him. His mind drifted off after a while and he subconsciously fell asleep on the couch.

When Magnus got home, the first thing he saw was his couch being occupied by a certain dark-haired. Alec was still sleeping, his head resting on the armrest while his left forearm was on his forehead. He thought of letting Alec rest for a while more but he must have heard the door closed because when Magnus reached the kitchen, Alec was trailing behind him.

"Hey, sleeping beauty. Had a nice repose?" Magnus joked when he saw Alec stifling a yawn. He's been doing that a lot lately. It was only a couple of months since school started but Alec looked as if he'd been through a whole year of learning without resting. But Magnus knew the reason without having Alec to tell him. Those extra training with Jace was paying a lot for his Blue Eyes.

Alec on the other hand was trying very hard not to let Magnus knew of his condition. He didn't want his best friend to worry although if Magnus ever finds out, he'd be very pissed off. Alec would be too if Magnus ever hides anything from him. They'd been through hell together. He was brought out of his trance when Magnus came and stood directly facing him, his eyebrows quirked.

"What?" Alec asked him.

"I didn't say anything." Magnus answered him.

"Oh." Magnus saw something flickered in Alec's eyes and he held out his hands and rested it on the other boy's shoulders.

"Wait. Are you sick?" He said seriously. Alec knew not to lie because when Magnus had already pulled out that tone with him, it was pointless to argue.

"Just a bad headache, that's all." He ended it with another yawn.

"I'm just going to clear everything in the kitchen. Why don't you go lie down in your room and I'll check on you later." Magnus wasn't asking. That was an order and Alec was more than pleased to obey. The taller watched as the other dragged himself to his room. Magnus had asked Alec the reason why he had to have his training with Jace separately from his fencing team. And all he got was,

_"Coach's order. Jace is in the club but he's not on the team until proven worthy."_

He didn't want to argue although he does hope for Jace to improve quickly and show it to their coach so that his mate won't have to suffer any longer. He stopped his muse and began his work. He started with the dishes first and move along other things that needed to be cleaned in the kitchen. Once he was done, he moved to the living room which didn't need as much attention as the kitchen.

Magnus was trained by his aunt to do the chores since he was going to be living on his own. He had never really asked Alec to help him with the apartment, the latter sort of get on to work on his own. Magnus didn't protest though. He knew Alec needed a little bit of distraction and he was glad to provide them.

He headed straight to his friend's room once he was done. He didn't knock because he knew Alec was sleeping. He pushed the door open and peered inside. His guess was right. Alec was on the bed, sprawled widely as if the moment he got close to his bed, he practically face fall onto it.

Magnus entered cautiously and softly closed the door. He walked over to the curtain and pulled them closed. The lighting in the room immediately decreased but Magnus could still make out Alec's silhouette. He sauntered over to him and let out a yawn as he felt himself getting sleepy as well. Then, he slowly pushed Alec to the other side of the bed and laid himself next to his friend. Magnus lied on his side facing Alec. He reached out one of his hand and played with Alec's jet black hair. With that, he contently fell asleep, too tired to notice that his hand was still on the other's head.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey. I know it's late again and I'm really sorry but this chapter is longer. Please accept it as an apology. The story is going to escalate starting from this chapter. The plot will get much more complicated and more dramas will arise. Please tell me what you think and have fun reading. :)

Chapter 4

Part I: Pieces Slowly Appearing

The next day at school, it was apparent to everybody that Homecoming was near and so were the games. But for an elite school such as Institute High, football wasn't really something as big compared to fencing. The school had been champion for many years and this time, it was a certain win.

At least it was until people started to notice the lack of spirit and energy in a certain black-haired and blue eyed prodigy. The first person that had indeed showed concern was the fencing coach. It seemed that the young boy was very important for the man to show a hint of regard to a human being and he finally chose to accept the fact. Alexander Lightwood needed a substitute. And on that portrayal of dismiss, Jace was tested and finally accepted on the team.

"I hope you do well." The president of the club said to the new member. Jace gave the pale boy a smile.

"You will have to do more than well. Mind me but I don't want any slacking off from even a substitute who happens to be a newly added member. Should you show any sign of rebel, I wouldn't have to say it; even if you are  _Alexander's_  substitute." Was what the coach's warm greeting had been. The news travelled fast among the students which was normal for them. Nothing goes unknown to anybody in the school.

Meanwhile, the group decided to celebrate it by having Jace to spar with his own coach.

"Not in any universe will I ever spar with that old man," was his response. The others were somehow stunned with his reply but Magnus's laugh broke it.

"We mean Alec." It was visible that Jace hadn't thought about that.

"Ouch. You really underestimate me, don't you? After all I've done." Alec faked a pout and shook his head with a little too much force.

"Hey, hey. I never said that. When you say coach, I thought it was  _the_  coach. If you mean Alec, I refer him as my trainer." Jace tried to cover his slip. His words somehow got an approval look from Alec himself.

"Apology accepted." He smiled.

"Well then. What are we waiting for?" Magnus clapped his hands so as to gain the attention of the spectators which was only Clary, Izzy and Simon. School had long ended and Jace's usual training session was supposedly that afternoon but since he no longer need to train separately, their last meeting was spent in that manner. Magnus joined them at the bench as the two fencers sort out their weapons and took their stances on the carpet in the middle of the room.

"Take it easy on me, eh trainer?" Jace joked as he stood in front of Alec. The taller guy coughed lightly before straightening himself up and trying not to let his composure fade; at least not in front of his friends. He smiled reassuringly back to Jace who had caught too many of Alec's oddly unhealthy symptoms during their training. Although he did smiled back but soon disappeared after Alec said,

"You're a member now. It's time to show you what fencing really is." The spar started.

After half an hour of graceful turning and gliding for Alec and thirty minutes of avoiding and jolting for Jace, it was pretty much obvious who had the upper hand.

"You'll get him next time blondie." Magnus patted him on the shoulder to encourage him as they walked out of the training room and to the parking space.

Jace was walking behind the group along with Alec. The latter was moving at a slower pace and Jace settled next to him, strolling in the same pace.

"I have to be honest; I really did underestimate you there. After all our sessions together I'd never thought that you still have some tricks up your sleeve." Jace said in his laid back tone.

Alec laughed a little which sounded more like a tired sigh to Jace. The blonde turned to his taller friend and asked,

"Is something wrong Alec?" He just smiled. He wondered to himself how someone like Jace that he'd only gotten to know for a few months was much more attentive to his other friends. He excluded Magnus since they were living under the same roof and it was just a matter of time for him to notice. But Jace was different. At that, Alec was grateful for the friendship that was started to bond between them.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just tired." He replied truthfully. As they headed to their respective directions, Alec resolved to himself that he wouldn't push Jace away any longer. He knew that the other guy was sincere to being his friend and that there was nothing that Jace was hiding from him. Nothing.

Jace on the other hand was seeing through Alexander Lightwood's concrete wall for the very first time. He knew then it was the right time for him to share his past to them; those who had owned their place in Jace's new life. Although he must admit that a particular redheaded had secured a spot in his soft heart.

* * *

Alec was quite. He'd been that way ever since they exited the school compound and Magnus didn't say a word to him. His hands were on the steering wheel and he was tapping his index finger, following the beat of the song on the radio. As they stopped on a red light, Magnus looked over at his friend. He was slumped in his seat and his eyes were closed.

"I'm glad that Jace is finally on the team." Magnus said as he pressed the pedal and continued driving. "It means that you can concentrate on yourself now."

Alec opened his eyes and focused his gaze on the road. "It means that you don't have to carry me to bed every night now since I started falling asleep on the couch. Thank you very much, Magnus." Alec retorted with a little hint of sarcasm in his voice and a glint of mischief in his eyes. Magnus chuckled at him.

"You're welcome. Although I must say that you're quite heavy. I was starting to think that I'll be able to build some muscles in me. It was a good exercise." He grinned. Part of what he said was true. Alec  _used_ to be heavy. He knew that since he'd experienced carrying the other boy when they were seventeen. Alec hurt his ankle during one of his training and Magnus had to be his walking stick for a couple of weeks. Presently when he carried him to his room though, he was surprised to find himself flinging the boy like he weighed nothing and later on Magnus could even carried him bridal style.

"I'm going to finish some reports tonight. You can go to bed first." Alec stated to Magnus as they were already in Magnus's apartment. The latter was locking the door shut when he turned to his friend and said,

"No you're not." Alec eyed him squarely.

"And why so?" He retorted back. Magnus walked past him and opened the bedroom door opposite his, Alec's bedroom door.

"Because I say so." Magnus knew he was being a little bit too much but as Alec was living with him, he figured he had the right to at least make sure the boy living with him was alive and well; at least alive. Magnus pressed on,

"Just get some sleep tonight Alec. I'll wake you up early tomorrow." The other boy growled. He knew he wouldn't be able to win that fight since he was feeling worn out. He simply nodded at the taller guy, giving him a small smile before he entered his room and closed his door. From behind the door he whispered,

"Good night, Magnus."

Part II: Conflicted Feelings

"An A? Seriously Alec, are you fine? Like perfectly fine? That was the first A you've ever got, for Chemistry and it may sounds weird that I'm making a fuss out of  _your_ marks but you  _never_ gets an A." It was Magnus. Actually it was the three of them; Magnus, Jace and Alec. Alec was in the middle.

"I thought he's the top in the school?" Jace was confused. They had just come out from the lab and gotten their grades for the first month evaluation for Chemistry. The school system is different you see, as it holds monthly tests and prepares two examinations. You will never get to hear the word quizzes from Institute High.

"He is." Magnus answered him. Alec, although being in the centre had yet to say a word.

"But he never got an A?" Jace questioned further.

"It was always A+." At that, Jace mentally face palmed himself. Of course it was an A+. You don't want to know how he'd performed for all his subjects. Being absent for two years from school means that you would have to work extra hard when you get back to studying. Jace forgot the extra part.

"Please, don't stress out for me Magnus. It'll just bring out your wrinkles." Alec finally spoke. A gasp was heard from Magnus.

"How dare you." They were entering the cafeteria and immediately, Jace noticed Clary together with Izzy and Simon. Those two had really gotten closer. Simon had his arm wrapped around Izzy's waist but when he saw Alec, he immediately pulled away. The trio stride to their table at the centre of the cafeteria.

"What's wrong?" Izzy asked her boyfriend. Simon just held his gaze on Alec. Well, more like on Alec's shoulder. He couldn't look him in the eye. Izzy caught it somehow and she turned to her brother and gave him a smile. He smiled back.

"You don't mind, do you Alec?" She asked too sweetly.

"No, of course not." That was his answer but as he sat down next to his sister, he wrapped his arm around Izzy's waist, imitating Simon's previous action.

"But I think you can keep it hold for a while. I bet you two would have done a lot more if I wasn't in the same school." Simon looked away then and Izzy blushed a little. Alec tugged her a little closer and thankfully Simon didn't notice. He wanted to tell her something.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"For what?" She whispered back.

"I wasn't feeling well. Magnus keep asking me to sleep early and I forgot to call you." She frowned.

"You weren't feeling well?" Her hand automatically reached out for Alec's forehead but before she could feel it, he stopped her and grabbed her arm.

"I'm fine now." He lied. Izzy finally noticed the pale skin and cracked lips.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She practically growled softly. Izzy was upset. Although they weren't living together anymore, they had promised to look after one another.

"I told you. I slept early and I forgot." He gave her a look so that they can end the conversation at that and maybe continue when they were alone. Izzy understood. Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Magnus was saying something to Simon when a glance of shiny blonde hair passed his vision. The slender figure was walking at a fast pace and had her arms wound around Magnus's neck in a short second.

"Hey, Magnus." Camille gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"Camille. Are you off to cheer meeting?" She was in her cheerleading uniform and so were the other two girls at the table.

"Yeah. We need extra training since the game is near. I'll see you later, okay? Come girls, we better get off soon." Izzy gave her brother a kiss on the cheek and was about to do the same for Simon when he gave her a look that says "I don't want to be killed by your brother". Clary smiled fondly to the blonde guy. Camille waved at the boys and was leading the two out of the cafeteria. There was no need to mention that all eyes were on them when they walked, not in that uniform which was an exact definition for alluring.

Jace meanwhile was contemplating something in his mind. He wanted to get rid of the uneasy feeling in his stomach and he had planned to do it with all of them present. Now, it was just four.

"Hey, guys. I have something to tell you." He began.

"What is it?" Magnus asked. But before he could say anything further, Alec suddenly got up on his feet and was rushing towards the washroom. His friends had failed to notice his expression turning from mildly sick to ill green.

"Alexander!" Magnus rushed out as well and went after the black-haired. Simon and Jace were left alone at the table, wondering why Alec had run off but Simon was expressing a sad manner.

"Maybe next time, Jace."

"Yeah. Next time."

* * *

Clary and Izzy were walking down the path heading to Izzy's house. They had just ended their cheer meeting and decided to spend the rest of the afternoon in Izzy's room, going through notes and maybe get some sleep. The girls were indeed tired and sore.

"That was really tiring. I mean, Camille is really going all out this year." Izzy exclaimed as she sat down on her chair. Clary settled herself on the floor, her legs crossed underneath her. The girls were aware of their state and they didn't intend to pollute the nicely made bed with their awful odour. The red head stripped herself off her cheerleading uniform and stayed in her undergarments. She wasn't shy of Izzy, although she does envy the other girl's features as the black-haired also did the same.

"It's her senior year. She doesn't want to leave with a bad record." Clary responded.

"I know." Izzy said dejectedly. "She said that many times. Console me here, Clary."

"What do you want me to say?" Clary tilted her head. Accepting the question as an opportunity, Izzy posed the topic that had been bothering her.

"What's going on with you and Jace?"

"What's going on with me and Jace?" Clary repeated the question in the same tone as Izzy which induce an unconvinced look from the taller girl.

"We're just hanging out, Iz." Izzy groaned. She prompted,

"Don't give me that 'we're just hanging out' crap, Clary dear. Come on. You can tell me. Are you guys seeing each other?"

Clary waited a moment before she answered as she looked down on the floor.

"I wish we are. I mean, he's nice and everything but…I don't know. I barely know him." She said honestly.

"You don't still have that crush on Alec, do you?" The brown-eyed girl grinned wickedly at her friend.

"Izzy, that was a long time ago. Please don't bring that up again. Like ever." Clary meant it. She was grinning at the thought of her crush on her best friend's brother when they were thirteen but that had changed when Clary realized that Alec treated her no less like his sister.

"I won't. Sorry." Izzy got down from her chair and sat across her friend, copying her position.

"I like Jace. I hope we can be friends." She said truthfully.

"Then you will." Izzy grabbed the petite girl's hands in her smooth ones and gave it a squeeze. That's how it had always been ever since they've lost Max. Clary was always there for Izzy and vice versa.

"Don't give me hope. I don't even know if he likes me." Clary said disheartened.

"Oh trust me, you're not alone." She smirked. Clary stared at the girl in front her. "What do you mean?"

"He obviously likes you, Clary. I've confirmed it with Simon, just in case and it is true." The emerald eyes plainly lighted up. Clary thought it was enough about her so she asked instead,

"How are you and Simon?" She tried to hide her grin but failed.

"We're fine, I guess." Izzy's reply was nonchalant.

"What do you mean fine?" Izzy's phone beeped at that moment. She opened to see a text from Magnus.

_Hey, Iz. Just want to inform you that Alec's sick and I'm taking him home._

"Who is it?" Clary tried to peep. Izzy scrunched her eyebrows. She just found out that morning that her brother was unwell but she didn't realize it was quite bad.

"It's Magnus. He's bringing Alec home. He's sick." She got up and took her towel, heading straight to the bathroom but not before asking Clary,

"I'm going to Magnus's. Are you coming with me?" She strode off, not waiting for the red head reply but she heard Clary said "Of course" before closing the bathroom door.

* * *

Magnus POV (written by Alice W.)

Alec was sitting on the bed. He kept reaching for the bin and heaving air into it. When he was finally done, he put the bin down and ran the back of his hand over his lips, coughing and sniffling.

"You look like you're having the hangover of your life," I said leaning against the wall, hands tucked in my pockets.

"Shut up, Magnus."

I laughed softly, shaking my head. I pushed myself off the wall and walked over to Alec. "You're just nauseous from the stuff in the lab, Alec. You'll be fine."

"Are you feeling better?" Ms. Loss asked as she approached Alec. She didn't need Alec's reply to know he's sick to the stomach. "You're not well enough, Alec," she said as she inspected Alec.

"I'll take him home," I said, giving the tiny nurse a sideways glance and a smile.

"Y-yes. Sure. I'll have you both excused from class," she fluttered.

We walked out of the nurse's office into the empty school hallway.

"Hmm, what should we do for the rest of the day?" I asked. "Maybe we should see a horror movie to scare away your nausea," I tried to humor the Alec turning green beside me.

"Ha ha," he responded.

After driving out of the school compound, Alec spoke,

"Coach is going to kill me."

"Relax." I said. "You earned it. Besides, you can't train when you're obviously ill."

"I'm starving. I didn't eat anything this morning."

"Yeah, you didn't make me breakfast."

"Your fridge is empty, Magnus."

I shrugged. "Bridget's?"

"Bridget's."

We pulled up outside Bridget's Diner and I noticed the parking lot was full. From the window I saw the football team from Mortmain High, no doubt celebrating a homecoming win. I inwardly sighed. Mortmain High football jocks are known to be troublemakers, always picking fights at parties and any other places just to show off.

I faced Alec, "Hey, how 'bout-"

"Let me guess, take away instead?"

I smiled and nodded.

"Alright, I won't be long."

As he reached for the handle I practically yelled, "No, I'll go!" His eyes widened at me. "You're still sick from the chemicals in the lab. Stay here, you do not want to inhale the odor of obnoxious jocks. Not to mention the immense public display of affection which I'm sure is taking place all over the diner right now. You'll vomit every-"

"Okay, okay," Alec waved his hand limply.

"Be right back," I muttered before getting out of the car.

I sat down on a stool and ordered what Alec and I usually get when we come here. The diner was filled with boisterous laughter. I looked around and saw football jocks and cheerleaders huddled in a booth with their arms around each other. One of the guys, Woolsey Scott, held his hand up at me. I nudged my chin at him and smiled. In one corner, I saw a couple making out. My order is taking a very long time. I was about to look away from the couple but my gaze lingered on the girl. She seemed too familiar. She had pale skin, thick blond hair and a slender figure with just the right amount of curves to have people staring. They pulled apart then, the guy whispered something in her ear which made her laugh and that's when I saw her face. Camille.

I realized my order had arrived. But I was already walking towards them. I was walking at a rapid pace but the sound of my footsteps was discreet. My fists were clenched on my sides. Just a few heartbeats before I can swing the guy around. Then, a hand was on my shoulder swinging me around brusquely. "What the-"

Alec dragged me back towards the counter with his arms firm around my shoulders. He grabbed my order and tossed 20 dollars on the counter. I wrestled out of his grip and stood before him, staring him squarely in the eye.

"Magnus, think, you're just going to embarrass yourself here. You wanna beat the guy up in this diner with all his mates ready to back him up," he said. He shook his head, "I know you can hold your ground but it's like ten against one, it's irrational and you know it."

I sighed the most exasperated sigh and stormed out of the diner with Alec trailing behind me. The ride home was silent. I had no idea what this feeling overwhelming me was, I've never felt like this before. Alec was right, my picking a fight with that guy would do me no favors. I don't always lose my head like that, I'm usually composed. My head was pounding and I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. I drove fast and ran a couple of red lights along the way. Alec would usually complain about me breaking the traffic law. He's very strict about safety on the road lately but he remained quiet next to me today.

When we got home, Alec just tossed our lunch on the table by the door. He then sat on the couch with his feet propped on the coffee table without saying a word to me. He knows I've lost my appetite. He must've expected I'd head straight to my room because he flinched when I sat next to him.

"Damn," I said, staring at the blank flat screen TV in front of us. Alec looked at me and opened his mouth to say something. The look on his face tells me he's going to offer me a piece of advice. But before he could say anything I said, "I mean, really, Camille? A Mortmain High jock? They can't even throw a proper keg party." I raised an eyebrow at him so as to say  _remember?_ "I don't even recognize that guy back there, he's probably new. You'd think her taste in men would escalate after being with me. But clearly not, right?" I turned to Alec, grinning. He doesn't look amused. He's about to say something but I cut him off again, "I mean at least a college senior or a Broadway actor, they could count as my rival." After a few moments, I said, "Well, that's it then. I'm gonna have to break up with her first before she dumps my sorry ass."

A heavy silence joined the conversation before Alec said, "You're not breaking up with her, Magnus. And she's not dumping you. You won't let her." And with that, I was left thinking Blue Eyes before me knows me too well and he is staring into my soul as he says out loud what I am afraid to admit to myself all this while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do leave a review! :)
> 
> (Credit to Alice Wednesday for Magnus POV)


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 5. Enjoy and have a nice day! :)

Chapter 5  
Part I: Enduring the Endurable

Simon was finishing the last of his reports for History when a text came in. It was Izzy.

_Simon, are you asleep?_

He put down his pen and rubbed his eyes before replying her text.

_Nope. Just touching up my History report. Why are you still up?_

_I can't sleep._  She texted back.

He thought for a moment before typing,

_Can I call you?_

Her reply came shortly after.

_Maybe._

He didn't think long this time. He pushed the call button and dialled Izzy's number. After two rings, she picked up.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey you." She answered.

"What are you doing?" Asked Simon.

"Just lying on my bed not finishing my History report." Simon smiled at that. Izzy's voice sounded distant.

"Are you on loudspeaker?" He asked again.  
"No."

"You sound distant." He heard a buzzing sound before Izzy answered him back.

"There. Clearer?"

"Clearer." Silence. Simon didn't know what to say next. He waited for her to say something, anything but surprisingly the mute was comfortable for him as he listened to the sound of Izzy's inhaling and exhaling softly.

"Simon?"

"Hmm?"

"I…" She trailed off. He didn't say anything at first but then piped up,

"What is it? What's making my girl unable to go to sleep?" Izzy giggled at that. Simon wondered if he had ever heard her giggled before.

"Ghosts." She joked.

"Ghosts? How dare they intrude a young lady's sleep?" Simon encountered which got out a laugh from Izzy. He laughed as well.

"I was just thinking about you." She muttered.

"Me? You miss me?" He waited for a reply but she didn't say anything. He waited again.

At last he said,

"I miss you." He heard a sharp intake of breathe from her before she tried to cover it with a yawn.

"Alright then. I'll see you at school." Said Izzy.

"Good night." He whispered.

"Good night." She whispered back.

Izzy closed her phone and leaned back on her bed. Her head was more messed up after hearing Simon's words. Before texting her boyfriend, Izzy was just talking on the phone with Alec.

_"You're on the meds again, aren't you?" Izzy said accusingly to his brother. Alec sighed deeply on the other end._

_"Only for a while. I have double amount of practice this year."_

_"I thought so. Well then, you should stop since Jace is on the team." Izzy pressed._

_"I can't. Not yet. I still have the competitions coming and I need my strength." He retorted back._

_"But you know those pills are making you ill. That's the side effect." Izzy said to him. She could hear her brother's frustrated sigh and stressed on._

_"Promise me you'll stop. I saw your grades and they're dropping. You really need to learn how to take care of yourself better, Alec."_

_"I will." He answered. "You promise me you won't tell Magnus about that."_

_"I won't." Izzy said. He sighed again._

_"Are they home?"_

_"Nope." She popped the 'p'._

_"Have you had dinner?" He asked some more._

_"I'm not hungry." She responded._

_"What were you doing before I called you?" Alec inquired._

_"I'm working on the Homecoming dance theme. I'm stuck between choosing underwater and paradise. Which one would you prefer?"_

_"Underwater." Alec chose._

_"Why?" Izzy asked, frowning._

_"I don't know. You ask me to choose so I pick one." Izzy could visibly imagine how Alec's expression turned to annoyance. He never liked to give reasons. Izzy noted that since they were small._

_"Okay, okay. Underwater it is." Said Izzy, defeated. Alec didn't say anything so she quietly asked,_

_"Alec, when are you coming home?" No answer. Izzy asked again,_

_"Don't you want to come back?" More silence. Knowing that her brother wouldn't answer her questions she whispered softly to him before hanging up,_

_"I miss you and Max. I love you Alec. Sleep well." The line was off._

That wasn't the first time she hung up on Alec. She had done so in many occasions when their conversation led to Max or house or their parents. It was always Izzy who brought them up and it was always her who ended up defeated. She couldn't say anything more when Alec said none.

After she hung up, she would feel distress and angry and other emotions combined together. It was as if feeling herself similar to a time bomb; a time bomb that grew smaller and smaller as she learned to accept the fact. When she used to feel uncontrollable and explosive, she now felt only sadness and despair. What used to be a perfect family was torn apart by their youngest' death.

That year though was a different year for Izzy. The boy she had a crush on for Angel knows how long had finally became her boyfriend. That was fine until she couldn't look away at the slightest sight of the brown curled. Simon was always in her mind and without even realizing it, she had turned to him when there's no place else to go. A thought struck her mind and soul as she grasped the reason why she felt restless with Simon's words; Simon had unintentionally and unexpectedly claimed her heart.

* * *

Clary POV

I ran as fast as my feet would carry me. The rain started to fall heavier as I neared my destination. I moved along the sidewalk, trying in vain to pass through the crowds with umbrellas as they pushed against one another, ignoring my small form crushed in between. I walked to the left side and squinted my eyes as the headlights of cars shone brightly, moving the opposite direction to mine.

The night sky which came faster due to the rain was solemnly black. No signs of stars; even the moon was a dull grey in light. I forced myself to stride quicker, belatedly noticing a fast moving car coming towards my side. I stopped frozen and closed my eyes, waiting for the splash of puddle that I knew would rain on me but it never came. Instead, I felt firm grips on both of my arms, as if embracing me and I realized that something or rather someone was blocking me from the pool of water.

The sight that greeted me as I opened my eyes took me by surprise. I looked up and saw a lopsided smile forming on his face. He said,

"That was a close one. Lucky I made it in time." I was staring at his face, not knowing what to say or how to react. His blonde hair was soaked wet and I finally realized that he'd gotten sprayed by the puddle.

"Jace!" I exclaimed. "Why did you do that? Now you're all drenched." To my astonishment, he chuckled.

"Am I supposed to let you get sprinkled by the water, Clary? If I knew you wanted to play, I would have moved aside." He said. I hit him on his arm playfully, only to register that I was still in his arms. I pushed him a little and he let go.

"Why don't we go inside?" He motioned with his head towards a café. I nodded and followed him. As we stepped through the door, strong aromas of coffee and chocolate breached my nose. I inhaled dreamily, loving the feel of caffeine around me. Jace was already moving towards an empty booth and I strode along. We sat facing each other and gave the waiter our orders. A few minutes later, the waiter brought our drinks and set it on the table. When the waiter walked away, I took a sip of the hot chocolate, sighing as I felt my lips made contact with the warm fluid. Jace ordered a cup of mocha and we sat there, enjoying our drink before he asked,

"Where were you going to?" I put down the cup before responding,

"Home. I went to the art store to get my mom a new batch of paints but the one that my mom always used was out of stock and when I was heading home, it started raining." I tried not to sound irritated but it was hard to ignore the cold that soaked through my thin clothes. How I wished I've brought my umbrella along.

"Your mom paints?" Jace asked.

"Some times." I answered him. "What were you doing outside in the rain by the way?"

He took a moment before shrugging,

"My mom's meds."

"How's your mother?" I automatically asked.

"She's fine. Thanks for asking." He said smiling. I couldn't help but looked away. That small gesture was all it took to make my heart skipped a beat.

"Clary, are you okay?" He sounded worried. I look up and tried to hold my gaze which was focusing onto his eyes. His golden orbs were shining as it always was whenever I stole a glance or two at him in school. But now with the absentees of our friends, I could look at him all I want.

"Yeah. I think we should wait for the rain to at least calm down a little bit before we get going." I suggested.

"Yup. It looks like it'll stop soon." And it did. By the time the rain was gone from the sky, we finished our drinks and got out. I was going to say "see you at school tomorrow, Jace" when he intercepted me.

"Let me walk you home." He persuaded on. "It's the least that I can do to make sure you got home safe." I smirked a little on his words. I let him walk beside me and we strolled slowly along the sidewalk. I was startled when I saw my house. I hadn't even realized that we had been walking quietly and no words were exchanged between us along the way.

I stopped when we reached the gate and turned to face him.

"This is my stop. Thanks again for the drink, the walk home and oh the puddle." I joked. Jace smiled that smile of his again and I surprised myself when I closed our distance and kissed him on the cheek. My eyes widened when I pulled away, not knowing the reason behind the peck. I noted that he looked mildly dazed and didn't waste my time to run for the front door. Before I can move though, his fingers wrapped around my waist and pulled me so that I was facing him. We were standing so close to each other, close but not touching.

"You're welcome. I'll see you at school tomorrow, Clary. Sweet dreams." He whispered before slowly moving down and returning the kiss on my left cheek.

"You too." Was my final words to him. My heart was beating wildly and I couldn't stop but think about his words.

_Sweet dreams._ I went to bed with those two words fresh in my memory. Have I actually fallen?

* * *

_The next day at school..._

Magnus POV (written by Alice W.)

I parked the car at our usual parking space. Alec and I got out of the car and made our way to the school entrance. We stopped and waited by the fountain in the front lawn when we saw Camille, Izzy and Clary walking towards us.

"Ladies," I greeted them. They smiled at me. Camille got on her tip toes and gave me a peck on the cheek. How sweet. I smiled achingly at her.

She must've noticed the hurt on my face because she asked, "Are you okay?" Her eyebrows furrowed. She looked genuinely concerned.

No, I'm not okay. "Yeah, good. As always," I winked.

She smiled sweetly at me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Like everything was normal. Like everything was fine. But everything is not normal. And it certainly is not fine. Not fine at all. I don't know what game she's playing but I decide to play along while I find out or until she tells me.

"Hey, Magnus," Izzy said. "Thanks for taking care of my brother. I heard he took it pretty hard in the lab yesterday," she nudged Alec. Alec rubbed his arm like she really hurt him but he couldn't keep from smiling.

"Oh no problem at all," I replied.

"So what did you guys do the rest of the day?" Clary asked.

"Don't tell us you went straight home," Izzy said. "'Cause we went to your place after cheer meeting, Magnus. You guys weren't home," she narrowed her eyes at me.

Alec answered, "We just grabbed food-"

"At Bridget's Diner," I finished for him. I can feel Alec eyeing me carefully.

"Really?" Clary said. "That's where our cheer meeting was."

"Until Mortmain jocks came and had their little party there," Izzy scoffed. "Better to leave before the inevitable brawl blocks our escape."

I laughed. "Yeah, we saw them."

"Did you catch Camille?" Clary asked. "She stayed a while after we left."

"Funny you mentioned that-"

Alec cut me off, "No, we didn't see her." He turned to me, giving me the don't-be-an-asshole look. I countered with the what-the-hell-do-you-think-you're-doing look.

Just then, I saw Simon and Jace moving in the school compound. I hollered after them and waved for them to come over.

Simon and Jace said hi to everyone. Izzy and Clary seemed drawn to Jace since he's the new kid, particularly Clary. She kept asking him all sorts of questions. Izzy, on the other hand, payed attention simply because she was attentive. It's a good quality, her alertness keeps her on her toes. She's capable of looking out for herself that way. So Simon told us about how he and Jace were friends since little and how they always went over to each other's places and hung out. I noticed Simon said all these things in the past tense which means they probably haven't seen each other in a while. But I didn't ask. At one point, Simon brought up that Jace once got in trouble for almost drowning their neighbor's chameleon. Alec bursted out laughing at this. I mean, it was a funny story and all but, geez, I had no idea, Goldilocks' a menace. One thing I can't tolerate, cruelty to animals. They told us stories about when they were kids. Every sentence beginning with  _remember whens_. Remember when you broke your fibula?  _Remember when you had a crush on the substitute teacher?_ Remember when you got chased by that rabid hound?

"You two reminisce like this as if you don't see each other everyday," Camille commented.

Clearly, she had caught them off guard because the two just looked at each other, like they've been caught stealing.

Camille noticed this and took advantage of their dumbfounded state. "Wait, how long has it been since you last seen each other?"

"A while..," Jace said.

Camille regarded him, her eyes narrowing slightly taunting him to elaborate.

"Well, it  _was_  summer break," Simon said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I was away, uh, on a vacation with my mom," Jace continued.

"I see," Camille concluded, unsatisfied by the brief explanation.

The bell rang, interrupting our discussion. Promptly, we all made our way to home room. On my way, Alec grabbed me by the arm.

"I really don't think you should confront her yet," he said quietly.

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You know, Magnus, you just gotta see where it goes first. She's not that kind of girl."

"Uh huh."

"Well, yeah, okay. She's a flirt. But she's not a cheater right? I'm telling you, there's something else," he patted me on the back and walked ahead.

Alec definitely left me something to think about when he said that. I can't say I disagree with him. And I have to admit I'm quite confused myself. Why wasn't I furious the moment I saw her face? Deep down, deep down, I think I understand her. I just don't want to jump to conclusions yet _._

Part II: Haze About To Fade

Jace could still feel Camille's eyes on him, her suspicions made him more insecure. He had to do this now but he wasn't mentally prepared. Then out of nowhere, his gaze turned to Clary. The girl was laughing at something that Simon had said but his mind didn't catch what it was nor did he care. All he knew was if he really wanted to let somebody knew of his past, the first person would be the redhead.

The second the others were out of sight, Jace grabbed Clary's arm. The girl turned around, shocked at the contact but remained silent as she waited for the blonde to say his words.

"Clary, I need to tell you something." He said nervously.

"What is it? Can't it wait? The second bell's going to ring any minute and we can't be late, Jace." Clary sounded urgent but she remained on her spot. Jace took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Should I do this? He thought. He was at a war with his inner self when the redhead's voice broke his muse.

"Fine. If you have to say it now then make it quick." She added with a smile in her speech. Jace looked at her eyes and said,

"I like you, Clary. I really do. I'm not trying to fool you or anything. I just want to let it out." He took another deep breath and she let him continued, keeping her manner cool.

"There is something that you must know about me and I really hope this will not change anything." Jace searched for any sign of doubt in Clary's expression but found none. She was still waiting for him to finish.

"I…I-I am an ex juvenile. I drove without a license and got into an accident. I just got out last year and haven't been to school for two years. Simon helped me into this school." He gulped. In the background, he heard the bell rung but it sounded far away. It had taken all of his breath to finish his sentences and he struggled not to close his eyes as he examined the look on Clary's face. The girl was looking down at the floor; her hair covered her emerald orbs. Time seemed to slow down for Jace.

After a few seconds she responded, unfazed.

"Meet me at the café the other day after school, would you?" Jace was speechless. He'd never expected that reaction although he could not say what kind of reaction he was expecting but it sure wasn't that. Clary turned and walked to her class, leaving behind the still stunned Jace. After only taken a few steps, she chimed in again.

"Thanks for telling me Jace. I really appreciate that. You better get going. I'll see you later." And she left.

Jace let out the breath that he had unconsciously held in. He walked to his class and sat down. The whole time, he was glad he'd managed to tell Clary about his past as he sincerely liked her and for that he was grateful.

Clary walked as calm as she could manage the entire path heading towards the lab. She sat down at her table and greeted Izzy.

"Hey." The other girl replied,

"You're late. Thank God the teacher hasn't come yet." Clary gave her a shrugged and stuck out her tongue which Izzy hilariously retuned. She went back to her musing and tried to recall what Jace had just told her. She caught all of his words about being an ex-juvenile and everything but the one thing that remained in her head was his confession.

_I like you, Clary. I really do._

She smiled to herself remembering those words but she tried to hide it when she saw that some of the students including Izzy was looking and grinning at her, particularly Izzy. They all shifted out into focus mode as the teacher entered and started the learning session. Clary counted patiently for school to end, eager and yet anxious to meet the blonde.

* * *

Magnus POV (written by Alice W.)

During lunch, we sat vis-à-vis at the table. The girls told us about their plans for the homecoming dance decors. Underwater theme. Blue balloons, blue ribbons, a mermaid ice sculpture, tridents, the usual stuff. To which I'm generally impassive about. Not that I didn't care about the homecoming dance. Not at all. I live for social events. But if it were up to me, I'd deck the hall lustrous. It's fail-safe. Bright ambiance would get everyone pumped and dancing the night away.

"What do you guys think?" Clary asked. "Or, I was thinking we could go for an '80s theme?"

"Yeah yeah, old school style," Simon said.

Here's my chance. "'80s, definitely. Use glitter. A lot."

"But glitters are messy," Izzy frowned. "And it's gonna take forever just to cover the dance floor."

"Don't be lazy," I countered, pointing at her with my fork.

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one doing all the work," she snapped. "Besides, we're gonna need a lot of glitter. I'm pretty sure the craft store's only sell in small packets. I've never heard anyone selling glitter in bulk."

"It'll be worth it when you guys are done. Everyone's gonna love it," I coaxed. Izzy doesn't look convinced. "You'll get super popular for this," I added in a sing-song voice. "Back me up here," I said to Alec.

He held both his hands up, not wanting to get involved in our debate. Some friend.

To my surprise, Jace said, "I think I like the '80s theme."

Izzy raised her eyebrows at him.

"It's retro. It's a good change from the common motif," he said.

I smiled widely at him and turned to Camille. "Camille?"

"'80s," she replied breezily.

"So that's everyone against the Lightwoods," I announced, fastening my hands against the back of my head and leaning back in my seat. "Don't worry, I'll get the glitters for you. I've got a guy," I grinned at Izzy.

She glared at me but couldn't hide her amusement. And thanked me anyway.

"But, the real matter at hand is," I began. "getting a date," I finished in a low voice, to no one in particular. Their reaction was priceless. I could almost feel the attraction and tension around the table. Simon and Izzy looked at each other knowingly, Izzy blushed. She was blushing. That doesn't happen a lot so I savor the moment. Yes, it's rude to stare but it's okay as long as they don't catch you. Alec and Camille looked unaffected. Clary was just poking her food but she was seemingly thinking about something. And Jace, he glanced at Clary, looked away and then back again. Someone's got a crush on the red-headed cheerleader.

After lunch, Camille stopped me by the cafeteria door.

"What's up?" I asked her.

"I wanted to apologize," she started. And pulled me back into the cafeteria where there are less people by then. I could see everyone shuffling out the cafeteria. "I'm sorry," she said. She held my gaze.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked.

She hugged me. "For everything," she said against my chest.

"Everything?"

She just held me tightly.

"Camille," I prompted.

She peeled herself from me. And seemed to be sorting herself out. She touched her forehead, her lips, as if she couldn't believe she'd said that. "It's just, I've been weird, haven't I? That's because I do feel weird around you. Like my heart speaks louder than my brain and I'm afraid I might say aloud my heart's content. I don't know. So I get scared and stayed away from you and see other... um, thinking that would erase whatever it is I'm feeling but it didn't." Then, she let out a breath like she's relieved. I looked at her and it dawned on me that she was confused and battling herself. She thought I couldn't understand her because she was rambling. But I do, because that's how I feel too, only less dramatic.

As I was about to say something, she interrupted. "Gotta go. Don't wanna be late for Biology, Mrs. Dark's a witch," she said, giving me wink. "See you." And she walked out the cafeteria.

* * *

Alec watched in silence at the two figures, unknown to the rest of the group as they parted ways to their respective classes. When the blonde girl was out of view and Magnus turned his head to him, Alec didn't look away. Instead, he let his eyes betrayed him.

Magnus notified something was wrong with Alec's stare when he turned his head towards the blue eyed. They were the only ones left still in the cafeteria as other students rushed out from there. Both of the tall boys stood there, scrutinizing each other not worrying of being late as they both had free period at that moment. Magnus closed their distance, taking big steps towards the other guy. Was it disappointment that he saw in the azure orbs or was it distress? He could not tell. He would never be able to tell anything from Alec. The other dark-haired was a riddle.

"Hey. What's wrong?" He asked lightly, not trying to sound as concerned as he was.

"Nothing's wrong." Alec answered yet his eyes lead astray things that Magnus could not deciphered. He let out a heavy sigh and flung out his long arms as he said to Alec,

"Look, I didn't confront Camille okay. At least not yet. I listened to your advice. Happy now?" Alec kept his face downcast so Magnus couldn't see his expression. Although after a while Alec did answer him back.

"Very. Very happy." It came out mumbled from Alec's mouth and Magnus thought that Alec was struck with another nausea that had been bothering him for the past few weeks. In reflex, Magnus grabbed his shoulders as if straightening him up when Alec was standing perfectly alright.

"What are you doing?" Alec asked as he looked incredulously at his friend. Magnus blinked a few times looking straight at Alec searching for a hint of sickness but the boy was fine. He let go of the other's shoulder and exhaled.

"For a moment I thought you were going to throw up again. You're not sick, are you?" He asked for who knows how many times. He'd been pestering Alec with worry and unease since the boy was under the weather and Alec thought he might die from over concern. Alec, still dazed from his thoughts answered exasperatedly,

"I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm off the me-" He abruptly stopped as the realization kicked in. He was talking to Magnus, not his sister.

"I'm perfectly well, Magnus. You don't have to worry." He took a few steps forward until he reached the cafeteria's door, holding on to the door as he turned around and told Magnus that,

"I need to go and see Mr. Phillip. I'll see you in class." Alec rushed off from sight. Magnus stay rooted where he was standing, unmoving. His mind was somehow confused at Alec's hanging sentence for he never knew about Alec's 'requirement'. Magnus let out a chuckle and absentmindedly sighed again as his thought,

_I will always worry about you, Alexander._


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 6! Have a fun time reading and a nice day all along! :)

Chapter 6

Part I: Accepting And Denying

The sound of sticks clashing could be heard from outside the training room's door. The members of the fencing team were having their regular practice except for the absent of their coach. Alec stood on the mat facing one of his junior. They had just ended a few rounds of sparring and Alec was about to evaluate him when the door sprung opened with a loud bang. Every heads in the room turned to one direction and saw a moving blur of golden sprinting in. Although some may still wonder who the figure was, Alec was already getting his speech ready.

"You're late, Jace. You know the rules." He said in an unnervingly tone and didn't miss the blonde's smirk at him. His back was still facing Jace when he talked which got out a few surprising looks from his teammates.

"On second thought, why not double it? Let this be a lesson to all of you." Alec said, his words flowed finely as the smirk on Jace's face disappeared at the thought of 1000 push-ups. The other students who were sniggering at the golden boy stood up straight at the sudden command.

"Enough with the distraction. Resume with your training!" Alec further exclaimed. He walked to the boy in front him and said,

"You're doing well. I won't be surprise if coach picks you as the next one in line when I graduate. Work hard." He encouraged and gave the slightly astounded student a warm smile.

"T-Thank you. I will do my best." The boy voiced. Practice was carried on as usual with Alec moving from groups to groups, inspecting the others and reprimanding what was lacking but he never once went to Jace. The blonde was sparring with another student-a senior as well whose name Alec could not recall. Although Jace was a late bloomer, it was obvious for all eyes to see that the blonde was better than the other. Alec couldn't help but curled his lips into a little smile.

Soon, the practice came to an end and the students were eagerly moving out from the training room. Most of them were. Alec had asked Jace to stay behind and wait for him to return from the washroom. As he sat tight, he suddenly heard voices coming from the corridor. Feeling anxious-as it was Jace after all-he inched closer to the door and poked his ear through the slight opening, listening or more like eavesdropping.

"Just because Alec said you were good doesn't mean you're  _that_  good. Look kid, if I ever hear you say things like that again, I swear I would-"

"Would what?" A familiar voice cut in. Jace couldn't take the anxiety any longer so he peered his eyes and saw Alec standing just a few steps away from the door, facing another two figures, a small boy who looked by the age of fifteen pinned to the wall and a bigger size guy hovering over him. Both pair of eyes was shocked to see the tall dark haired.

"Let him go, Clifford." Alec said calmly. The bigger sized guy-Clifford released his hands from the smaller boy's shoulder. Surprisingly, the boy didn't move.

"Go." Alec said to the boy. He gave a tiny nod as if to urge the boy to move and be gone from the scene. Once he vanished from view, Clifford looked at Alec with a challenging stare.

"You should leave now, Clifford." Alec remained composed as he ordered the younger guy.

"Or what? You're gonna report me to coach?" This Clifford guy spat back. Alec continued,

"I'm not going to report anything if you leave this instant."

Clifford took a step forward, a scowled carved on his expression as he spoke hoarsely,

"You can't order me Alec. Training time's over so I don't have to listen to you. Just because you're the coach's favourite you think you can do as you like?" The blue eyed was standing stoically that made Clifford suddenly hesitated with his insults.

"Done? Let me make it clear for you. That boy is good and he has skills some of us don't. If you think you are better than him, prove it to the coach and not by threatening him when he's defenseless. That's what cowards do." Alec words just made the boy angrier.

"Why you son of a-" Jace decided that he'd heard and seen enough so he stepped out from his hiding, his face serious. When Clifford saw him, he took a step back and the tension in his body slowly façade as he let out a laugh.

"I see you have back-ups. He's one of your kind, isn't he? Coach's pet. And I'm the coward one." He jeered while shaking his head mockingly. Alec looked over his shoulder and saw the blonde looking at him as well. The dark haired unknowingly let out a sigh.

Clifford made a move to walk away but before he left, he said this to Jace in a low tone,

"Don't think I don't know where you came from, Herondale. One mistake is all it takes to bring you down." Then Clifford turned around the corner and left with a sneer on his face.

Jace was shocked at the guy's words and he paled visibly. Alec turned to face him, his mouth moving to say something and Jace thought his heart was going stop when Alec talked.

"Let's go back in and spar, shall we?" The dark haired moved past him, not showing that he'd caught the look on Jace's face. The blonde trailed along from behind, still stunned from the event that had just occurred. He swallowed hardly when he saw that Alec was staring at him.

"You alright?" Alec asked. It sounded weird coming from him when usually it was Jace's query. The male in questioned nod his head swiftly before answering,

"Y-Yeah. Let's get started." And they both sparred. Jace was somehow still disturbed at the fact that someone else knew about his past and he was scared if the story got out and reached his friends. He wanted to tell them but he never got the chance. Clary was an exception although he did not know how to explain that. A hit from Alec brought him back to reality.

"Focus." Was his command. Jace regained his composure and did as he was told until he couldn't take his nerves anymore.

"Alec, wait. I need you to listen to what I'm about to tell you." The other guy held down his weapon and nodded.

"Okay. I'm listening."

"About what the guy said just now…it's….something….just-" He couldn't finish his sentence. Jace's head was too mixed up and he could not decide what was right at that moment. Finally, after a long torment of quietness Alec told him,

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. I won't make you say it and it won't change anything. Alright?" Jace searched Alec's eyes and all he saw was sincere.

"But don't you want to know?" He pressed on even though his heart screamed for him to stop. He wasn't ready for it. Or was he?

"Only if you want me to know." Alec answered. Jace took a moment before letting go of his weapon and moved forward. He sat down on the mat once he was near enough to Alec, his legs curled underneath him as Alec sat down as well. He took a deep breath and exhale slowly while the dark haired waited patiently.

"Where should I start?" Jace asked in a low voice, more to himself but Alec heard it.

"How about you tell me from the beginning? That'll be easier." Alec said jokingly, trying to cease the tension that hung in the air. Jace managed to let out a small chuckle at his friend.

"Okay then." Jace replied. "My mom has been suffering from asthma since I was 7. My father left when I was 13 so it was just me and her. We moved here and met Simon and his mother. Mine and his became friends and that's how me and Simon became 'chaos'. That's what they call us." A smile form on Jace's face as he reminisce all the trouble he'd got into with Simon. He proceed saying,

"My mom had been through several attacks from the past and one time it happened, I was alone with her. I didn't go to school that day because she was sick. When she started to feel weak or ill, I knew something was wrong. The day she got attacked, I couldn't ask for help. Simon was at school, his mom still at work and we had a car. I knew how to drive but I didn't have a licence. Out of sheer panic, I took out the keys and dragged my mom. I said "I'm taking you to the hospital." In her state, she didn't argue with me and that only made me even more worried. I couldn't think straight. I drove and it happened, the accident. Only then I wondered why didn't I just called the taxi and get us to the hospital. Stupid, I know. I spent two years in a Boy's Home. I got out and Simon got me in here."

He took a breath after the long explanation. "Well, that's about it." Jace turned his head so that he could see Alec's face. The blue eyed was staring back at him, his expression neutral.

"Who else knows about this?" Alec spoke in a low tone. He sounded sleepy to Jace.

"Only you and Clary. I guess I have to count Clifford too, huh." At one point, Alec closed his eyes.

"You two are seeing each other, right?" He asked.

"Yeah. Wait, how did you know?" Jace asked back, surprised at knowing that someone knew about their recent development in relationship. Alec grinned at Jace's respond.

"Izzy." Jace groaned. So much for trying to keep it a secret.

"Don't worry. We all would've known eventually even if you don't tell us." Alec further teased the blonde when he saw how Jace reacted. The golden boy groaned even more.

"I better get going. Magnus is waiting for me. See you, Jace." Alec said, standing up and brushing his wrinkled uniform. Jace got up as well and bid the other guy goodbye. He went to keep the weapons and then he walked over to the bench to retrieve his belongings. Only then he realized that Alec didn't comment anything on his past. In fact, Alec had brushed it off and stayed the same.

* * *

Magnus POV (Written by Alice W.)

I walked into Tony's Pizza Place and spotted them immediately, Alec, Izzy, Camille, Simon, Jace and Clary seated at table by a large window draped in velvet curtain. I ran my hands through my slightly dampened hair. The air-conditioned breeze seeped through my shirt and I could feel the prickly coolness against my skin. I walked towards the table and sat at an empty seat beside Camille.

"Sorry, I'm late," I said. "Couldn't find a parking spot." Everyone turned to me.

"Magnus, you're soaked," Camille said. Total overstatement.

"I'm alright," I said.

"I have a jacket of yours in my car." She got up swiftly and went out the back door.

"How is it that someone like you could forget your jacket?" Alec questioned, rubbing his chin.

I thought of a comeback but only ended up saying, "I'm only human."

"Can we order already?" Izzy asked.

Jace called the waiter and we ordered. From the window I could see the rain getting heavier in the darkness outside. I could hear my friends' voices around the table and also chatter from other tables in the restaurant.

Camille wasn't back yet so I decided to look for her. "Excuse me," I said.

I went outside and found the parking lot. I spotted Camille's car easily. It stands out from other automobiles around it. Camille was talking or more like arguing-she had a certain posture when she was angry-with a figure I didn't recognize but I'd bet my money it was the guy from the diner. I went back inside.

After dinner, Jace got a text from Woolsey Scott, inviting him to his party. I knew about this party, people have been talking about it for days. Jace and Simon seemed eager to go.

"It's been ages since I last been to a party," Jace said. I find that hard to believe. Jace didn't seem like the kind of guy who just sits at home, he's definitely the party type.

"Oh, really now?" Camille said, surprised.

"We should go," Simon said before Jace could reply. "This party is huge."

Clary and Izzy was all for it too. And if Izzy was going to this party which just spells trouble, I knew Alec was undoubtedly going too. I wasn't about to miss out on the fun. So we all agreed to meet up at Woolsey's.

Alec and I arrived at Woolsey's neighbourhood and I was fairly surprised at his crowded compound. Cars were parked all along the street. I had to park a hundred yards from Woolsey's house. Alec and I walked to the house and I spotted some expensive cars parked in front. I saw that Jace, Simon, Clary and Izzy were already waiting for us.

"Dude, there is  _so_  many people," Jace said, almost hopping on his feet. "This is awesome."

Simon laughed. "Let's get inside."

They trailed into the house blasting with music. Alec turned, "You coming?"

"Yeah. Go ahead. I'm gonna wait for Camille for a little bit," I told him. I had this weird feeling. Alec went inside. And I waited near the door, taking in my surrounding. There are a so many people outside, I imagine it's even more crowded inside. They all looked our age. I recognized some of them, faces I've seen a lot at parties before. They're from different schools. Woolsey invites kids from different schools, I guess that's why his parties are so popular and always bring about fights.

A group of guys made their way to the house. "Bane," one of them greeted me.

"What are you doing out here, man?" another guy asked.

"I don't think I'd fit in," I gestured towards the house. And I meant this literally, the house looked like it would explode.

"Drunk already?" He chuckled. "Woolsey's outdone himself this time. Cops are gonna be buzzing 'round this place soon." I don't doubt that.

Couple minutes later, I saw Camille and diner guy pacing on the curb. I went over.

"No, we were never anything," I heard Camille say.

"Come on, Camille. I know you want me," diner guy replied.

"I don't think so, Josh," she laughed. "I  _always_  know what I want and it's definitely not you. Look, we kissed once, it doesn't mean anything.  _You_ don't mean anything," she said simply.

He kept reaching for her and I think he's trying to kiss her.

"Stop," Camille said, pushing him away.

"Can't take rejection?" I stood next to them.

Camille turned to me, wide-eyed. "And who the hell do you think you are?" Josh asked loudly. " _This_ ," he motioned between him and Camille. "is none of your business."

"Oh, you have no idea how involved I am in  _this_ ," I said. Clearly, no one told this guy.

Right then, two guys came to his side, one of them had closely cropped hair and piercing on his lower lip while the other guy was huge.

Josh initiated a punch. I dodged in time and tackled him to the ground. Skinhead came behind me and lifted me off him. And I shoved him backwards against a fence. He grunted but still had an iron grip around me. I saw that Clary and Izzy got Camille to leave. The big guy stood in front of me, he swung his fist back and was about to deliver his blow. But then a fist came crashing to his jaw. Jace's. I wrestled out of Skinhead's arms. And Josh started to come at me. I went for his face. I saw Alec wrestling with Skinhead. I realized that we have an audience now. I punched-my knuckles getting raw-and blocked. As exhilarating as it feels, I was immediately put off by the idea that I was in the middle of tonight's imperative fight at  _Woolsey's_  party. Wonderful. Hastily, I shoved Josh towards Alec's opponent. They both crashed to the ground. I heard sirens, getting louder by the second. I see people scattering around the lawn, leaving. Party's over. Alec urged me to move. He grabbed Jace by the collar and hoisted him off the ape.

We ran down the street. I could hear the blaring sirens before begin to soften as we made our way down the street. We stopped far enough to catch our breath.

"That was fun," Jace boomed, panting. He was grinning from ear to ear. I could see that he was utterly thrilled and a little drunk.

I laughed.

"That was amazing! This is one of the best nights of my life. I haven't had that much fun since," he paused. "since forever," he finished, still grinning.

"Help me find out where those delinquents go and maybe we could do that again," I said, my expression mirroring his.

Alec shot me a look.

"Anytime," Jace said.

I play-punched Alec on his shoulder and said "Hey peace-loving Alec, I didn't know you have it in you."

"You're not hurt right?" he asked, glassy-eyed and a crease started to form between his eyebrows. He was pale too, as opposed to usual. The last time he looked like this was after the accident.

"Um, yeah..." I answered. I wanted to say something else-I wasn't sure what-something more reassuring maybe or ask if he was okay.

But Clary, Simon and Izzy ran toward us. Izzy hugged her brother. "Are you okay?" she asked him, looking at him full of concern.

"Yeah, don't worry" he said, offering her a smile. "We should clear out."

Clary, Jace and Simon left after saying goodbye.

I saw Camille walking over. "Oh my God! What were you thinking?" she shouted.

"What were  _you_ thinking?" I asked back.

"I was thinking, I wanted to humiliate him in front of the crowd that had conveniently gathered. Show him who I am," she said. Yeah, she's mean.

"What exactly did he do to deserve such reprimand?" I asked.

She didn't answer.

"Was it the thing that happened at the diner few days back?" I urged. "You remember right?" I crossed my arms.

Camille blinked. She looked like she was about to cry but I couldn't be certain because she looked away hastily. And walked quickly to her car.

"That did  _not_  just happen," Izzy said. She looked like she just watched a bad ending of a post-apocalyptic movie. "That wasn't how it was supposed to go down. She was supposed to explain it smoothly. We had a freaking script."

I snorted.

"You don't see it, do you?" She asked me. Then, looked at Alec like _is your friend for real?_ Alec shrugged.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Can't you take a hint?" she asked furiously.

"Oh yeah, 'cause she was dropping such obvious hints," I threw my hands up. "Like kissing that Josh fellow."

"It's her first time being in l-, you know" Izzy cleared her throat. "She's in-denial like that. She has a cold girl reputation to maintain."

"Sure. And I have a cool guy card to keep," I joked.

Izzy sighed. "You two are so vain," she said. "I'm going home. Good night, Alec." She gave Alec a peck on the cheek and turned to walk away.

"What, I don't get a good night kiss?" I asked her.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

I laughed and shook my head. Then I turned to Alec. "Go ahead. Say what you want to say," I said.

Alec's face turned red. "What? W-what do you mean? What do I want to say?" he let out a nervous laugh.

"Um, that I'm a coward because I wouldn't say the three words first?" I suggested.

"Oh," he said. "No, nope." He shook his head. He seemed a bit jumpy, maybe because of the adrenaline from the brawl.

"Right," I said. Then, we made our way to my car and went home too.

* * *

Jace POV

I got home that night and I couldn't help but feel alive once again. It had been a long time since I last had 'fun' although I have to admit some parts on my body was starting to ache. I slipped out from my clothing and got into the bath tub. The hot water eased some of the pain and I let out a hiss followed by a content sigh. I'm not really the kind that looks for trouble but if the trouble came to me, it was most of the time welcomed.

As I got out from my bathroom and put on my clothes, my phone rang. I flipped it open and smiled.

"Hey Clare-bear. To what do I owe this pleasure?" I said to my redhead.

"Shut up, Jace. I'm calling because I just want to know whether you're alright." She replied, distress. I was confused for a while before I get what she meant.

"You should check on the other guy. I bet he's worse." I joked.

"Seriously, Jace? Can you just please answer my question so I can go to bed already?" Clary said almost sounding furious but Jace knew she was only getting irritated.

"I'm fine Clary. That dude didn't stand a chance with me. You know that. Can you go to sleep now?" I asked.

I could hear her let out a sigh of relief before answering me,

"Good night, Jace."

"Sweet dreams Clary." I smiled and hung up.

After we met at the café for the second time, Clary confessed to me that she was feeling the same way as I did. I didn't waste my time and asked her out. She knew about the whole juvenile thing. I told her bits by bits of what happened that day whenever we had a date. She never got bored listening to me. When I was done talking, I would ask her about her life. She told me that her parents got a divorce when she was 11. Her father left with her brother, Jonathan. She stayed with her mother.

She met Izzy in middle school and they instantly became best friends. Clary often got invited by the Lightwoods to come and have sleepover with Izzy. She told me how the siblings always played with her. Whenever they played hide and seek, Alec would be it and he would search the whole house for them. Their little brother, Maxwell would also play along and he usually hides together with Clary or Izzy.

Clary never finished her story when she realized she had mentioned about Alec's younger brother to me. She never once again talked to me about them. That was as far as she'd slipped and I never bothered to ask her because I know it would only hurt her. I was curious about the whole thing that happened to the family and I knew that if I really wanted to find out, then I should ask Alec. It was only right to hear it from him. Maybe I could try during one of our practice. Even though I trained with the fencing team, Alec tended to hang back and spar with me a few rounds. I didn't know what it meant at first but after a few times, I finally understood what he was doing. Alec was trying to let me in by letting me see the other side of him that few of the others including Izzy and Magnus usually saw.

Through his moves and steps, I learned that he cares for those around him by being careful and vigilant. Through his hits and attacks, I observed that although he was being open, there were still some secrets in him and through his blue eyes I could see that the dull orbs weren't shining the way eyes were supposed to. There were scars left untreated to heal with time but I caught something else. It was small at first but I eventually grasped what it was; Alec was blaming himself all those times and nobody saw it. Nobody but me. The worst part was I didn't know how to help him. There was nothing I could do but to be by his side. If only it was as easy as it sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? If you noticed there's only one part in this chapter because the second part was too long for me to fit it together but don't worry, I'll make sure I update a lot more sooner and with sooner I mean in a couple of days. Do look forward and tell me what you think! :)


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here it is as promised. This is the last part of Magnus' POV written by the ever so amazing Alice Wednesday. Thank you dear. It would have been impossible without you. Many thanks to those who read For This Life.
> 
> Have fun reading and as always, have a nice day! :)

Chapter 7

Part I: Falling Into Embrace

"You did that on purpose. You left those two alone so that they can work it out and now you're kidnapping me to somewhere else." Alec stated. He glared at his sister who had her hands on the steering wheel, eyes focused on the road but he knew she heard him. Izzy lied when she told Magnus and Camille that they wouldn't be back until Sunday which was absurd since they still had school the next day.

"Come on, Alec. I'm not kidnapping you. I'm just…taking you somewhere else while Magnus and Camille kiss each other sorry." Alec cringed at that thought inwardly. He sighed and gave up. He was already buckled up in the seat anyway.

"Where are we going?" He asked, looking at the road that Izzy was taking. It was too familiar to his comfort.

"Home." She answered quietly. She quickly added,

"They're not at home. Just keep me company for a while and then I'll send you back." She turned to Alec for a second before looking out at the road again. Her hands unconsciously gripped the steering wheel tighter that her knuckles showed. She couldn't see Alec's expression because he was looking out the window. He sat quietly, his body still and Izzy thought that if it wasn't for the rise and fall of his chest, she looked like she was driving with a mannequin sitting beside her.

"Alec, say something." She prodded his elbow but he didn't move. After what seemed like centuries for Izzy, he spoke,

"His birthday is two weeks from now. What should we get him this year?" He was still facing the window and his body slumped in the seat. Alec's voice was calm.

"More manga books. Definitely. He would love that." Izzy uttered. Her voice, unlike her brother was wavering and she held back the tears that were forming from slipping past her eyelids.

"Yeah. He would love that." Alec said. The whole journey to their once-a-sweet-home was spent with Alec gazing out into space and Izzy driving while listening to the radio. Once she got into their garage, she could see Alec trying hard not to bolt away the moment she opened the front door. It was hard for her but it was painful for him.

"Why don't we sit down in his room and see which copy we haven't got him yet?" Izzy proposed. Alec gave a weak nod while Izzy closed the front door. He looked to his left and then right. A lot of things had been moved since he had last visit. No more of his trophies and pictures displayed around the living room and dining hall. He who used to be the pride of the family was disposed easily by his parents.

Izzy climbed the stairs while taking Alec's hand in hers as if guiding him up. He didn't protest though. The thought of walking around in their house after so long was making him feel jelly on the knees. The last time he'd been in the house was the night after Max's funeral. He'd grabbed his clothes and stuffed his things into a bag and stormed out from the house.

The sound of creaking was heard when Izzy pushed the bedroom's door opened. The room looked amazingly clean and neat. If Alec didn't know better he'd thought that Max was still alive and living but he knew it was either Izzy or their mom that had kept Max's room as the way it usually was. Although some of the essentials were missing; his comic books that used to be piled up beside his bed so that he could just reach out and read it anytime he wants were neatly arranged on the bookshelf including some newly added ones that they bought for his birthday last year, his bed that were usually unmade and messy were nicely covered by a sheet that had already been pressed and his glasses that used to be a part his daily wardrobe was lying on his desk coated with a layer of dust, the sign of not being wore by the owner for so long.

Alec had to suppress a sob as his mind pictured Max lying on his stomach on the bed with a book in his hands and legs dangling on the bedpost, looking up and smiling at them as they entered. He quickly shoved away the image when Izzy turned around and looked at him but he knew it was too late to control his facial expression. His sister gave him a sad smile and he went to the small size bed and sat near the end.

"Father and mother had an argument a few nights before." Izzy broke the silence. "Father wanted to get rid of all…this but mother won't allow him. He hit her." Izzy weakly voiced the incident that occurred between Robert and Maryse. She sat down as well on the other side of the bed. Alec pulled her over and they both lied down facing each other on the small bed. Izzy had her arms neatly tucked under her chin while Alec was caressing her black hair gently.

"He's changed, Alec." Her voice broke at his name. "He got too consumed by his grief that he'd forgotten the rest of his family." By then, Izzy was crying. Streams of tears were falling down her face and Alec didn't do or say anything to make it stop. He let her cried as he wrapped his arms around her and kept his hold on her firm and solid. He held his sister like nothing could break them apart.

After a while, she calmed down. Izzy look up into her brother's face. Her lips moved when she said,

"Please come home. I can't do this alone." Alec closed his eyes and held out a shaky breath.

"I'm scared, Alec. I don't know what to do." She murmured in his chest but he could hear her just fine.

"Sleep. I'll be right here." Alec said as he stroked her ebony hair lovingly. Sunset had long gone as there were no light rays that usually passed through the curtains. Both of the figures stayed there in each other arms. Alec watched as his sister fell asleep and a few minutes later, he followed suit as well.

* * *

Magnus POV (Written by Alice W.)

She was in my apartment and standing by the wide window with a classic view overlooking New York City. She was wearing a black leather jacket with a sheer white shirt underneath and skinny jeans that fit her a little too perfectly. Her hair was up, her loose curls just touching the nape of her neck. She looked chimerical in the moonlit living room and with the lights from the sleepless metropolis outside illuminating her immaculate features. This would have been the most ordinary sight for me. But after what happened the last few days, I was in awe of her presence.

I walked in her direction and stopped at a distance from her so she doesn't have to crane her neck when she looks at me. She was staring out the window blankly, she seemed to be lost in her own train of thoughts. Shoving my hands into my pockets I said, "Camille."

She gasped ever so slightly at the sound of my voice. She turned to face me, her lips slightly parted. She looked as calm as ever. Her breathing so regulated you would think she wasn't even breathing if you've never been close enough to hear her heartbeats. She didn't have any bad habits when she's nervous. There is nothing that she does which betrays her emotions. Nothing, except her eyes, I think. I always see a storm of emotions flashing in and out of those emerald eyes, emotions, that until this day I am still incapable of fully understanding sometimes.

"You wanted to see me?" I inquired. It was quiet inside my apartment. No neighbors to bother me with loud, blasting music. I could only hear the faint hustle and bustle of the city on a Thursday night outside. When she didn't respond, I spoke again, "Camille, I feel like I'm talking to a ghost. You're already as white as one."

"I was just-you-you weren't at school today," she stuttered. She sounded a little nervous, she's almost never nervous. It was fun to watch.

"No, I wasn't. I was with Alec, I was helping him sort out some matters."

"Right, okay. I was just checking up on you to see how you're doing."

"Oh, I'm good. As always," I smiled.

She hesitated for just a moment before asking, "How's your hand?"

"It's pretty alright, actually," I raised my right hand, clenching and unclenching my fist. Then, letting it drop to my side. "It's a little bruised but other than that, it's perfect."

She eyed my fists skeptically. Staring at my knuckles for what feels like forever. Silence had taken over our conversation.

I leaned my back against the cold wall beside the window, I was left looking at her profile. Crossing my arms over my chest. "Were you worried about me?" I asked.

Her sudden intake of breath tells me my question had taken her by surprise. Tucking stray hair behind her ears, she said calmly, "Yes, Magnus. I was worried about you." She took in a deep breath before continuing. "Because the last time we saw each other...," she trailed off. "Well, it wasn't a fond memory of mine. I wanted to make sure you were okay. That we were okay." She said this last bit so quietly I had to strain my ears to catch her words.

And again, there was more silence. I had no idea what to say to that. We had never been upfront with each other before. Indeed, we'd had problems in the past. There were other people in our lives. Guys that Camille bat her eyelashes at to get them to do her a favor, guys she was extra friendly with just because she thinks they're cute. People paid attention to her and she likes that. She likes to be adored. Some girls try to get my attention too, but Camille always manages to scare them away. She doesn't like it on the flip side it seems. But with any problems we had, we deal with them how we always deal with them, we let time consume them. We never discuss our issues or try to fix anything about each other. We were always drifting apart and then drifting back together. But this time, it isn't like that. I feel something different, she acted differently.

"You have to know. That he doesn't mean anything to me. That I have no feelings for him. He was just a distraction," she said.

I rest my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. Her voice, I thought, was such a pleasant sound. I liked hearing her talk.

"Don't ignore me, Magnus. You know I don't like that."

I tried to stifle a laugh as I opened my eyes to see her frowning. Even when she's apologizing, as far as apologizing goes for Camille, she's peevish. I cleared my throat, "I wasn't ignoring you. I'm contemplating my choices."

"And?" she asked impatiently.

I pushed myself off the wall. Stretching my arms over my head while I walked towards my bedroom.

" _Magnus_ ," her voice rose with a hint of annoyance.

I heard her footsteps growing louder behind me. I turned around abruptly and she accidentally bumped into my chest. She got me off balanced, nearly toppling us both to the ground. "Whoa, a little too soon for that, don't you think?" I held her by the shoulders to steady her.

She grunted but didn't push me away. She looked up at me, still waiting for me to answer.

"See you at school," I said, kissing the top of her head.

"What? You're not gonna send me home?" she asked. "I came here with Izzy, remember? Then, she went out with Alec. They won't be back 'till  _Sunday_."

"I'm really tired," I yawned. "And injured," I raised my right hand. A look of guilt spread across her face. I cleared my throat and quickly said, "You can take my car." I cocked my head towards the wall which holds my keys. "But you have to pick me up for school tomorrow."

She frowned.

"Or," I added. "You can spend the night here," I wiggled my eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes and said, "I'll call Walker to come get me."

"Oh, right," I exclaimed. "You have a chauffeur!"

She narrowed her eyes at me while she fished her phone from her jacket. After calling Walker, she proceeded to the door. Turning around to blow me a kiss on her way out.

As her delicate hand curled around the knob and turned it, I asked, "A distraction from what, exactly?"

Her movements came to a halt. She looked at me and smiled, her lips crimson. "Nothing you should concern yourself with," she tried to sound nonchalant, but I could hear her voice crack just hardly. She swung the door open swiftly and let it slam shut behind her.

I sighed. She's avoiding again. She wouldn't tell me how she truly feels, the real reason for her actions. Even though I already know it, I want to hear her tell me herself. I  _need_ her to tell me herself. Why is she denying her feelings? I ran a hand through my hair. But then again, why am  _I_  denying my feelings?

Part II: Out Of Place

Alec could not tell how long he'd been sleeping but the ambience in the room told him that it was already night time. He slowly opened his eyes and he could see light coming from the small opening of the door. Izzy wasn't by his side, he noticed. He got up and walked over to the door. To his dismay, he heard the two voices that he'd wanted to avoid badly. He listened as he ambled to the stairs. His sister was with them as well.

"Why did you bring him here? He doesn't belong here! This is not a place for a murderer!" Robert's voice boomed through the house. Alec wasn't at all affected by those words that he'd heard so many times before he ran away to Magnus. He didn't even flinch. He could hear his mother sniffling and his sister shouted back at Robert.

"He is your son! He's my brother and he belongs in this house."

He noted mentally that Izzy didn't oppose him to being called murderer. He didn't blame her. Alec got down a few steps and peeked. He could see his sister facing Robert who had his hands on his hips, the way he always did whenever he gave them a lecture except for this time, Alec noticed something too bright in Robert's eyes; rage. Maryse meanwhile was sitting on the couch and she looked bewildered. For the first time Alec heard her said,

"Just let him be, Robert."

" _Let him be_?! No. This is my house and I want him out this instant!" He said every word with venom and his voice echoed. Alec knew he needed to get out but he didn't want to leave his sister in that situation.

"No." Izzy countered firmly. Alec could hear her voice shaking and she fisted her hands. Alec quickly got down the remaining steps when he saw Robert moving closer towards his sister and his right hand raise, aiming for the girl's face.

_Smack!_

Alec's head swung to the left as the slap sounded throughout the room. His cheek began to turn red but he didn't show any emotion as he looked at the man he once called father in the eyes. He'd intercepted the blow meant for his sister as he rushed in between the two.

"Alexander…" Maryse weakly gasped. She had been too stunned by the whole situation to say more. Izzy's eyes widened in shocked and she held her brother's elbow as if to support herself but it was more like an assurance for her that Alec was alright. Robert on the other hand was not entirely shocked at what just happened.

"Get out." He harshly said after all the silence.

"I'm leaving." Alec answered calmly. He walked to the door and got out but not after a few steps he heard Izzy calling his name.

"Alec! Wait." He turned around and before Izzy could say anything, he spoke,

"Pack your things, Izzy. You're coming with me to Magnus." Izzy didn't waste a second and obeyed. Alec could hear noises from the inside and he hoped that they could just leave in peace. After a short minute, Izzy emerged with a bag in her hand and another on her back. Alec grabbed the one in her hand and took her other hand in his left unquestioningly. They walked passed the streets and off to Magnus's apartment, oblivious to the rain that was about to fall.

* * *

To say Magnus was surprised was totally an understatement. The sight of two very drenched and soaked figures standing in front of his apartment was something that doesn't happened in every full moon. Although the look on both the Lightwoods' siblings reminded him of the night Alec arrived on the doorstep of his apartment's building for the very first time. He didn't fuss much, he stepped aside and let the two walked in and settled themselves in his warm crib.

"I'll get some hot drinks for you two. You look like you really need it." Magnus registered the siblings when he saw that they were shivering. The sister was a little bit pale while her brother looked flushed on one side of the cheek, Magnus took note.

"Thanks, Magnus." Izzy said a little too shy and quiet.

"No big deal." Magnus shrugged but gave the girl a smile nonetheless. "I'm making one for myself anyway. Meanwhile Alexander, why don't you lead Izzy to the guest room? You two seriously need to get out of those clothes." He said walking to the kitchen.

"Okay. Let me know when you're done." Alec said to Magnus. He then gestured to Izzy to follow him to one of the guest room. He set her things down on the bed and studied her for a moment. Izzy looked shaken but probably due to the rain. After a moment, Alec spoke to her softly,

"Get changed. I'll wait for you in the kitchen." She meekly nodded. Alec gave her some space to calm down and left the room. He entered his own room and locked the door before sitting on the floor and leaning on his bedside; his legs stretched in front him. He got out his phone and made a call. Alec waited for the other person to answer. He heard a soft clicked and a voice whispered his name.

"Alexander?" Maryse quietly asked. Alec gave his mother a few seconds before he answered.

"Is he there?" Alec asked.

Maryse on the other end looked towards the door and subconsciously shook her head when she realized that her action could not be seen. "No. I'm in your brother's room. Alexan-" She was cut off by Alec when he said,

"Izzy's staying with me. She wouldn't want to go back and I suggest you do the same. I know what he did to you. Once you solve it with him, you can come and get Izzy. I'll give you the address." He explained. Maryse took in all his words.

"Alexander, yo-"

"Don't call me that." Alec said a little bit too harsh.

"I'm sorry." Maryse said. "Alec, once we're officially divorced I'm moving to Australia and I'm taking your sister with me."

"Okay." Alec spoke casually.

"Would you like to go with me as well?" His mother asked but instead of answering, he asked back,

"What about the house? He gets to keep it?"

"The house is under my name. I don't know about him but I think he'll be going somewhere in Europe to do his business stuff." Maryse voiced. "I'm not selling the house." She added. Alec thought for a moment before he said,

"That's all then. Call me when you're all settled." Alec was about to hung up when he heard his mother called his name once again.

"Alec." He didn't say anything as he waited for Maryse to continue.

"Alec, are you still there?" She asked.

He sighed and said,

"Yeah. I'm right here."

"Alec. I'm sorry." She sadly uttered. He knew he should say something but he ended the conversation. He placed his phone on the bed and walked out to the bathroom right across his bedroom. Fortunately, nobody heard him entered and locked the door.

He opened the cabinet mirror and took out a small bottle right at the back of every other thing in the cabinet. He sighed heavily, pondering his action. He really needed the distraction and he was tired of all the thinking. So without hesitation, he swallowed two tablets dryly. After he was done, he walked to the kitchen.

Izzy was in her pyjamas, sitting on a chair near the counter while her hands wrapped around a red mug. She was talking with Magnus who were sitting opposite her. Both of them hadn't realized Alec's presence. He just stood where he was and listened to their conversation.

"So how did it go? You two managed to straighten things out?" Izzy asked. Alec guessed that Magnus had nodded because he didn't hear his answer.

"And? Come on, Magnus. You can't expect me to always know everything." Izzy whined. She sounded like her usual self and Alec was grateful for that.

"Don't worry." Magnus spoke. "You'll be able to guess. Although I should add that things aren't going to be the way it used to." Izzy frowned.

"But still." She commented. "You know she was starting to like you.  _Liked_  you, liked you." Magnus chuckled at that.

"What are we, twelve? I never heard she said that to me…"

Alec heard a soft slap coming from the two and he mentally visualized Izzy slapping Magnus's arm.

"This is serious." She stressed. At that, Alec tried to maintain his posture as he entered the kitchen. He sat down next to his sister and gave her a warm smile. She returned it.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Magnus questioned while eyeing Alec's still wet form. "You haven't changed your clothes, Alec." Izzy continued. He smiled his lopsided smile at them and grabbed the only mug that wasn't in anyone's hands. The two quirked an eyebrow at the blue eyed as he sipped the hot drink. When Alec looked up, he caught something in Magnus's eyes. He looked to his right and stared at his sister instead, not meeting the other guy's eyes.

"Why don't you go to bed early tonight? It's been a long day and we have school tomorrow." Alec suggested to Izzy in a brotherly tone. He didn't think it was the right timing for her to know about Maryse's plans so he didn't say anything. He would find some other time to break the news to her.

Izzy on the other hand thought that his brother might have something to discuss with Magnus now that she's living with them. She didn't really think of how long she would be staying there nor did she care. Izzy knew it was wrong to leave her mother alone with her father but she was scared as well. Looking at her brother sitting merely a few inches from her made her feel safe and secure.

"Okay. Good night, Alec." Izzy said as she got up from her chair and gave her brother a kiss on his cheek. She made to turn straight to her room but she walked over to Magnus and stood by his side and said,

"Thanks, Magnus. Er…for the drink." She stuttered but got on her tiptoes and gave him a peck on his cheek as well. He blinked, never before seeing that attitude from Izzy but he smiled when she walked away. Both of the males watched as Izzy entered the room and closed the door behind her. They heard a soft click and Alec turned his head facing Magnus.

"So, do I have the grace to know what happened or should I just check your house's security camera?" Magnus grinned jokingly. The other dark haired had his eyes trained on the counter's top as he spoke,

"You're going to break up with her, aren't you?" That totally took Magnus by surprised. But he answered it anyway.

"I think it would the best for both of us." Magnus was half whispering and half talking. He glanced at Alec, noticing his head was still down. "She won't admit her feelings for me and I can't wait for her when I know she'll repeat the same mistake. It'll hurt her more than it'll hurt me." Magnus proceeded.

"And what makes you say that?" Alec asked, this time moving his head upward a little bit but still not meeting Magnus's gaze.

"Because I have you to treat my wounds." Magnus mockingly pout and added a sweet tone at the end of his sentence. This made Alec chuckled a little bit before he retained his previous manner.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you first before bringing Izzy here. It was kind of a haste decision." Alec uttered. "There was a small argument and Robert almost crossed the line." Alec finished. What took him out of surprise was when he felt smooth fingers reaching under his chin and pulling his face so that he was looking at the other person's face. Magnus examined Alec closely, not perceiving the look in Alec's blue orbs.

"He  _did_  cross the line." Magnus said when saw the red tint that was turning purplish blue on Alec's cheek. "You've got a bruise there." He said, letting go of Alec's chin.

"He was going to hit Izzy, not me." Alec muttered. A sudden tranquillity settled between them. Magnus didn't know what else to say and Alec kept his peace. They sat there, listening to the sound of rain that hit the windows, matching their rhythms with each fall. The ticking sound of the clock on the wall brought Magnus back to reality.

"It's late. We should get some sleep if we don't want to be late tomorrow." Said Magnus. He grabbed all the empty mugs and dumped them into the sink. Alec got up from his chair and walked towards him bedroom. Well, more like staggering when Magnus noticed this. He also noticed that Alec was apparently swaying and he had to grab the wall to straighten himself. He hadn't moved quite far, it was only after a few steps that his world seemed to spin awfully.

Magnus followed him carefully from behind. He was watching every step that the other black haired took and that's why when Alec's legs failed him; Magnus's arms were already locked around his waist.

"Alec..."

The taller of the two was quite stunned when Alec didn't move or respond. He stayed motionless as Magnus expertly moved him and put his arm on Alec's back and the other under his knees, carrying him to his room like he'd done so many times before.

He laid Alec's still form on the bed gently, brushing off Alec's damp ebony that covered his suddenly pale face when he remembered that Alec hadn't changed his clothes. He stripped the other boy, leaving him only in his underwear and covered him with the blanket. Magnus checked for Alec's temperature and took note of the slight heat that he felt from Alec's forehead. He shook his head, a sign of concern knowing that tomorrow would be a tough day for Alec as he closed the door and walked to his own room. The situation was almost too common for Magnus that when he lied down on his bed, sleep welcomed him almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think! :)


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 8! Enjoy reading and have a fabulous day. :)

Chapter 8

Part I: Trying To Cope

The next morning when Magnus woke up, another unfamiliar sight greeted him as he walked to the kitchen, all ready for school. The two Lightwoods were casually having breakfast in their uniforms and they were too immersed in their conversation that Magnus was only notable when he made a sound of clearing his throat. Both the dark haired turned simultaneously and Magnus could clearly make out the resemblance on both siblings if it weren't for the different eye colour.

"Good morning, Magnus." Izzy chimed joyfully. She shoved a plate of scrambled eggs in front of Magnus and poured a cup of coffee for him. "Here you go."

"You made all this?" Asked Magnus. Izzy shook her head and instead pointed at her brother. Alec was sipping a cup of coffee as well. He looked a little bit pale and flushed but there was no sign of sickness visible on his face, not yet Magnus thought.

"Had a good sleep last night?" Magnus purposely asked Alec and watched as his smile changed to a frown and back to a smile once again, missed by Izzy.

"Yeah." Alec lied. The fact that he was thrashing in his sleep last night and woke up drenched from cold sweat was proof that he had a fitful night, not to mention that he didn't remember taking off his clothes or even got to his room. He'll be having a long talk with Magnus once the latter had a chance. Alec was grateful Izzy was there at the moment. He didn't really feel like facing Magnus's wrath early in the morning.

"So, when are you going to tell her?" Izzy suddenly asked. She was looking at Magnus who was downing his breakfast. He seemed to be very hungry for someone lean. Alec didn't really get the topic but Magnus's answer confirmed his prediction.

"After school. I don't want Camille to get distracted." The word distracted doesn't really fit Camille, Alec thought. Izzy nodded her head in slow motion and said,

"Right. Dumping a girl right before weekend is a really great idea." She said sarcastically. Izzy was evidently opposing the break up but Magnus didn't say anything, he just smiled and kept his gaze on his blue eyed.

After breakfast was done, the three walked out from Magnus's apartment and waited for the elevator to come up. Suddenly, Izzy gasped.

"I forgot something in the room! I'll be right back." She rushed in back, leaving her brother alone with a very agitated and annoyed mortal. The instant Izzy was out of sight Magnus grabbed Alec by the wrist and pinned him on the wall next to the elevator. The other guy knew it was pointless to argue.

Magnus didn't expect Alec to relent his action but he didn't let go of his grip. He saw the tint of flush and the bruise that was somewhat fading but still there if you look close enough.

"How are you feeling?" Magnus asked softly, his face too close for Alec's liking. He didn't answer the other guy, his lips were tightly pressed together. Magnus brought his other hand up and felt Alec's forehead.

"Your fever is gone. Let me know if you're feeling worse and I'll take you back here." He said, ignoring the fact at the back of his head that he'd almost said home. Alec kept his quiet and turned his head away from the taller one. Magnus leaned in and brushed his thumb on Alec's cheekbone, tracing the bruise and felt Alec's heartbeat stuttered under his grip on the other boy's wrist, thinking that he'd hurt him.

"You didn't cover it." Magnus continued. Alec opened his mouth to say something.

"Magnus, you don-"

"Got it!" Izzy shouted as she closed the door behind her. She looked towards the two and frowned. Magnus knew that their position would trigger some assumption so he let go of Alec. The situation would have been awkward if the elevator didn't arrive at that point and Alec got in as soon as it opened.

"What was that all about?" Izzy whispered to Magnus since her brother was overly interested with the elevator's button. Magnus gave her a wink and slyly said

"Nothing", leaving the girl baffled even more. The elevator went down to the basement. They got into Magnus's Cadillac and he drove to Institute High.

* * *

Jace roughly pushed the lab's door opened and loudly spoke,

"I need to see Alec Lightwood immediately!" The quietness in the class was broken by the blonde as he replaced it with a dead silent. The professor that stood in front of the class looked somewhat bemused by the sudden intrusion.

"Young man, do you know what your mistake is?" The professor eyed him. Jace gulped before saying,

"Excuse me, professor. May I see Alec Lightwood for a moment, please?" He repeated his sentences with much more manner and attitude. The professor nodded in approval and looked over at Alec who was seated far behind the lab.

"Mr. Lightwood." The professor motioned to the door. "Make it quick." He added as Alec walked passed him and out from the lab. The professor closed the door with a little too much force, obviously annoyed with the disturbance.

"What is it?" Alec asked Jace. The other guy grabbed his shoulder instead and pulled him away from the class and into the boy's washroom.

"What's wrong, Jace?" Alec asked again although there were no sign of trouble on the blonde's face.

"I need your help." He finally said. "I don't know what to get her."

Alec was confused. "What?"

"Clary. It's her birthday soon."

Of course it was. Trust Jace if you wanted to be dragged out in the middle of the lesson for some 'life threatening' problems. Alec glowered at him.

"Seriously Jace? That's your excuse for dragging me out from class?" Alec said irritably. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hit you right now."

In a swift movement, Jace had Alec in a headlock position. The other guy was disorientated for a moment before he realized what just happened.

"What on earth are you thinking you're doing?!" Alec chocked as his oxygen supply was cut short.

"Shhh…" Jace shushed him and released his grip on Alec once the other was still. He moved to one of the cubicle and gave it a push; it was locked.

"What is it?" Alec whispered as he got to Jace's side.

"I think I heard something." Jace said back in a low tone. "It sounded like…" And a soft sound came from within the cubicle. It was a pained moan and then quickly replaced with sniffling. Jace and Alec looked at each other, both wearing a questioning look on their faces. Jace unconsciously knocked on the door and asked,

"Who's in there?" Alec reached out to stop Jace but it was too late. He didn't think it was appropriate to disturb someone especially when they're taking care of their need. He sent a disapproved look at Jace and shook his head. The other guy just shrugged.

"Are you alright?" Jace asked again to the person in the cubicle. A small voice answered,

"I'm fine." It sounded like a young boy and they assumed it must be one of their juniors. They heard the toilet flushed and the door opened to reveal a smaller figure, about three inches shorter than Jace. The older guys were shocked and surprised at the boy's appearance. His face was very pale, his lips shaking and his eyes were drowsy-like rimmed with tear stained. He was trembling as his hands clutch his stomach too tightly. It was obvious the kid was in pain but Alec was even more surprised when he recognized the boy.

"Nathan?" He was one of the members in fencing team and the boy that he saved from being bullied by Clifford the other week.

"Alec…" The boy weakly wheezed before falling to the ground. Luckily, Jace was fast enough to grab the boy by the shoulder.

"What the-" Jace said as he was shocked with the situation. Alec remained transfixed for a few seconds as he watched the blonde laid the boy down on the floor. Alec wanted to tell Jace that it wasn't hygienic to do so but his body seemed frozen and he couldn't react until Jace said,

"Alec, go get coach or any teacher. Just…I'll wait here." Jace was bewildered as well and he struggled to get his speech right. He watched as Alec ran out from the washroom and left him alone with the unconscious boy on the floor.

Alec ran as fast as he could to the staff room. He'd thought of getting his coach but a foreboding feeling struck him so instead he went to find the discipline teacher, Mr. Park.

Everything seemed to happen so fast, like a mist that faded in a blur. The boy was taken to the hospital and the two seniors that found him were brought as well. They waited anxiously in the waiting hall for the principal, as they were told he would be coming to check on the boy and his family and to interrogate Jace and Alec of what had happened. They didn't say much, they'd just found him in the toilet and then he collapsed.

After the talk with the principal, Alec and Jace sat back in the hall waiting for their transport to arrive. Jace had called Simon instead of his mother because he couldn't find any other way to tell her to pick him up from the hospital without giving her a shock. Alec meanwhile was just thinking of walking back to Magnus's apartment when a small voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Are you Alec?" He saw a small boy standing in front of him, looking no less than eight years old playing with the hem of his plaid shirt.

"I am." Alec simply said.

"I'm Nick." The boy introduced himself. He was looking back and forth between Alec's face and the floor. "Nathan's my brother." He continued.

Alec was loss with words because he stayed silent for a while, not knowing what he should do or say. At last, he said,

"How's Nathan?" The boy looked up then and gave Alec a smile; a very sweet smile that seemed to fit his face perfectly. Alec once knew that kind of smile. It'd been some time since he last saw it.

"The doctor said he'll be fine. He needed some rest and he'll be here for a while." The boy answered. "He asked me to tell you that he says thank you. He's not allowed to move yet and you're not a family member so you can't go in." His smile turned a little sad. Alec quickly shook his head and said,

"That's fine. You tell Nathan to get well soon, alright?" The boy nodded his head enthusiastically which caused Alec to unconsciously smile at him. Nick then ran off to his brother's room down the hall. Before he completely went inside, he turned his head to the older guy's direction and gave another smile. His eyes were smiling as well and that made Alec's heart broke a little. He returned it, not noticing that it looked more like a grimace.

Jace, who was sitting next to him the whole time finally intercepted by asking,

"Are you alright?" Jace noticed the violet blush on Alec's cheek but he didn't say anything about it. Alec sighed. He leaned back into the chair which was too small for his tall frame. He quietly said to Jace,

"My brother died when he was nine." Time seemed to stop and the air seemed to have frozen because nobody could tell how hard it was for Jace to breath. It was unexpected. Is this really happening? He questioned himself. He'd been waiting for Alec to open up to him and now that the time had come, he was finding it difficult for him to concentrate and listen. But listen he did.

"He got hit by a car and knocked his head on the fence. It was immediate. I called for him but he never answered me back…" Alec's voice was trying hard not to break. "I saw him walking on the sidewalk. He was too small, too skinny that people didn't notice him. He got pushed over to the road and that's when the car came. I was there. I remember everything…but I didn't do anything to save him." Alec turned his head and looked up and Jace.

"I left him, Jace. If I didn't leave him, it wouldn't have happened…"

"It wasn't your fault." Jace quietly voiced although he was confused for a moment. Left him? He wrapped his arm around Alec's shoulder, feeling the tremble from the other guy's body. He was surprised when he heard the words that Alec uttered.

"You see, that's where you're wrong." He leaned further to the chair and Jace had to release his arm. "It was my fault."

Jace didn't say anything after that. He let the conversation died and left Alec to his own muse. It took some time for Jace to receive every part that Alec had told him. He couldn't help but felt a little uneasy after knowing the truth. He shook his head, trying to throw away the bad thoughts that occurred in his mind when he felt a sudden weight rested on his shoulder. He looked to his side and saw that the dark haired had fallen asleep and his head tilted on his shoulder. Jace leaned back as well so that Alec would not feel uncomfortable and they both sat there, waiting for the time to pass.

Part II: Holding On To Something

Alec tried to be as quiet as possible when he opened the door. He didn't know what time it was but he knew it was late. Unknown to him, two figures were sitting on the couch in the living room, lit with only the small amount of light from the table lamp on the coffee table, waiting for his arrival. When he turned after locking the door, his eyes widened.

Izzy and Magnus were both staring at him, legs crossed. They certainly looked like they were ganging up on him. Magnus was the first one to speak.

"You might want to think before coming up with a lie." Then Izzy continued,

"Simon told me that Jace had been home hours ago." Alec sighed. Both pair of eyes, black and yellowish-green was narrowed at him. Alec slowly approached them and sat on the opposite couch, contemplating his choice of words.

"Why didn't you call for me? Or Izzy?" Magnus suddenly asked. He looked worried although he was struggling to look irritated at the blue eyed.

"Where did you go, Alec?" It was Izzy's turn to question. She obviously wasn't trying to hide the ire in her tone. Alec wondered when have he started to give in to her.

"I didn't bring you here just so you could team up with Magnus on me whenever you got the chance." Alec said to Izzy. He was trying hard not to look at Magnus. They didn't say anything back. They were waiting for answers.

Alec let out a tired sigh and slumped in the couch. These actions seemed to have an effect on the two as they soften their body postures. Alec took a moment before answering them.

"I went to meet someone and I didn't call because that person gave me a ride home." Alec closed his eyes.

"Don't ignore us, Alec." Izzy said. He glanced at them with one eye.

"I'm not ignoring you. I've answered both of your questions and I'm waiting for the next attack." He said grinning. He didn't miss the exchange of look that Izzy and Magnus shared.

"Who did  _you_  meet, Alec?" Magnus asked.

"Maryse." He answered again, simply. That one name was enough to get Izzy's attention, although her focus had been on her brother entirely.

"What did you talk about? How is she? Why didn't you take me as well?" Izzy fired question after question at Alec who was prepared for it.

"She's fine." He said. "Izzy, they're getting a divorce."

Izzy nodded weakly, too surprised to say anything. She did assume they weren't going to stay together that way but divorce? That was out of her thought.

"He's leaving for Europe." Alec continued. He waited for her to say something about Robert but instead she asked,

"What about mother?"

"She's keeping the house. But she's moving somewhere else." Alec looked at Izzy, carefully scanning her expression when he said,

"She's taking you to Australia." Izzy's head shot up, eyes widened at the information.

"No. I don't want to. I'm staying with you." She sounded eager, desperate wasn't really a word for Izzy. She was never desperate.

Alec smiled at her. "I'm not forcing you. You can go if you want. She let you choose."

Izzy let out a relief sigh and looked on the floor.

"We can go back to the house, Alec." She said quietly. Izzy's head was still down.

"Yeah." Alec's answer surprised both Izzy and Magnus. She got up and crossed the distance between them before flinging her arms around Alec, giving him a hug. He returned it. When they broke apart, Alec's eyes shot to Magnus who were staring at him. Izzy pulled away and said,

"I'm calling Simon." Then, she rushed back into the room that she occupied and closed the door.

Magnus didn't talk for a while; he kept his gaze on Alec, scrutinizing him with that what-am-I-suppose-to-do-with-you look. After the whole silence, Magnus spoke.

"How are you feeling?" Above all other things, Magnus thought he should repeat his question that morning. Alec wasn't looking pale anymore, he looked tired.

"I'm fine, Magnus." Alec answered. He avoided looking directly at Magnus. He was diverting his attention from the couch to the lamp to the clock on the wall and even to refrigerator. He looked everywhere except at Magnus. Then suddenly, his eyes shifted back to the male sitting in front him when he heard him asked,

"Are you going back to that house?" Alec shook his head.

"You know I can't." Magnus knew that. He'd just wanted to confirm Alec's words.

"Then what about Izzy?" Magnus asked.

"She's going with Maryse." Alec said in a tone that called no space for argument. Magnus didn't ask further after that. He knew when to stop.

"What's that in your hand?" Alec looked down at his hand. It was a brown envelope.

"Nothing." He answered and then got up. He walked to his room, leaving Magnus alone on the couch. Before he entered, he stole a glance at Magnus and took in the back view of his head. He knew there was a lot more to be said but he didn't feel like talking.

He got in and closed the door behind him. He looked at the file that Maryse gave him, not thinking much before keeping it in his drawer. His mind brought him back to their conversation.

_"You didn't seem surprised when I told you that we are divorcing." Maryse looked at her eldest and only son. Alec shrugged and replied,_

_"I guess I've always knew that. After what happened to Max." They loved him so much._

_Maryse tried to take Alec's hand in hers but he pulled away quickly. "Alexander, I'm sorry."_

_"Don't. Just don't." Alec said, gritting his teeth. He was trying hard not to snap at his mother. Maryse sighed, defeated. Alec tried to bring up another topic but he couldn't think of any. Thankfully, Maryse spoke first._

_"I need you to keep something for me. Would you do that?" Alec looked at her._

_"What is it?" He asked back. She handed him a brown envelope the size of an A4 and saw a court's stamp on it._

_"This is Max's file case. We sued the person that hit him after you left. The driver was underage and he'd been sent to the juvenile." Maryse took a breath before proceeding. "I can't take it with me and I don't want to leave it in the house in case something happens."_

_She handed the file to Alec. He took it and said,_

_"Okay." Maryse spoke again,_

_"Are you coming with me? I'm going after you two have your final exam. I can wait for your graduation if you want." Alec calmly answered,_

_"I'm staying here. You might want to try and talk things out with Izzy before you take her there. She needs a little persuasion. Australia is not a five hours drive." He got up and left._

Two years ago, he wouldn't think that he'd have the courage to speak with any of his family members. His parents completely blamed him for what happened and Izzy, she kind of lost it for a while…

He knew Izzy would be mad when she found out that she was going anyway with Maryse but Alec did what was right. She couldn't stay here with them forever. He didn't want Magnus to feel burdened. At the thought of Magnus, Alec felt disappointed with himself. He had no right to treat him that way and when Magnus had always been there to support him, he pushed him away.

But Alec couldn't deny that he was scared. Now that the barrier that had always kept him in line was gone the moment Magnus broke up with Camille, he felt that the second he had the chance to cross it, he would.

That's exactly the reason why he was starting to act cold in front of Magnus. He didn't want him or anybody to see through him, not even Jace. He had promised Max and he was determined to keep it.

Jace. He'd told him what happened out of the blue. Alec didn't know why it mattered but when he saw Nathan's brother, he was reminded of his own. And when he was reminded of Max, his mind travelled back to Magnus.

The other guy, the one still sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands somehow was thinking the entirely opposite thing. Magnus certainly didn't know what to make out from Alec's behaviour. He assumed that it was all the family matter that had been making Alec turned cranky and disorientated-that's what he called it. He'd even had the nerve to think that it was because of Jace. Ever since they became  _friends_ , Alec spent less time with Magnus; not that he cared. He'd never mind how Alec spent his time. So why did it matter now when it didn't matter then?

Magnus let out a small frustrated groaned and walked to his own room. He stopped for a while, standing directly between his door and Alec's, mouthing a quiet  _Good Night_ at Alec's direction.

When he closed his door, he failed to notice that a pair of black eyes had been watching him silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its shorter. I'm sorry. Do leave a comment or two. :)


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun with this chapter and I wish everyone a wonderful day! :)

Chapter 9

Part I: Hard To Resist

A call came. From the school. On a Saturday. Alec knew there was something wrong. He got up quickly and texted Jace, telling him to come over. He didn't want to ask Magnus to send him there, not after last night and Izzy didn't drive her car to Magnus's place.

Jace texted him back. His answer came after a long reply of how Alec never texted him before and that they should celebrate it. He added a smiley at the end after saying "be there in 15".

After washing his face and brushing his teeth, Alec put on fresh clothes and quietly opened his bedroom's door. He peeked outside, looking for any sign of awaken humans in the kitchen and the living room. Found none, he slowly crossed the distance between his room and the front door. His hand were already embracing the knob when a voice said,

"Where are you going?" Alec froze. He was glad it wasn't Magnus but he knew the outcome would be the same. Just on higher notes. He turned around to face his sister. She had her hands on her hips, looking very fresh in the morning.

"I'm going to school." Alec whispered. "The principal called." Izzy's face turned concerned.

"Is it about yesterday?" She asked in a quieter voice than before. Alec just nodded. He said,

"I'm going with Jace. I'll be back by lunch." Izzy nodded her head and watched as her brother disappeared behind the door. She exhaled heavily, glancing at Magnus's door. She needed to think of something to entertain that guy while her brother was out. She knew Magnus would be worried.

Izzy remembered the look on Magnus's face when she opened the door last night. She was confused and perplexed at first but after a whole night of thinking all the possibilities, and trust me when I said Izzy thinks of  _every_  possibilities which was possible, she'd come to a conclusion that she herself had yet dared to admit. So instead, she kept her peace. For now.

* * *

Magnus woke up to the sound of his phone beeping madly. He looked at the clock showing 9:30 a.m. He answered his phone without looking at the screen and when he heard the other person's voice, he sat upright immediately.

"Magnus?" Camille.

"Yeah?" He croaked. "Are you there?" She asked.

"I'm listening." He muttered, still sleepy. He heard Camille took a breath before talking.

"I need to talk to you."

"I'm still listening." Magnus said.

"Can we meet?" She asked. "I'm at Earthlings' right now." Magnus took a moment before saying,

"Alright." He hung up. Magnus stood up, stretched himself and lazily strolled to his bathroom. He really didn't feel like meeting Camille, he'd thought that she would take a few days to try and make things right again like any other girl he knew but Camille wasn't any other girl. Magnus was partly glad as well, the sooner they solved this, the sooner both of them could go on.

Once he was satisfied with his not-so-simple-yet-still-casual-look (because that's Magnus I'm writing, Magnus Bane), he walked out and spotted Izzy leaning on the counter in the kitchen.

Izzy's head shot up when she saw him.

"Hey." She said. She made a whole once over look at Magnus and asked,

"Where are you going?" Magnus lied.

"I'm going out for a while to get something from the store. You need something?" Her lips were parted when she shook her head.

Magnus spoke again.

"Tell Alec I'm going out. And make sure he doesn't oversleep. He gets bad headache if he does and you know how  _sweet_  he can get with a migraine."

"Oh yeah. Sweet. Very sweet." Izzy emphasized, holding back her laughter. Magnus flashed a smile at her before closing the front door and drove off from his apartment building.

Izzy sighed gratefully when Magnus left. She didn't have to lie to him. She'd been practicing a made up story for Magnus when he finally noticed that Alec was gone.

Izzy tried lying down on the couch, taking a short nap while waiting for Magnus to come back and fire her questions about her brother's where about but she felt something was out of place. Something was bothering her and only Angels know why.

Eventually, after pacing from the living room and the kitchen, running down the purple carpet that was laid on the floor, she decided it was pointless to keep doing that. In the end, she took a nap. On her brother's bed.

* * *

The drive to school was quiet. Alec was looking straight ahead, his posture directly vertical and unmoving. Jace tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, to ease the tension a little bit if not for Alec then for himself.

The dark haired told him what happened. Alec gave him a shorter version of the call he got from the principal and Jace merely nodded. After a while, he couldn't stand the silence so he turned on the radio. Maroon 5's Maps was being played.

After passing a traffic light, Jace made a turn to his left. The faster route to get to Institute High would've been to drive straight on but Jace never passed through that road since he got out from juvenile and got his license. Alec didn't say anything, he didn't seem to mind. He looked dazed and distant for a while.

When Jace stopped in front of the administrative building, he turned to Alec. He didn't get to say anything as the other guy beat him to it.

"You can wait if you want or you can go. I'll call Magnus later." Alec said looking at Jace.

"It's okay. I'll wait for you." Jace honestly replied. He didn't have anything planned on that day anyway; Clary was going out with Jocelyn for a mother-daughter quality time.

Alec looked a little bit relieved at his answer although he couldn't be sure about it. The blonde stared at the black haired as he got out from the car and walked to the principal's office.

Alec knocked before he entered.

"Come in." Said a voice from the inside. He slowly turned the knob and went in. The principal was apparently had been waiting for him. The look on his face was masked with the smile he wore. Alec sat down on the chair facing him.

"How are you, Alec?" Mr. Gray started on.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking." Alec answered back politely. Mr. Gray nodded his head a few times before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry to have disturbed you on the weekend but this matter needed to be solved immediately." His tone was grave. Alec gulped, waiting for his next words.

"It seems that Mr. Collins, Nathan was feeling unwell because of a certain misconduct," Mr. Gray paused, "done by your fencing coach."

It hit Alec hard. He should've seen it coming. He tried to control his expression because he knew that the principal was studying him thoroughly.

When Alec didn't say anything, he continued.

"Mr. Mortmain, as Nathan said has been giving him this medication to help improve his performance. The drugs are rare and illegal, of course you know that and it caused bad effects, harmful bad effects to the consumer." The principal stared at him. When he realized that he wasn't going to get anything out of Alec, he sighed and let his posture droop.

"You see now Mr. Lightwood, your coach had been charged and sued by Nathan's family and the school are taking early steps to make sure that whether there was any other student that he might've given it to as well." He quirked an eyebrow, indicating that he was giving a chance to the younger male to speak if there was a necessity to. Alec pursed his lips.

"I know you're smart enough to understand this whole situation, Alec. You're not the top student for nothing. What I need you to do now is to cooperate, help me." He dropped the formality and spoke casually with Alec.

Alec stayed silent. When he looked up at his principal, he blinked.

"I'll speak with the whole team on Monday and investigate further into this matter. If there is any, I would immediately come and see you." He voiced. The principal nodded, approving his words. Hesitantly, Mr. Gray continued,

"I'm afraid to break this to you Alec, but since your coach will not be around anymore, the whole club and team are under revocation." That was something that Alec had to digest slowly. The principal leaned forward so that he could look at one of his top grader's in the eyes.

"I'm sorry this had to happen on your final year, Alec. I really do." Alec squared his shoulder and replied compliantly,

"I'm sorry as well, Mr. Gray. I'll take my leave then." He got up and walked out. Mr. Gray simply nodded, knowing that making the boy stay longer would probably do more harm than what was already damaged. The school treasured the fencing team and one of its main reasons was because of the prodigy named Alexander Lightwood. To miss the chance of witnessing his talent for the last time was regrettable. The brown-haired principal could only shake his head in disappointment.

* * *

Magnus arrived half an hour later and saw Camille occupying the table next to the window. Her blonde hair stood up amongst many heads in the café, shimmering under the sunlight that hit the glass.

She looked up when she saw him but she didn't smile. Magnus thought she looked angelic for a moment, if it weren't for the crimson coloured lipstick she wore. He sauntered straight to her, deciding not to order anything so that he could leave whenever he felt like.

Magnus noticed that someone else was with Camille because there was another phone, not hers on the table. Before he got the chance to ask, Camille responded,

"Lily's here with me." That made Magnus narrowed his eyes a little bit. He sat down nonetheless, crossing his long legs like he always does. He knew that they were cousins, Lily and Camille. It was hard to ignore their identical blonde hair, although Camille's hair was straight and Lily's was wavy at the end.

"You two having a girls' day out?" Magnus casually asked. He wasn't feeling awkward with Camille even though they weren't longer a couple but he couldn't help feeling that Camille was seeking after something.

"Yeah." She said, sipping her hot white coffee. She put the cup back down and spoke,

"We're going shopping after this. Wanna join us?"

Magnus simply shook his head and answered,

"Nope. Got a plan." He partly lied. He was still thinking about talking to Alec when he got back. "What is it you want to talk about?" He asked. Camille sat straight in her chair, registering the serious tone that Magnus used.

"We're still friends, right?" She quietly asked. Normal people would've sounded like they were asking or even pleading but when Camille said it; she said it like the answer didn't even matter. There was no right answer to her questions, even the straightforward ones.

"Why shouldn't we be?" Magnus countered back. That was the only way he knew how to respond to her. At the corner of his eyes, he saw a glimpse of shadow walking towards them. And then he heard a softer but higher pitch voice greeting him.

"Hello, Magnus." Lily cheerfully smiled at him. "It's been so long."

"Two years." Magnus said to her. She used to attend to Institute High. If you might recall, she was Alec's ex-girlfriend. The whole ordeal that happened to the Lightwoods was what that had brought them apart. At least that's what people thought.

"How's…everybody?" She carefully asked. Magnus caught the slight hesitation in her question but he answered her anyway.

"Fine. And you?" She blinked. "Fine as well." There weren't much difference between the two girls, both had the same blonde hair and pale white skin that seemed to match their eyes and made them looked even more appealing.

Magnus turned his head back to Camille. He wanted to get out of there as soon as he could but he didn't show it. He sat there, as relaxed as he could and said to Camille,

"If there's nothing else, I'll be taking my leave." Camille quickly got up and opened her purse, taking out her car keys.

"Wait here. I have something for you." She said. "It's in the car." And then she left, leaving the two people who were trying not to feel awkward. Lily broke the silence first.

"Ermm…I heard from Camille that Alec moved in with you." Magnus gave her a nod. She was fiddling with her nails.

"Is he seeing someone?" She asked again.

"Why do you want to know?" Magnus's tone was friendly; he wasn't trying to worsen the atmosphere between them.

"Just curious. I bet he's not over  _that_  someone." Lily gave him a knowing look but she didn't say anything else. Magnus didn't grasp what she meant so he answered back,

"Oh, he's totally over you. I'm sure about that." Her eyes widened slightly, just slight enough to show that she wasn't expecting that.

"You mean he told you?" Magnus was completely confused at her statement. They didn't get to unravel their conversation because Camille came back with a small box wrapped in bright red.

She handed it to Magnus who took it gratefully.

"Take it as an early birthday present." She smiled. Magnus gave her a small hug and peck her cheek, thinking that that was going to be the last time they were ever going to acknowledge each other again.

He said his gratitude and waved them goodbye. Only when he got to his car he remembered about Lily's words. Told him what exactly?

Part II: The Gist Of Life

Jace was leaning on the hood of his car when Alec rushed out from the administrative hall.

"Is everything alright?" He asked attentively while looking at the dark haired, searching for any sign of troubled on his face.

"I'll tell you in the car." Alec replied. They both got in and Jace drove out from the school compound.

"So, what happened in there?" Jace asked again. Alec didn't hesitate to answer him. Jace deserved to know since he was a part of the whole mess.

He told him everything about his talk with the principal. Almost everything. He didn't linger on the drug subject.

"You mean we're done now? The whole team?" Alec nodded. Jace looked genuinely disappointed and saddened knowing the fact that he will no longer be able to practice fencing. He enjoyed the whole thing but what made the experience more priceless was that he could spent time knowing Alec.

"I guess that's it then." Jace sighed. "How are you going to tell everybody?"

Alec shrugged. "I really don't know." He slumped further in the seat.

Jace looked at his side and smiled encouragingly at the blue eyed.

"You know you don't have to do this alone, right? Just say it and I'll be there for you." He said sincerely. They both smiled.

"Where are we going?" Alec raised an eyebrow when Jace made a turn the opposite way.

"I'm going to take you for a drink." He said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Besides, I haven't had breakfast when you told me to come."

Jace drove them to Taki's. They ate their breakfast and talked about school. One of the topics was about Jace's grade.

"I think I might have to repeat next year." He said mournfully. "My results are failing me."

"There's still time until our second examination." Alec replied. "You just need to work hard that's it." Jace stared at him as if he'd said something bizarre.

"That's easy for you to say. I need to keep up to two years' worth of lesson. And I don't have a brain like yours." Jace scowled.

Alec quickly said,

"If you want I can help you." The blonde looked up.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Alec shrugged. "Why not. We can stay in the library after school since we don't have to train anymore." His voice dropped a little when he mentioned training. Jace quickly intercepted,

"Or we could go to my house. You can teach me Algebra and I can make you the best meal you will ever have, as exchange."

Alec raised a brow. "You cook?"

"I do. Surprising huh?" Jace said, grinning. "Don't you cook? Or Izzy?"

"Don't even mention about cooking in front of Izzy. The last time I tasted her omelette, well…let's just say that I experienced a whole week of stomach ache and fever." Alec shuddered, remembering the past.

Jace laughed at that. "It can't be that bad."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Wait till you get the chance to see her cook. And then you'll think about it twice." He let out a small laugh.

After their done, Jace sent Alec back to Magnus's apartment.

"Thanks again, Jace. For everything." And Alec meant it. The blonde was taken by surprised when he heard them. Those words seemed to be too much for him when he'd done nothing, he thought. But then he realized what Alec had meant. He smiled.

* * *

Magnus sighed. He looked at the seat next to him; the small red box given by Camille was lying still on it. He glanced out the window car, gazing at his apartment's building. He unintentionally let out a sigh. He must've learnt it from Alec.

He drove his Cadillac into his parking spot and took the elevator up. In his hands were several plastic bags filled with things he'd grabbed from the store after he went to meet Camille. Izzy would suspect him if he returned empty handed. When he reached the top floor, he stepped out and opened his apartment's door.

Magnus was taken aback with the sight that greeted him. Izzy was tearing up. She was sobbing heavily and her head was nuzzled on her brother's shoulder.

Wrapped in Izzy's arms was Alec, standing stoic from where Magnus was looking at him. His back was facing the door so Magnus didn't know whether Alec was crying as well.

"What happened here?" He asked, surprised. Obviously, the sight of the two siblings would even made the neighbours curious, if Magnus had one.

Alec turned his head slowly to the other guy, seemingly unsurprised with the sudden appearance of his friend while he urged Izzy to stop her weeping.

"Izzy's overreacting." Alec finally said when Izzy didn't seem to subdue her tears. That caused Izzy to glare with her puffy eyes at her brother and she unconsciously stopped her crying.

At the light tone in Alec's speech, Magnus reckoned that there was nothing critically serious happened but he still acted his caring manner towards Izzy.

He strolled over to the two and pushed Alec aside by his shoulder, gracefully but effectively which caused Alec to lose his coordination and stumbled a little, not forgetting to carve a shock look on his face. Izzy yelped when she felt her brother's body was pushed away but gasped even more when it was replaced with Magnus's long arms around her, the plastic bags included.

"Shhh…it's okay." He said soothingly, as if coaxing Izzy like she was a child. "You're brother doesn't get you, does he? He doesn't care about anybody but himself."

Izzy giggled a little, Magnus felt a small vibration coming from her and he smiled as well. They were playing of course; joking around acting like Alec was the outsider.

"Now tell me, Isabelle. Who had the nerve to make this young lady cried?" Magnus asked in his serious tone which caused Izzy to chuckle even more. "Was it Simon? Or one of the boys at school? Or did you fight with Clary?"

Izzy shook her head at every question and answered,

"Alec did this to me." Magnus pulled away a little bit and let out a faked dramatic gasp as he looked at the other dark haired and released the girl, changing his posture with his arms perfectly on his hip bones as he freed his hands from the plastic bags.

"Now, young man. I would've never thought that you would go so far as to make your own sister cry." He said in a yet another funny tone and Izzy couldn't hold back her laughter. It rang clearly throughout the apartment and Magnus felt a small pride crept in him seeing that he was successful to stop Izzy's crying.

Alec narrowed his brilliant blue eyes at his friend indicating he was playing along, his brows furrowed closer as he spoke,

"What? Are you going to send me to my room next?" Izzy was clutching her stomach at the scene before her. She was laughing hard at the two males. When she finally calmed down, she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and looked at Magnus.

"Alec has something to tell you." She said innocently, avoiding the raging gaze from her brother that she knew was aimed at her at that moment. So she swiftly moved away and locked herself in her room, unknown to the two that she continued her quiet sobbing while she texted her boyfriend about it.

"What actually happened?" Magnus asked, his brow raised. Alec let his gaze linger on the taller guy when he uttered,

"Nothing." That made Magnus felt a little agitated, although he wouldn't admit it. He'd somehow guessed the other guy's answer before Alec had even said it. To think that he was right was somehow making him even more confused and irritated at the same time.

"Seriously Alec, what is it?" He pushed with a hard stare at Alec and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you want me to force you?" Magnus asked again.

Alec wasn't looking at him. The blue eyed wasn't meeting his eyes and he felt even more saddened at that. What had he done wrong? Magnus mulled. Then suddenly, out of the blue he asked the one thing that had been bothering him. Magnus didn't know why it mattered unexpectedly and what had actually driven him to ask Alec that question.

"Is this about Jace?" Alec's head shot up straight to meet Magnus's gaze. His face was showing exactly how he felt, bewildered and confounded.

"Why is it suddenly about him?" Alec asked back. He noticed that Magnus was wearing almost the same expression as he was, although a little bit lacked in the persistent. He waved his hands sluggishly at Alec and lazily said,

"You know what? Just forget it. You're not going to tell me anyway." He picked up the things he bought and place it on the counter. Then, he walked over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He got out a mineral bottle and bottomed up. All the time Alec was watching him until he asked,

"What's that supposed to mean?" They locked gaze, both of them rooted on the plane that they stood on, neither wanting to admit defeat in their silent war when Magnus finally blinked his eyes and sighed.

"I'm going back to bed and maybe try to at least wake up on the right side." He smirked halfheartedly. The next second, Magnus was completely gone as he entered his bedroom and Alec was left standing solely in the living room.

* * *

Jace prodded the baked beans and fried fries in his plate. After a long deal of thinking, he pushed aside the plate as his final decision was made.

"Honestly Si, I'm not hungry." The blonde was in Simon's kitchen, sitting at the counter while the brown haired was busy preparing himself what he called 'weekend meal' and had offered some to Jace. But the blonde wasn't lying; he just had his breakfast with Alec.

"You know, I am quite shock to see you're being friends with Alec." Simon voiced as he chewed on his fries. "I tried longer than you did and I'm not as close as you two are!" He practically exclaimed. Jace grabbed one long golden fries and pointed it at the spectacled boy.

"That's because you're dating his sister." He popped it into his mouth. Simon brought his eyes up towards a pair of golden ones, away from his plate when he gulped and asked in a quieter tone,

"Did Alec say that?" He sounded scared and ashamed, Jace noted. He shook his head at his friend who seemed relieved at his answer. "I assumed."

When Jace thought they were just going to sit there comfortably enjoying the serenity, Simon let the fork that he was holding dropped from his hand and it clattered as it hit the plate. He brought his head up sharply and said to the blonde,

"Oh right! There's a mail for you." Simon got up and walked to the front door, leaving Jace alone before he returned with a brown envelope that has Jace's name and Simon's address on it. "I think it's for your…you know." He handed it to Jace.

The blonde took it, not missing the slight pause in Simon's sentence. He had a look over at the envelope and sighed when he saw the familiar court stamp on the edge of the wrapping.

"Thanks." Was all he said to Simon who was back to finishing his food and saw a small nod for him. When he got sent to the boys' home, Simon's mother had done her best to help him and his mother. They had been the one solving and managing things for the Herondales. Even when Jace got sued, Elaine didn't hesitate to help him through the ordeals. That's why when mails arrived for Jace or Cecily, they would be sent to Simon's house. It was just next door.

"Do you know what happened to the person I hit?" Jace locked his gaze with Simon's when he voiced out the question. The brown haired could see a flash in Jace's orbs; it was small and it faded almost immediately as it occurred but it was there.

"No. I don't." He finally answered after a torturous long seconds of silence. "Mother might know. She handled everything. Why?" Simon inquired. Jace had never mentioned about the accident before, not to him. It was a shock for him when Jace was suddenly talking about it. Jace shook his head at him and said,

"Nothing."

After half an hour, Jace went back to his home and plopped down on his bed. In his right hand were the mails for either him or Cecily. He went through one by one until he reached the familiar brown envelope. He looked at it, with a tint of uneasiness and disdain mixed. He had a foreboding feeling whenever he thought about it.

He ruffled his hair and the golden strands were now a messy clump on his head.

"It's impossible. It just has to be impossible." He mumbled to himself, pushing away the thought that lingered too long in his mind for his liking. He sat up and scooted to his desk beside his bed and placed the envelope in between his books on the table. The brown letter remained there, the opening still glued and held in place as it held no sign to be open anytime soon. No one thought that soon would come a lot faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Should I drag things and events onward or should I just get it going and have you guys wait in suspense. *Insert a small evil smirk (If you know what I mean)
> 
> Let me know what you think! :)


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello TMI's world best fans! I'm trying to figure out new ways to greet whoever read this. :)  
> And to answer my last author's note, I think I'm going to take things slow and in pace so that you(readers) can enjoy it even more, I hope! So carry on reading and don't forget to review!

Chapter 10

Part I: Puzzle Pieces Surfaces

On Monday, the day that plainly most students hate and most teachers loath could not be any more challenging than it already was for a certain young man. Not only was it a  _Monday_  and the fact that it was raining nonstop which added to the annoyance of that certain soul, but also it was a fated day for him to break a devastating news.

It wasn't easy; he'd been through many other things before which didn't even compete to that particular crisis but he was still a human. A human with a heart and feelings that augmented the burden that he felt. But he wasn't alone. Another soul was walking beside him, guiding him through every step that he took not only on that day but many more that they would share.

_Sadly, the days were counting. The times were passing like day and night and it wasn't long until the past revealed itself._

Alec sighed gratefully and looked at Jace. The other guy was looking at him as well with a small smile tucked at the corner of his lips, the smile that started to make Alec felt a little bit at ease. He beamed back at the blonde and unexpectedly gained himself a wink from Jace.

"You did well." Jace patted his shoulder. "There was no better way to tell them than how you did."

Alec curled his lips even more. He'd done it. He'd told his whole team and dismissed them for the very last time.

There were frowns and scowls but they knew it wasn't the end of the world so they took a step forward, moving on. Jace had been a great help, for even if he was only a member for a short while, the other students had managed to secure a strong bond with the new guy. He'd guided Alec and the rest of the group listened well. Some may not get over it very well yet, but only time could heal wounds.

_Scars remained though. As a reminder so that it would never be forgotten._

As Alec went to see the principal, Jace waited for him. He sat outside the office and he never once thought of leaving. He didn't know why he was feeling obliged to Alec, as if he should do everything in his power to keep the dark haired safe and no harm would even dare to befall on him; excluding the fact that he was currently skipping classes.

He'd never felt that way for Simon, he eventually but ashamedly thought. Jace had known the brown haired longer than he knew Alec and he thought that the connection they had for fencing was what that had brought them closer. But now when that option was unusable, Jace felt even more drawn to the blue eyed. And he couldn't get any happier with the fact that he was able to help Alec even if it wasn't much.

The blonde's head shot up when he heard the door opened and he grinned slyly when he locked eyes with Alec. The other boy looked a lot calmer and relieved, that was until he saw the blonde.

"Jace!" Alec was visibly shocked. "I told you to go back to class. What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you of course." Jace replied with an innocent look on his face. Without wasting a moment, Alec grabbed him tightly yet gentle by the arm and hauled him out from the administrative building and towards their classrooms hall.

"You need to focus Jace." Alec said with a stern voice. "If you really want to graduate this year, you need to start paying extra attention and not missing even one lesson." He continued as he dragged the shorter guy across the building and towards the hall.

"I thought you were going to help me?" Jace asked with a ridicule look on his face. Alec rolled his eyes at that statement.

"Obviously." He muttered instead. "Now go. Before you miss the whole class." Alec made a shooing motion with his hands. They had stopped walking and were standing in front of Alec's locker. The ebony haired took out a few books and gaped when he saw the blonde still standing next to him. Before he could say anything, Jace spoke first.

"You know, if I had a brother, I would imagine him exactly like you." Jace faked a shudder. "Only a little more sassy like me." Jace missed something that crossed Alec's face when he spoke but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

"Then you better get going or I'll make your wish comes true." Alec said, shutting his locker close and not looking at Jace.

"Alright, alright." The blonde held up his hands as if he were surrendering.

"I'll see you after school, Alec." He shouted further as he stormed towards his classroom.

Alec didn't bother to shout back, he'd be in trouble if he did. Instead, he let his eyes droop a little and walked soundlessly to his class.

_Brother. Why does it hurt when it's not supposed to?_

* * *

Magnus tried very hard not to whack the spoon he was holding on the table. It was lunch time and seated on their regular table in the centre of the cafeteria was him, Clary and Simon. Izzy was still lining up for her food and Camille was nowhere to be seen. Magnus concluded that she must be having lunch with the cheer team now that they weren't a thing anymore.

What made Magnus almost making a scene was when he'd asked the other two occupants on the table about Alec and Jace. The question was pretty simple; he'd said "Where are Alec and Jace?" towards the two. However, the answer from the brown-haired was what that had made him promptly lost his composure.

"They're still having their final fencing team meeting. Didn't Alec tell you?" Simon asked, unknowingly sparked an annoyance in Magnus.

"Final meeting? What's that supposed to mean?" Magnus inquired back, attempting to hide his anger. Clary raised her eyebrow at him.

"They're cancelling the club, Magnus. The whole school knows about it like yesterday." Clary friendly answered him with a smile but that didn't make Magnus felt any better. He was about to say something more when Izzy came and settled down her tray of food on the table.

"Hey." She greeted the group. She noticed that Magnus was frowning and the other two was somewhat looking unsure and guilty. Her smile quickly dropped from her face when she asked them,

"What's wrong?" At that, Magnus sharply turned at her with a look that portrayed betray and unjust. He spoke to her,

"Is it true? The fencing team is disbanding?" Izzy tilted her head to the side and widened her eyes.

"You mean Alec didn't tell you that day?" Izzy asked back.

"He told me nothing." Magnus muttered under his breath.

He could barely contain his emotion at that moment so he got up quickly which almost made Izzy stumbled backwards if she hadn't grabbed the chair. The tall guy stormed away from the table, leaving his lunch and friends behind until a small hand grabbed him by the arm before he made to the door.

"Magnus!" Izzy called him and he turned to see his friend's sister holding him in place. "Where are you going?" She asked, her face frowned with concern.

"I'm going to see Alec." He was about to move again but Izzy kept her hold on Magnus's arm and tugged him towards her.

"Right now?" Asked Izzy. "They're having their final meeting Magnus and you don't want to interrupt them." Izzy persuaded. Magnus looked like he was pondering about something. He stared at Izzy and asked,

"That was the reason why you were crying that day." Magnus wasn't asking, he was stating. Izzy nodded, not trusting herself to lie to her brother's friend. It was partly true. The other half of it was because of the drug and she was crying out of relief when Magnus saw them that day.

Magnus was clearly still unsatisfied with the fact that Alec didn't told him about it. Izzy chose her words carefully before she spoke again to the Asian-looking guy.

"Look Magnus, I really don't know why Alec didn't tell you about it but I know that you know better and Alec must've had his reasons." She looked at him with a little tint of sympathy. She could see that Magnus was holding back and if she was in his position, she would be as irritated as he was.

She gulped and continued,

"I don't know what's going on between you and my brother but I know that you care for him." The last part of her sentence was in whisper. She stared at the floor and muttered loud enough for him to hear,

"You know him best Magnus and I hope it stays that way." And with that, she released her hand from Magnus's arm and walked back to her peers at the table.

Izzy didn't need to turn her head to know that Magnus was staring at her. The dark haired guy was even more confused at her words and she wasn't surprised when she felt a hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around so that she was facing the owner's hand.

What got her really stunned was the look in Magnus's eyes as he said,

"Please, Izzy. No more riddles. God…I don't even think I know him anymore." He sighed exasperatedly and rubbed his face very un-Magnus like. Izzy held his hands again, this time giving it a slight squeeze and an understanding smile.

"I'll tell you everything when school ends, alright. Right now I just want you to calm down and eat lunch with me, okay?" He weakly nodded and they walked back to their table, both ignoring Clary's and Simon's gaze. Magnus closed his eyes tightly before revealing his yellowish-green orbs and the look from before were gone. Untraceable.

* * *

The last period for that day was Literature. Our main protagonists; Alec, Magnus and Jace were siting not too far away from each other. Magnus was in the middle while Alec was on his right and Jace was on his left. When the bell rings, Magnus got up abruptly yet nimbly and was ready to approach the other dark haired. He stood directly facing his housemate and calmly said,

"I need to have a word with you, Alexander." The pair of cerulean eyes shot up and Magnus couldn't help but to stare back. None of their gaze wavered, at least until Jace broke their trance.

"Hey Alec, I'll wait you by the car." The blonde wave the pair goodbye and walked out of the classroom, leaving them completely alone as other students and the teacher had long left the space.

Magnus quirked an eyebrow at the shorter male. It was a demand; a sign of urgency for answer to the unspoken question.

Alec licked his lips before he carefully said,

"I'm going to Jace's to help him with his study. Don't wait for me." Alec hadn't meant anything to cross or to even upset Magnus with his reply. But the last four words were exactly what it needed to add to Magnus's already wounded feelings.

Alec made a motion to walk away and when Magnus didn't react, Alec hesitated for one second. But then he made up his mind and quickly strolled out from the classroom. He was too caught up with his musing he didn't hear the sound of another footstep catching up to him in the hall. The next thing he knew, he was clasped flushed against another body as he was whirled around and Magnus had his arms wrapped on Alec's torso.

They fit perfectly that way, with Alec's chin just right on Magnus's shoulder and the other guy's chin right on top of Alec's head. To say Alec was shocked was an understatement. He could felt both of their heartbeats pounding together although he ashamedly acknowledged that his was a lot quicker.

"I'm sorry about what happened to the fencing team." Magnus whispered in his ear which made him shivered a little bit. Alec could only managed himself to nod and when Magnus pulled away, the heat was lost between them and Alec tried so hard to keep his face from showing disappointment.

"I'll wait for you to come home Alec." Magnus kindly said before he winked and walked the opposite way. Alec turned and walked his own direction and couldn't help the small curl on his lips when he reminisce Magnus's word.  _Home._

Part II: When Things Seem To Fit

Alec's legs were folded underneath him as he was sitting on the floor of Jace's bedroom. The said owner of the room was however, standing with his back hunched as he rummaged desperately through his bag looking for that one particular book; algebra. He sighed exasperatedly when he couldn't find it and dropped his bag down on the floor unceremoniously.

"When was the last time you saw it?" Alec asked again, for who knew how many times. He wasn't trying to agitate the blonde, it was far from that. The ambience had gotten to stress up for both of them so Alec thought that it was only right for him to break through the heavy tense.

"That's the thing." Jace flung his hands above his head. "I didn't bring it today, remember?" Alec recalled when Miss Lind had asked for Jace's homework and the blonde replied that he'd left them at home. Alec cautiously got on his feet and walked over to Jace's table. Jace meanwhile had flopped on his bed and mumbled,

"I give up." He was lying on his back. He squint an eye at Alec and spoke again,

"I think I'm going through food coma state." Alec couldn't help but chuckled at that statement. Jace was true with his words when he said that he was going to cook for Alec. They both had eaten before going up to Jace's room and Alec sincerely thought that Jace could even become Izzy's cooking tutor.

He looked around the table, searching through the stacks of books and other random things on it before his eyes caught something. He looked skeptically at it and turned to Jace before his hands reflexively reached out to grab it.

"Aha!" He exclaimed. "Here it is. Our precious Algebra." Alec said with a grin on his face. Jace didn't respond. His right forearm was covering his eyes and Alec thought that he'd fell asleep.

The bed dipped a little when Alec sat on it and copied Jace's pose.

"I really think we should cut down on the food next time." The taller one said in a suggestive tone. Jace's head turned facing Alec's side. "We might end up not studying at all." Alec joked.

A snort sounded from Jace. "You didn't eat much, Alec."

"And I'm not the one who needs to study." Alec retorted back. He intentionally smirked. Jace saw it and gave a light punch on Alec's arm. He closed his eyes again and they settled in silence, only their constant breathing sounded through the room.

"Alec?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think what our coach did was right? Giving Nathan the drug?"

Jace turned his head so that he could look at Alec. The dark haired eyes were closed and his arm was covering his face so Jace didn't discern Alec's facial hardened for a moment.

He didn't answer him straight away. Jace kept his gaze on the other guy even though he couldn't see him. After a long pause, Alec said,

"It was wrong." And silence took over again but not for long as Jace asked quietly,

"He made you take it too, didn't he?" Alec's blue orbs were wide opened before Jace had even finished his sentence. The rate of his heartbeat increased dramatically yet Alec managed to disguise it.

"You don't have to tell me anything, Alec." Jace carried on. "I kind of put the things together." Alec's silence only made it seemed to be true. He stared at the ceiling when he spoke,

"What gave me away?" Alec's voice croaked a little bit at the end but Jace didn't appear to notice. They were talking in a very low tone that made the mood sounded serious yet no less casual.

"The first couple of months you trained me. I thought I was being delusional because not even Izzy or Magnus saw it but then I knew something was wrong." All of the sudden, a clear laughter rang throughout Jace's room. Alec's figure shook with the remnants of his laugh.

"You always surprise me, Jace." The blonde couldn't help but chuckled as well.

"I wish I could see through my studies so that I'd understand them better." Jace said, adding a false mournful tone in his speech. A sort of warmth crept up Alec's chest when he heard what Jace had uttered. He finally grasped what it meant to let someone in. All the time since Max's death, he'd built a wall around him so that nobody could get any closer than just to know his name. Even with Magnus and his sister, Alec had always been cautious and careful not to let them see through him.

But you see, things were different when Jace came storming in, literally the first time Alec saw him on the first day. The blonde held nothing but a mystery, so much like him but Jace wasn't careful, he wasn't prudent for he had immediately let Alec in. What the dark haired found was something he'd never thought would be possible.

Even for Jace, he felt almost complete whenever he was with Alec. The presence of the male sitting next to him gave a sort of secureness, as to what Jace had yet to figure out but he knew one thing for sure; he'd owned himself the other half of him.

"Alec, say something." Jace coaxed. The dark haired had gotten up and was sitting straight with his feet dangling off the bed.

"Are you going to tell on me?" asked Alec. The bed squeaked a little as Jace brusquely sat up and faced Alec.

"Why would you think that?" Jace asked back, his voice filled with disapproval. Alec wasn't looking at him which made Jace grabbed him by his shoulders and turned Alec's upper body so that the blonde could look at him clearly.

"I won't say anything about it even if you don't make me promise to keep it as a secret." A small smile graced Jace's lips as if to make a point. He added on, "I told you, you're like my brother from another mother."

A glint of hurt passed Alec's azure gaze and it quickly vanished. Again, Jace mentioned the word that made Alec unknowingly cringed inwardly. His chest made a sickening sensation as if it was pricked with a needle and it was hard to breath for a moment.

He got up curtly and said,

"I think we should start on our homework first." Jace merely nodded as he observed Alec's manner. They both got out their books and let the time passed as they were engulfed with their studies.

* * *

A few hours passed before Alec noticed that it was almost night time. The sun had yet to dawn but he didn't want to overstay his visit so he told Jace that he needed to leave before making sure that Jace finally understood the last question in his book-which took an impressive amount of time considering the few ones before were much longer.

As they both walked down and towards the front door, no words were exchanged but it didn't feel wrong. Knowing Alec, Jace had long learned that Alec wasn't much of a talker. When they passed the living room, Alec saw Jace's mother siting on the couch reading a book.

"Mother!" Jace greeted his mom. "When did you come home?" Cecily's head shot up when she heard her son's voice and gave him a loving smile that only a mother could give.

"I've been home for over an hour. I was wondering why you were so quiet up there." She said, giving him a knowing look. She looked past Jace and saw Alec.

"Hello, Mrs. Herondale." Alec politely spoke.

"Mother, this is Alec." Jace made a motion towards his friend.

"Just call me Cecily, dear. It's nice to meet you." A look of recognition was shown on Cecily's face when she stood up and walked closer towards the dark haired.

"Have we met before, Alec?" She asked in her motherly tone. Alec shook his head and look at Jace before answering Cecily,

"I don't think so." Cecily nodded her head slowly before saying,

"I guess it must be my memories playing trick with me." She smiled again. "Would you like to stay for dinner? I'm making steak for tonight." Alec thought for a while about how Jace had gained his cooking skill and deduced that it must've been from his mother. He cut his thinking short and answered yet again in a respectful tone,

"Thank you, err… Cecily. But I have to decline." And as if asking for rescue from his friend, Alec shot a glance at Jace who caught it and smirked playfully back at him.

"Well, I guess it is rather late but we can make sure that he'd stay next time, don't you think so mother?" Jace teasingly look at Cecily and from behind, he wrapped his arms around her shoulder, giving her a hug. Cecily flashed that smile of hers to her son and nodded, agreeing.

"You can't say no next time, buddy." Jace winked and stuck out his tongue. Alec didn't know how to respond to that so he simply gave a thumb up at them and gestured them goodbye as he walked to Magnus's apartment.

He'd said no when Jace offered to drive him back to Magnus's place in excuse that he was going somewhere else before heading there. Alec needed the time alone; his head was so messed up due to the overstrained caused by the infliction of repeating the same thing several times to Jace. He'd almost gotten  _himself_ confused when he realized that his explanation was all jumbled up. He sigh just thinking about it.

The other reason was because he was on his way to Magnus. He couldn't keep avoiding him, not when they were living together and Magnus's action when they last met had left him wordless yet blissed. With a made up mind and a resolute heart, Alec counted his steps as he travelled back  _home_.

* * *

The lights were off but the television screen was on. There were remains of Chinese take-away containers and a few soda cans littering on the floor. The couch however was empty, void of its usual manner beholding an occupant or two.

Alec used the small amount of rays from the tv to manoeuvre his movements. He reached over to the outlet and flicked the kitchen switch on. His pupil dilated for a moment before they adjusted to the new lightings. His eyes roamed around the room, looking for that certain someone.

His search however was negative in result as the living room was vacant. Absentmindedly, he quirked his left eyebrow. The time could still be considered early for a school night so Alec pushed away the thought that both Magnus and Izzy were asleep.

He quietly strolled over to Izzy's room; the second door after the kitchen. When he opened them, he was surprised to see it empty with the lights on. That got him even more curious. If they were out, why would there be take-aways on the floor?

Just then he heard a small murmur coming from the room next to Izzy's. He walked slowly, trying to make his footsteps as light as feather but when Alec caught a mixture of chuckles sounding from his room, he rushed towards it and pushed the door opened with a little too much force. But who could blame him?

"What are you two doing?!" Alec said in disbelieved. Lying on his king sized bed on their stomach was no other than Izzy and Magnus. They were still in their fit of giggles and facing them was Izzy's laptop. The monitor was on, illuminating the faces of the two beings on the bed who were still entranced to the screen.

"Why are you watching in the dark?" Alec was about to flick the switch on when Izzy said,

"Don't!" She got up and pulled Alec towards them, not forgetting to shut the door behind her. She peeled off Alec's bag from his hand and motion for him to get on the bed as well. Magnus was lying on his side, his elbow propped up and his hand supporting his head. He had this grin that Alec had never seen before and he was grateful the lights were off; he would've not admit that he was colouring a little on his cheek.

"What is this?" He asked again, trying to control his slightly wavered tone. Izzy made a gesture to shove her brother on the bed but Alec remained standing by the side. She crooked her neck so that she could see Magnus as Alec was standing in front her.

"A little help here?" Magnus smiled at Izzy and moved forward, his hand reaching out and pulled Alec who fell flat on the bed. The other guy scrambled to his feet but before he could even regained his sense; Izzy was already lying on the bed as well.

"Moved a side, please." She said to Alec in her 'Izzy' tone. Alec scooted a little before he realized just how close he was to Magnus. He moved his focus towards the laptop.

"What have you two been doing?" Alec asked again, although this time it was less resign. The three figures on the bed were now lying like tunas on their stomach with Alec in the middle. Izzy pressed something on her laptop and a video was playing.

"I was showing Magnus our old videos. The one that mom made when we were just little kids."

Izzy put her chin on her folded arms and looked at the screen. Alec could do nothing but watched along, pretending not to steal a glance towards the guy next to him.

Magnus voice suddenly broke their attention on the screen, well mostly Alec's attention.

"I never knew you were as cute as you are right now since you were three." He practically purred the words at Alec who looked like he'd just swallowed something and it got stuck in his throat.

"Shut up." Was all his response as he rolled his eyes. Magnus laughed even more at that. After a few other videos and four hours later, Magnus started to yawn. Izzy had long fall asleep and was curled beside Alec. He'd covered her with his blanket and pushed away a few strands of hair on her face.

"Do you want to stop?" Alec whispered to Magnus. The taller one didn't reply; Alec turned his head and noticed that Magnus had his eyes closed and his breathing was smooth signifying that he too had fallen asleep.

Alec pulled the laptop shut and put it away as far as he could in his position. He lied back down on his side facing Izzy and wrapped his arms protectively around her shoulder. She snuggled even more into his embrace.

"Alec?" A voice said from behind him.

Alec froze a moment before turning his head slowly towards Magnus.

"What is it?" He asked. Magnus seemed a lot more vulnerable in that state, his hair sprawling widely across the bed and his face lack in the certainty that he always held.

"Nothing." Magnus looked drowsy. His eyes were half lidded but Alec could still see the glow in his eyes. His lips parted when he continued,

"I've always wanted to say that to you." And then he smiled lopsidedly. If Alec didn't know better he'd thought that Magnus was being delirious. Maybe he was?

"Go to sleep, Magnus." Alec softly said.

"Good night, Alexander." Alec said nothing. He kept his quiet and watched as Magnus relaxed and fell into a deep slumber.

"Magnus?" He didn't move. Alec leaned his head forward a little bit and whispered,

"I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please accept the last line from me. I know I'm a day behind but this chapter was a little bit longer. I've been reading a few Malec stories out there so don't blame me for the last part. My adrenaline brought it. XD
> 
> Look forward to the next one. *wink wink
> 
> Don't forget to leave your review on this chapter! :)


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello hello! Oh my god, I know I'm late by one week. So sorry. I've been busy with some readings and driving lessons and life...The best part is I'm posting two chapters this week. Look forward to the next one in a couple of days. Let me know if I'm rushing things around or there's some things lacking here and there. So here's the next chapter. Keep calm and carry on reading! :)

Chapter 11

Part I: Maybe It Is Alright

In the distant, Magnus could tell that the bright spots dancing on his closed eyelids were the sun, lighting up the space that he was in. It wasn't as bright as it usually was when he woke up in his own bed. Of course, he wasn't in his bed or even in his room but at the moment, he was too disorientated to remember why.

He felt something brushed under his chin, tickling him to the extent of forcing his eyes open and glancing what was underneath him. He tried moving his hand but it felt heavy, like it was stuck beneath something.

Magnus opened his eyes wider, revealing green coloured orbs laced with yellow ring around them. Odd combination if you ask around, but on Magnus it just adds to his perfect features.

He could feel another body pressed against him, so warm and lithe yet he could tell that those were muscles underneath the clothing. Alec looked so calm and at peace, so far away from his usual self.

Gently, Magnus brought his free hand up and brushed away the ebony locks from Alec's forehead. His fingers travelled down to caressed the other boy's eyebrow with tender and they furrowed closer before returning back to their original manner; relaxed and content.

Alec mumbled something incoherent and Magnus let slip a small grin. He was being truthful when he'd compliment the blue eyed that he was adorable. But it didn't really quite fit Alec, not when he was usually seen with a reserved and collected posture.

When Alec started to stir in his sleep, Magnus quickly took his hand off the other guy. He watched; his expression amused as the boy curled beside him tensed for a while before opening his eyes.

_Since when had those deep blues looked breath taking?_

Alec blinked a few times so as to chase away the sleep that were still lingering on the very edge of his eyelashes, persuading him to go back to sleep. Once his vision was clear-as clear as it could get staring at someone's chest- his head shot up and his eyes locked with Magnus's.

His first instinct was to push away the other's body or get himself to move away; instead his eyes transfixed on the amber ones. Magnus didn't look away either, he was captivated with those cerulean orbs that he found himself holding his breath. No movements, no words, just the sound of their breathing and something crashing in the kitchen.

"Good morning." Magnus softly croaked after a while. Alec didn't respond to him, his eyes were trailing Magnus's physiognomy carefully, like he was examining a piece of China porcelain that he would never see again tomorrow. His blue eyes that were still drowsy were full of glow as they travelled from Magnus's forehead down to his cheekbones and towards his chin.

Alec was about to say something, and Magnus didn't know why his heart started to beat a little faster when he saw Alec moved his lips but they didn't get the chance; Izzy cut them off their morning stupor.

"Wakie wakie, boys! Enough of that cuddling. We have to get to school and  _I made you guys breakfast_." She chimed in joyfully. Her voice broke whatever it was that had confined Alec and Magnus in their state. At the mention of breakfast, Alec's whole body jerked up from the bed and in a blink, he was standing on his feet. The image of his sister wearing an apron across her school uniform with a spatula on her right hand disposed any thought of…well, anything else.

"You do what?" Alec's voice shook, showing how ridiculous Izzy's words had sounded.

"I didn't do anything." She shrugged. " _I made you guys breakfast_." There, she repeated it again. This time, even Magnus was out of bed in a quick jump.

"Oh dear, we better get ready soon Alec." Magnus glanced at the other boy, looking for a sign of something, anything that showed he was thinking about what just happened between them. His answer proved Magnus that he wasn't.

"We should." With that, the two males rushed to their respective bathroom, leaving a scowling Izzy at the door by herself. Despite the daggers that she shot at her brother and Magnus, the two were completely unaware that Izzy had witnessed the whole exchanged they had on the bed.

When the two boys were gone from her sight, she shouted,

"Better hurry up or you'll have to finish all of it!" She could hear an even louder rustles coming from the bathrooms, knowing that she'd managed to scare them. Putting down the spatula that she brought out just for act, she untied the apron and took it off, eyeing the cereals and coffee that she had prepared on the counter.

Izzy wasn't entirely thoughtless, she admitted herself that her cooking skill was beyond repair and the only thing that she could make on her own without killing people was drinks.

Magnus showed up first, looking as handsome as he usually was with the uniform and his hair all 'glittered' up. He sighed in relief at the sight of the cereals on the table and gave Izzy a wink. She merely stuck out a tongue at him and sat on a stool.

"What was that all about?" She quietly asked, looking across Magnus to see whether her brother had come out from his room.

"What was what all about?" Magnus asked, although he had a feeling where that conversation was leading to.

"You know what I'm talking about." She hit him on his arm. "I saw everything."

"You mean you spied everything." He continued to finish his breakfast without looking at Izzy. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were getting comfortable with Alec. I assumed that you don't want to be disturbed." She grinned. "Besides, you two had been cuddling the moment I woke up."

Magnus, who was sipping his coffee, smiled back at her.

"Aww…you should have seen it! You guys are just too cute to be true. I should have taken a photo." She regretfully said, almost to herself.

"We're not true, Iz. We've been through this so many times. I don't even know if he likes me." It was true. The moment when Izzy and Magnus arrived at his apartment yesterday, it was like they had conducted a mission; Alec's personal life mission. Izzy kept going on about the whole fencing club ordeal and she skipped the drugs part, not wanting to scare Magnus even more.

And surprisingly, in between their conversation, Magnus had slipped out,

"I think I'm having a crush on Alec." With that said, Izzy was totally out of her pretence, her mirrored prudential all gone as she told Magnus that she knew it all along. One thing leads to another, and in the end they ended up watching some of Alec's childhood videos in his room, which explained the last night event.

"You're going to have to figure that out yourself. My skill in being your fairy godmother has started to wear off." She spoke in a dramatic tone. "I have my own love life to take care of, you know." Izzy added, a glint of joy flashed through her eyes. My, my. That girl is in love. Magnus pondered.

"What love life?" Alec's voice broke off their 'secretive' conversation and they pretended that they hadn't been talking. Magnus wondered how long had Alec been standing there and listening to their conversation. He hoped that Alec hadn't known about his feelings, he needed to make sure of it first before he confronted Alec. He didn't want the feelings that he was having was just a side effect of being single-due to the broke up, Magnus hadn't really much been seeing any other people in his life. It was pretty much just Alec and Izzy who were staying under the same roof.

'God, my life is pathetic.' He inwardly sighed. Alec was just sitting down beside Magnus when Izzy leaned forward to her brother and slyly said,

"Magnus is having a crush on someone." The Asian-looking guy was very much prepared for that. He'd saw the look on Izzy's face before she spoke and he pretended not to be shocked, although his heart said differently. He turned to look at Alec, who was staring at him back. There was something in his eyes that Magnus didn't really expect to see. His face was astounded; Magnus had anticipated that but the gaze in his blue eyes, which was a dissimilar story, caught Magnus off guard.

There were too many things going on in that pale boy's eyes. A blaze of mixed emotions were as far as Magnus could unravel before Alec turned away and changed his interest towards his breakfast.

Magnus somehow was still stunned. How had he managed to see through Alec for the very first time and yet he didn't understand anything? Well, almost everything. There was that one thing that he'd suspected long ago was there and when he'd finally caught a glimpse of it, Magnus wasn't actually proud to be right. For what he had seen beneath the boy with a sweet smile, bright thoughts that carried him through his perfect grades and a good friend was a broken hearted person.

What actually happened to him that he became beyond repair?

* * *

It was lunch time. The cafeteria however wasn't as packed as it usually was since most of the students were busy lurking in their classrooms or the library, killing time with extra notes and materials they could get. The final exams were three months away yet the major number of students that were having lunch in the cafeteria were the seniors.

Among those students, seated at the centre table were Clary, Simon and Izzy. Surprisingly, Magnus was nowhere to be spotted. Jace and Alec would be in the library, struggling with the blonde's IQ.

"You two have anything on after school?" Clary asked. "I was thinking that we could study together." The redhead was chewing on a sandwich. Simon was sitting beside Izzy who had her eyes focused on her phone. Clary could see that Simon was trying to peek at Izzy's phone and when Izzy brought her head up to face him, Clary could've sworn she heard some bones popping when Simon turned his head.

"Sure. Your place?" Izzy reached out her hand and took a sandwich from Clary's tray.

"I thought we could maybe, crash at Magnus's place?" She blinked her eyes a few times.

"Please don't tell me it's because Jace is going to be there as well. Trust me, I know you." Simon stared at Clary. "You'll end up daydreaming instead of  _studying._ "

"Wait! That's a great idea!" Izzy exhaled.

"What? Daydreaming?" Simon looked at her questioningly.

"Not that. I mean, sure. Magnus won't mind if we spend some time there." Then, she looked down and mostly whispered to her phone,

"We could have triple date time instead of double."

"Triple?" Clary quirked her eyebrow at her. Simon was also staring, not the usual staring but the other staring, like she'd said something stupid or bizarre.

"Forget about that." Izzy said; more to herself as her focus was glued to her phone. The other two shrugged their shoulders and they stayed silent. Clary continued on finishing her lunch while Simon was trying to bring Izzy back to reality.

"Who are you texting?" He finally asked his girlfriend after what seemed like decades for him to pick up his courage.

"Magnus." She simply answered; her dark orbs still aimed towards her phone's screen. Simon kept looking at her, his upper body slightly turned towards her side.

When Izzy finally noticed him, she closed her phone and said to the two,

"Study date, this afternoon at Magnus."

Part II: Definition Of Fine

"Is that correct?"

"No."

"Like that?"

"No."

"What about that?"

"Still no."

"Screw this thing." Jace said exasperatedly and pushed away his book; his left hand still holding his blue pen. "I did exactly the same thing you showed me."

Alec peered on the paper that Jace had written and pointed out,

"You missed one step, Jace." The blonde grabbed the book back towards him almost eagerly and scribbled a few things before shoving it back towards Alec.

"Is that correct?"

"Finally." Alec leaned back on his chair and let his head fell backward. He could hear Jace sighing, as if that much of work had been tiring. Mostly it's just your brain doing the thinking, but with Jace he'd resort to some other unnecessary things like ruffling his already messy hair or scratching his ear with the back of his pen.

"I don't get why you insist on going out here just to make me do a few questions." Jace looked around him. They were completely alone at that area which was a few distance away from the classrooms block and located just behind the school. The gates separated them from the outside; cars were passing by and people walking along the sidewalk. It was a plane of green grass and trees which provided them with enough shades at the spot they were seated. Tables and chairs were prepared for the students-in this case, Jace and Alec- for their own use.

"The library's packed. Madam Theresa won't be able to keep all of them quite. It's like listening to cats purring in their sleep." Alec closed his eyes for a while. In his head, he was trying to remember and memorize a few things that he had just indirectly learned.

"I like cats." Jace shrugged. "They're not so intimidating like ducks."

"What's wrong with ducks?"

"Everything." Jace shuddered. "Have you seen one before? It's like they could rip off your eyes when you get close enough."

"That's like the strangest thing I've heard this year." Alec let out a laugh. His eyes flickered towards a corner and he caught someone looking at them from behind a lamp poll. He blinked once and the man was gone.

"What is it?" Jace frowned and turned his head towards Alec's line of view.

"Nothing." Alec muttered, still looking at the lamp poll. "I thought I just saw someone." Jace's phone beeped and he opened it, reading a text from Clary. A grin found its way up towards his lips.

He looked at Alec who appeared to be staring still at the distance.

"It seems that we are having a study group this afternoon at Magnus's place."

Alec glared at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah." The blonde said. "Clary just texted me saying that she and Simon are coming over to study with Izzy. Magnus can study with us." He proposed.

At the mention of Magnus, Alec's mind couldn't help but drifted to that morning 'incident'.

"We should stop by at Taki's." Alec said. "A room full with hungry teenagers are no good for the country." He joked.

A snort came from Jace. "As long as the said teenagers doesn't go into coma state like someone did." The air was filled with their laughs.

* * *

A dark haired and a blonde were walking along the sidewalk of the New York City, heading to Taki's as promised by the former. They didn't take the car; Simon drove straight with Clary and Izzy to Magnus's who had left earlier.

"We could use some exercise." The taller between the two tried to console his buddy next to him. The golden orbs held no anger yet Alec could tell that Jace was pretty much irritated.

"Yeah, totally. I mean like we hadn't been exercising for what? Years?" He gestured wildly in front him. His blazer hung loosely on his free shoulder while his hand dragged along his bag which seemed too light. Jace was impervious to the stares that he attracted.

"We didn't tell them where we're going anyway." Alec affirmed.

"I know." Jace said, defeated. Taki's were just a few steps ahead of them. "Thank god it's not too far."

Alec's head turned to his left. He narrowed his eyes and stopped walking. He couldn't help the feeling that both of them were being followed and his instinct kicked in when he saw the same man he'd seen earlier standing in a phone booth. Jace was already standing in front of Taki's and was holding the door open when he shouted,

"Hey Alec! Come on." Alec turned his head towards the blonde and nodded. When he looked back at the phone booth, the man was gone.

"What were you doing out there?" Jace asked when he saw Alec entered. He solely shook his head and motioned to Jace to walk ahead. But they didn't get to take a step forward; a boy in a school uniform blocked their way and looked at Jace with a sneer.

"Herondale." He leered. "I see you've been released. How's life?"

"Jon." Jace said with a look of acknowledgement at the boy. Jon was tall, slightly lean but not skinny like Simon. His hair was auburn but it looked like it'd been dyed. It didn't appear natural, Alec mused. "I've been well. How's school?"

The boy grinned, a look of bored and blasé discernible on his not-so-pale complexion.

"School's great. Oh, and I go with Sebastian nowadays." Sebastian's voice filled with fake enthusiasm. "The records' are perfectly clean for two years." St. Alicante's logo was perfectly sewn on the boy's untucked shirt. It was another elite school right across the town, usually known with their records coming second after Institute High (fencing included).

Alec would've thought that the boy was just taunting Jace if it weren't for the looks that were cast to them by the rest of the people in the restaurant. Then it hit him, one by one he took them in; they were wearing the same uniform as Jon or as he said, Sebastian.

Alec cleared his throat and said as polite as he could mustered,

"We're running late. We should just get our food and meet our friends as promised." That was another way for Alec to say we-better-get-out-of-here-soon. His words were loud enough for Sebastian to hear but the guy didn't seem to care. He looked at Alec, his eyes scanning him from head to toes and out of the blue, he said,

"You're friend with the so called prodigy." Sebastian sounded amused and Alec felt a sense of foreboding. Only a few people would label him with that word-people who knew him from fencing. His mind travelled back to the man that he saw on the road and back at the school. Something was wrong.

"Jace, we should leave." Alec commanded, grabbing the blonde by his forearm and turned to the door. Unfortunately, their way out was blocked by a few boys who looked like they were some sort of a gangster group. Jace looked collected, he hadn't said a word after the short 'friendly' greeting but it seemed like he'd been watching the rest of the restaurant. He turned to face Sebastian again, his arms folded on his chest as he spoke casually,

"What is it that you want?" Sebastian chuckled softly, the sort of chuckle you'd hear from a boy like him-menacing and rude.

"What makes you think I want anything? I'm just happy to see you Jace, all patched up from those juveniles. I'd think that after you ran that kid down you'd at least spare yourself the joy of seeing sunlight again."

That boy was totally trying to get on Jace's nerves. Alec could tell by the way Jace's arms flexed a little that he was holding back from attacking that boy. They were both in their uniforms; that would scream a lot of trouble.

"Excuse me boys." A big guy from behind the counter growled. "You might wanna take your business outside or I'll have to use some force and you won't like it, I promise you that." The man was huge, his beards combed and his hair tied in a ponytail.

Alec took Jace by the wrist and this time, he headed towards the back door and strode along the alley. The door screeched when it was opened the second time and Jace stopped dead in his track. Alec spun around and locked eyes with Sebastian's dark ones. Thankfully, he was alone. Regrettably, it meant he hadn't had enough.

"You sure seemed pretty comfortable, Herondale. Does your friend here know about you, what you've been up to for the past two years?" He looked questioningly at Alec who glared back at him. And then he smiled, a sudden realization dawned on him.

"Oh he does! And you don't mind, do you Ace? Is he your new underling?" He asked Jace, his index finger pointing at Alec. Jace kept his quiet and the other boy carried on with his jeering.

"I thought you'd at least find someone bigger than me since I've been a very good subordinate. Didn't think that this scrawny here would pass to qualify." Jace would have a lot of explaining to do when they got to Magnus's, Alec thought. When he thought that Jace was going to just stand there and listened, the blonde spoke steadily,

"He's not my underling. He's my friend. I know everybody at school thinks of me as a monster because I hit a boy and I've never stop telling that to myself. I am a monster." Jace took a step forward, towards Sebastian who now seemed to hesitate his next words. The blonde let out a sigh and proceeded,

"Things have change, Jonathan. I recommend you do the same." Something flickered in Sebastian's eyes when Jace used his other name. The blonde had turned around and was starting to walk away from Sebastian, taking a few steps thinking that Alec was following suit behind him when he heard the sound of glass smashed and shattering.

"Shit." It had come from both Alec and Sebastian, almost simultaneously and would've been funny if the scene before Jace's eyes as he turned wasn't as it was; Alec was sitting on the ground, his hand holding one side of his head and Sebastian standing wild-eyed, a half of what Jace thought as a bottle of beer still gripped firmly in his hand.

Things happened in a blur; one moment they were standing there, too shocked to move and the next second Jace had Sebastian pinned on the wall. A few punches collided on the dyed-auburn's face and in sheer seconds, Sebastian's cheekbone was bruised, his lips cracked and bloody and his left eye were swollen. Jace would've carried on if he didn't hear the small sound telling him,

"Let him go, Jace." Alec's voice held no pain yet his face was a grimace. The side of his head was bleeding heavily and the crimson fluid had flowed down onto his neck, staining the collar of his white school shirt. His blazer was hanging limply on his shoulder; his other shoulder was occupied with his bag.

"Idiot." Jace let go of the boy's collar and let him slide down the wall, too stunned to even stand on his feet. If it wasn't for Alec's sake, he'd at least spat a few other curses and remarks at Sebastian, maybe add some punches in his guts but all of the thought flew away when he saw Alec staggering on his feet.

"Whoa." Jace rushed towards his friend and held him steady. "Take it easy, Alec. He hit you pretty hard there." The blood was still oozing from the wound and Jace knew Alec needed a few stitches for it.

His hands reflexively grabbed the dark hair's shoulders when Alec stumbled and almost fell on his face.

"We need to get you to a doctor." Jace proposed.

"No…just take me…back to…M-Magnus." Alec struggled out his words. His visions were getting blurry and he was grateful at Jace for letting him leaned on the blonde. "Please…" He said, certain that the blonde wouldn't be able to deny him. Jace complied almost immediately and half carried the other guy all the way back to Magnus's apartment which was only two blocks away. Jace thanked the Angel for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I failed in trying to make a cliffhanger...:(
> 
> I just want to inform that the Jonathan in this chapter is a different person to Clary's brother, Jonathan. I only realized that I've used his name before after I wrote this chapter. But it was too perfect for me, so please accept it as it is. :)
> 
> Leave a review, as always and look out for the next one! :D


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tada! Chapter 12...Straight on reading! :)

Chapter 12

Part I: The Darkness Whitens

Izzy was sprawled on the couch, her legs stretched in front her and resting on Simon's lap who were sitting on the opposite end. They were watching some programme on the tv while Magnus along with Clary were sitting on the stool near the kitchen counter.

They've been waiting for Jace and Alec to arrive with their lunch so that they could get on with their 'studies'. The buzzer from the entrance sounded and rang clearly throughout the apartment. Izzy called for Magnus who came strutting from the kitchen, visibly annoyed with the sound. He waved his hand limply and said,

"I wasn't expecting anybody."

"Maybe it's your aunt." Izzy said disinterestedly, her eyes still set on the screen. Simon turned his head around so he could see the older guy clearer. He looked questioningly at Magnus, as if waiting for approval from his girlfriend's words.

"My aunt won't need to press the buzzer. She knows how to ring herself up." As Magnus's finished his sentences, the buzzer sounded again. It was impatient this time as it buzzed in a non-stop length, likely because of someone leaning on it. Suddenly, a voiced boomed through the intercom, sounding annoyed yet worried at the same time.

"Let us in, Magnus."

"That's Jace, isn't it?" Simon inquired.

Magnus frowned but he carried his legs to the intercom anyway, speaking "the top floor" into it to Jace. And then he walked out and closed the door behind him.

"Why didn't he just ask Alec? He lives here. He should know how to get in." Simon looked at his girlfriend who was slowly sitting up and appeared to be thinking something in her head. Clary came out from the kitchen and looked puzzled; her eyes undoubtedly searching for Magnus.

"He's outside waiting for Jace and Alec." Simon told her. At that moment, the door sprung open. Jace was the first to come in, looking ragged and messy, his uniform crumpled and his hair tousled. Yet he still looks hot, Clary blushed at her own thought.

Behind him was Magnus. But what they hadn't expected was to see Alec cradled in Magnus's arms. The sight of him bloodied and unconscious was enough for the girls to gasp and for Simon to stay frozen at his spot.

"Alec…oh my god." Izzy's voice was shaking. Her hand that was covering her mouth was trembling. Jace gently took Izzy by her arms and they moved away to let Magnus lay the precious form in his arms on the couch.

"Jace." He said. Magnus's voice was firmly steady. "The first aid, top shelf in the kitchen."

Jace obliged immediately, not forgetting to slip Clary a small smile. He almost didn't notice her standing there when he first came in.

"We need to get him to the hospital." Simon suggested but was cut off by Jace when he said,

"Alec said Magnus could help him." And then no more words were said, they watched in stillness as Magnus worked on Alec. The black-haired guy (the one that was not lying on the couch) was obviously calm and composed as his hands danced, giving the impression of knowing what to do and how to handle the injury.

After what seemed like a while, Simon spoke.

"Exactly how many times have you done this before?" Magnus's lips curled a little when he answered,

"This is my first. With blood." And then he said, "Usually it's just bruises and cuts."

"From fencing?" Magnus nodded. He had bandaged Alec's head after he was done with the cleansing and applying the ointment that was necessary. It wasn't a small cut but it wasn't deep either. The impact from whatever that hit Alec might be the cause he was out cold.

"We should take him to his room. He'll be more comfortable and we could get on with our revisions." Magnus was packing the first aid back to its original condition. He closed the lid and stood up, stretching a little bit after kneeling beside Alec for quite some times while he was attending him. He looked up and was dumbfounded to see the look on the others' face.

Izzy was still appalled and had to lean on Simon to keep her bearing straight. Jace and Clary were standing at the side, close to each other. He didn't comprehend the atmosphere until he remembered something that was much more important. He turned to the blonde, his face relaxed as he spoke,

"Or maybe we could sit down out here and let Jace explain what really happened while we wait for Alec to wake up." Magnus wasn't asking for approval; he slid his arms, one under the crook of Alec's knees and the other on the small of his back and carried him to his room. The others were still standing, unmoving from their site. Only until he laid Alec down on his bed did he noticed Izzy following him.

"I'll help change his cloth." Her weak yet clear voice struck something in Magnus's chest. He nodded, giving way to the girl-who always appeared to be strong and unbreakable but at the moment looked like she could shatter in small fragments-to reach to her brother. Of course, the sight of your own brother covered in blood doesn't leave a good memory. And then it dawned on Magnus, as if something big and huge collided with his body and knocked the air out of him; that was exactly how Max had looked like when they visited the morgue…

"Does Alec know?" She asked softly, too soft that Magnus had to strain his ears. Her hands were unbuttoning Alec's white shirt and peeling it off from him. "That you always clean up his wounds?"

He sighed quietly before saying,

"I don't know if he realized it yet. He was usually asleep when I tended him." Izzy smiled and brought her eyes to Magnus.

"He knows. Even in his sleep, he knows."

* * *

At first attempt, opening his eyes had been a very bad choice. The world spun around him, making him feel nausea. He'd quickly closed his eyes again and took a few deep breaths before slowly revealing his blue orbs to the world. He blinked a few times, not because his vision was fuzzy but rather because a dark silhouette was blocking his light.

"What happened?" Alec's voice sounded hoarse to his own ears. How long have I been sleeping? He thought.

"I should be asking you that." Another voice said. Magnus moved away from him but Alec could sense that he was sitting by his side. "How do you feel?" Magnus inquired.

"Dizzy." He said simply.

"Hmm. That was to be expected." Alec's eyes roamed around the room although there was nothing much he could see from his lying position; just the ceiling and the edge of his room's door.

"Where's Jace?" Alec recalled that they were walking to go to Magnus's and then nothing more. A figure walked in through the door and stopped at the other side of the bed, his hands in his pocket.

"I'm right here." The blonde answered. "How do you feel?"

"Dizzy." Another figure rushed into the room-probably from the sound of his voice-and gasped loudly.

"Oh my god, Alec!" It was Izzy. "Are you alright? Does your head hurt? How do you feel?" She fired question after question.

Alec flinched internally at his sister's voice. His head was still pounding and the nausea hadn't gone away.

"Dizzy." He answered back.

He noticed that Clary and Simon was in the room as well. The bespectacled boy spoke to Magnus with doubt in his tone.

"Magnus, are you sure you didn't mess with his head?" And then he looked at Alec bewilderedly. Magnus glowered at the brown-haired but he didn't seem to notice.

"You asked me the same question. What do you expect, choices of answers? How about this? A. I'm fine. B. I'm okay. C. I'm alright. Happy?" Alec shot at Simon.

"That's basically the same thing." Simon thought of saying but he held his tongue. Meanwhile, Jace snickered slightly and gave Alec a thoughtful look.

"It looks to me that everything's still intact. Nothing's messed." He grinned his wicked grin. "Or at least not that I know off." Alec tried to get up and involuntarily let out a groan. His head was worse than he'd initially thought but he quickly hid it by saying,

"God, give me some space guys." And without skipping a beat, the instant he was sitting upright, Izzy had her arms wound around her brother's neck. The air was forced out from Alec but he returned the embrace nonetheless, knowing that he'd scared his sister with the visual of him coming home bloodied.  _Home._

He patted Izzy's proud black long hair lovingly and saw that the rest of his friends were slowly and quietly retreating away from the room, giving space to the two siblings.

"I'm sorry." He could felt Izzy shuddering under his hug and he tightened his hold on her. Izzy had her face concealed from Alec but he knew what she was thinking. He let her be, staying in that position but never ceasing his gentle yet assuring caress on her.

"I'm sorry, Isabelle."

* * *

Magnus was standing in the kitchen facing the window that had a look out towards the city. From there, he could see one of the tall skyscrapers, enveloped with fibre glass windows that reflected the evening sky. In his hand he held a mug containing drinking water. One would've never noticed the slight tremble that was encasing his calloused fingers if they hadn't look close enough. Magnus had succeeded in keeping his features calm the moment he saw Jace coming out from the elevator, dragging Alec along with him.

He'd stay serene when he entered his apartment, carrying Alec like he was used to it and laying him down on the couch. The charade he pulled off was however slowly disintegrating before his own eyes when he'd watched Alec's face creased with discomfort, clearly showing that he was still in pain.

Magnus had been familiar with the situation; he'd been like Alec's second mother when they'd started living together. He was used to nursing Alec throughout his sickness and injuries, never missing one of them except for the wound in Alec's heart. No one was able to heal that. He'd face Alec's constant nightmares and grievance for the past two years, all related to his little brother. There was nothing else that Magnus had never seen from Alec.

"How is it different this time?" He thought to himself. Of course, he had never seen Alec getting injured to the point where blood was involved (at least not too much) but he knew that wasn't the case. He'd been able to treat him without too much fuss, no stammering and stuttering in his command and movements. He knew he wouldn't get too affected with the sight of blood so what was it? What was that feeling that crept ever so slowly and yet it managed to overpower his whole system?

"Magnus." Clary's voice brought him back from his ponder. She was standing directly beneath the archway that separated the kitchen from the living room. Clary looked so small, like she had always been the first time he saw her. Her red curls were still vibrant in colour, matching her never fading trust and hope in people around her.

"We're leaving. Simon's gonna drive me home and Jace is just next door to Simon." She said it flatly but she still inserted the extra info, making Magnus felt like he'd shown her his distressed side. His eyes followed as Clary took a few steps and closed their distance. Magnus put down the mug and moved towards her, his arms opened wide to embrace her. They stood there, hugging each other, not for themselves but for the two Lightwoods that they'd known almost half of their life.

"Should I be worried?" A voice made them turned their heads towards a direction. Jace was standing at Clary's previous spot, his arms crossed over his chest while his body was leaning on the wall. He had a tiny curl at the corner of his lips which would've caused girls to swoon if it wasn't for the worrying lines between his eyebrows.

"Alec's sleeping. Thanks to Izzy." Jace spoke again as Clary let go of Magnus and walked to his side. Magnus simply nodded and said,

"I'll walk you guys out." They all headed back to the living room where Izzy was whispering softly at Simon. He was holding his bag and looked ready to leave. The two sent them out to the elevator and watched as their friends disappeared behind the closing door.

"I'm going to call for take-outs. You want anything?" Izzy looked at Magnus.

"Just the usual." They sauntered back inside and Izzy grabbed the phone, dialling the restaurant. Magnus slowly walked back to Alec's room and stood beside his bed. The lights were off but the rays of sunset managed to pass through the split of the curtains. They fell perfectly on Alec's pale face which gave Magnus the reward of tracing Alec's pastel features.

He descended slowly so that he was kneeling and stared at Alec. He took in all of his traits and complexion. He felt his heart stutter at the sight of the bandage and his mind was brought back to his musing earlier.

_I am hurting because you are._

He brought his hand up and carefully brushed the raven hair, making them looked straighter and tidier.

_I can't keep lying, Alec. Not to myself._

Magnus then lowered his hand so that his fingers were on Alec's cheekbone, outlining it like a part of a painting.

_I've fallen yet again and this time, it's for real._

I've fallen for Alexander Lightwood…

Part II: Here Comes The Truth

Alec and Jace were sitting at what had become their regular meeting spot during lunch break. They had been doing tons of exercises for the blonde to grasp what it meant with Algebra when Alec said that he wanted to rest. Jace genuinely complied, feeling a headache coming up from the constant tortures with numbers.

"Care to share with me about that Sebastian guy?" Alec looked at Jace with the kind of look that you pull when you're talking with your siblings.

"We used to hang-out together, me and him. Before you know…" He trailed off.

"I know that much already." Alec stated. "Why is he so mad at you that he wanted to smack you with a beer bottle?" Alec asked.

"He what?"

"He was aiming for you, Jace."

_When Jace had completely turned and started to walk away, Alec let his eyes lingered on the other boy, the one that was seething. He was about to take a step forward when he saw the Sebastian grabbed something from the ground and dashed towards Jace with his hands held up high. Before any of them knew what happened, Alec felt his head knock by the side and fell to the ground, stars circling his vision._

_"Shit." He'd say when he heard the exact same word came out from Sebastian's mouth. "It wasn't supposed to be you…" He whispered._

"You mean you…" He lagged off. Alec carried on by saying,

"He's got quite a grudge on you. I felt it all over my head." He was joking but no sound came from Jace. The blonde was staring hard at his friend, showing mild anger and concern at the same time.

"Why did you do that? You could've got killed." Alec didn't respond to that. He let his gaze wandered towards the lamp poll, searching for the sight of a silhouette who he suspected was that particular person.

"I have something on this afternoon." Alec spoke after a while.

"You mean we're not learning later?" Jace asked almost too excitedly.

"Eager I see." Jace covered his face theatrically before exclaiming,

"Oh god! Was that too obvious?"

"Plainly visible." Alec remarked, adding a slight chuckle in his speech.

* * *

Alec was standing in front of Taki's, contemplating his choice. Squaring his shoulder, he stood on his ground and entered the place. He spotted the person sitting near the window and strolled over to him. He sat down facing his former coach.

"Hello, Alec. How've you been?" His voice hoarse and rough as Alec remembered it. Mr. Mortmain had ordered a cup of coffee for Alec, his usual liking; black and no sugar while he himself was having what Alec suspected to be Chinese green tea.

"I've been better." He answered stoically. He tried to keep his expression neutral, not trusting his eyes on his nerves. They stayed that way for a few minutes; Alec sitting still while the older guy sipped occasionally on his drink.

"Why did you send that boy after Jace?" Alec watched the man in front him. He looked as tranquil as he always did and Alec tried not to feel challenged with that.

"Ah…You mean Sebastian? He didn't quite deliver a good job, I see." Mr. Mortmain eyed the bandage on Alec's head. "I told him precisely to keep you out of it. I'm sorry Alec."

"What are you trying to do, sir?" The word was out before Alec could stop himself. Even after so long, he still couldn't get rid of the honorific. He was rewarded with a smile from his coach. His  _former_  coach.

"You see Alec, unlike Nathan; you know what's best and what's not. I like you for that. You are…smart." He took a sip from his cup.

"And I've always thought you were more careful." Alec hid the sound of amusement at the back of his throat.

"Nathan was repulsive." Mr. Mortmain said, clearly disgusted with the memory of that young boy. "If only I knew he wasn't as strong as you are in the means of endurance."

"What does this has to do with Jace?" Alec asked.

"Everything. Jace had been a mole in my team." The older guy answered.

Alec didn't attempt to hide his feelings then when he said,

" _Your_  team? What you did was wrong. It was inexcusable."

"And only now you're complaining." Mr. Mortmain brought his hands up and rested it below his chin. "Tell me Alec, if you think it was wrong, why haven't I heard you telling the school that you were drugged as well?" The older man was taunting him, Alec knew that. They both were very well aware why Alec couldn't tell. Even if he did report, there was no one who could defend him. He wasn't living with his parents.

"I care for you, Alec." Mr. Mortmain proceeded. "You've always been the best the first time I set my eyes on you."

"What do you want?" Alec stared at the person in front him, hard.

"I don't want anything from you Alec. All I want is for you to take my advice and stay away from that Herondale boy." The younger boy widened his blue eyes.

"Trust me, it's for the best." The man continued. "Remember when I told you that when Jace arrived he'd brought all his past with him, even the dark ones?" Alec kept silent.

"I know you're aware about him being involved in an accident two years ago. Don't you think it's a coincidence?" He paused there, studying Alec's face as he said,

"The year that your brother died…" Alec felt himself stopped breathing. His heart was screaming that his coach was lying but his head was already mending up the connections. He stood up sharply, knocking the edge of the table but he paid it no mind. He blocked the rest of his coach's word as he walked off from there. He almost succeeded.

"You know I've never liked that new boy, don't you? I knew something was bound to happen with him around." With those last words, Alec went off and headed straight to Magnus's place.

* * *

"Jace! Someone's here to see you, honey!" He heard his mother's voice the instant he stepped out from the bathroom.

"Just a sec!" He wondered who it could be while putting on a new pair of trousers and a plain white shirt before descending down the stairs. Jace saw his mother in the kitchen, preparing their dinner when she looked up and told him,

"He's waiting for you outside, dear. I told him to come in but he said he won't be long."

"Do you know who he is?" Jace asked, confused. Cecily shook her head and nudged her chin towards the front door, a motion for Jace to not keep the person waiting. He paced straight to the front door and stopped when he saw that familiar auburn hair and the swollen face.

"You came here for more of that?" Jace snarled at Sebastian who merely scoffed back at the blonde. "Look, I don't have all evening to grace you with my presence. So if you may." The blonde swayed his hand floppily at Sebastian's direction and made as if it looked like he was going to turn away.

"Glad to see that attitude of yours is still there." Sebastian chuckled. "Tell me, does Alec appreciate you acting that way?" Jace's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed on Sebastian's face.

"I didn't know you were interested in being friends with Alec. I would've introduced you to him in a proper situation where it does not involve hitting or punching." Jace uttered those words without forgetting to gird them with sarcasm.

"Oh I'm not interested, really." Sebastian shook his head in mocking denial. "I just want to know how you could still be around him after what you've done."

"And what exactly have I done?" Jace unconsciously tripped into Sebastian's trap.

"Nothing much, really. You basically just knocked him to death," said Sebastian.

"What are you blabbering about?" Jace half shouted. He knew his mother could hear him and he didn't want her to listen to their conversation. Something seemed to settle on Sebastian's expression as he grinned widely and said,

"Why don't you go ask about that kid you hit? It'll make things easier." And with that, he walked away, leaving a flustered and confused Jace on his doorsteps. After what seemed like a few minutes, Jace rushed off towards Simon's house and knocked on the door. Elaine Lewis was visibly startled to see him but she didn't fail to greet him with her smile.

"Jace, Simon's not at home-" He cut her off before she was done.

"Who was that person two years ago? The one that I hit?" He choked on his own words.

"Jace," Elaine began gently, "you don't have to-"He interrupted her for the second time.

"I just need to know that person's name." He forced the words out as if they were too heavy to be said. Elaine had a frown on her face but she answered Jace truthfully,

"I don't really remember. It's been a while since you got out." Desperation was all over Jace's features. "You still keep the court's letters?" She asked, looking at Jace who blinked before nodding.

"It should be written in there." Jace didn't waste a second. After thanking Elaine, he rushed back into his house and stopped at the landing of the stair, saying,

"I'll be down in a few minutes mom," before he stormed to his rooms, his eyes wildly searching for that brown envelope. They halted on his desk, gazing at what appeared to be the edge of something brown, poking out among the rest of other envelopes on the table as if making itself known.

Jace grabbed the brown enveloped rather harshly and stared at the court stamp for a moment before flipping it. His eyes traced the outlined of the envelope's seal, still glued tightly, waiting to be open. He slowly brought his fingers over it and peeled the envelope open…

* * *

Alec was barely conscious of his own feet carrying him back to Magnus's apartment. He was not aware of the looks that were shot at him when he'd pushed his way through the crowds or when he'd crossed the street when the light was green. He scarcely heard the sound of honking and the shouts that he got as his head played with the words he'd just heard.

He hardly realized that he was already in the elevator, moving up towards the top floor until it 'ping', signalling his arrival. He noticed that he was somewhat trembling, his hand were shaking as he turned the knob and pushed the door opened. Magnus and Izzy weren't there, the space empty and vacant.

He made his way to his room soundlessly, contrast to his wildly beating heart beats that seemed to pump blood too fast and yet there weren't enough air for him to breathe. When he was inside, he locked the door before opening his drawer; his hand looked pale to his own eyes as he grasped the file that his mother gave him only a few months ago. It still looked the same for him except for the feeling of estrange and foreign that was all over it as he took out the documents in it.

He scanned the papers one by one, scrutinizing them under his sharp and bitter gaze before stopping at a particular line. There, right at the corner of the right side of the paper under the column of offender was written the words he'd begged to be wrong, the lettering that he'd prayed all the way to Magnus's wasn't as it was, the name that he'd wished was someone else's name.

For what was written in that column were two familiar words in block letter…

_JACE HERONDALE_


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here it is, chapter 13! This whole chapter is based on Alec's point of view and flashbacks from the event two years ago. The part is alternative; one moment it's Alec's pov and the next will be the flashbacks. I hope that's not too confusing. Enjoy reading and have a great day! :)

Chapter 13

Part I: Beginning To End

Alec POV

I only realized that I like boys when I was 13. The sight of Magnus that greeted me was all it took for me to understand why girls never prospered in gaining my attention. We became friends, with me holding onto ropes of hope that he would return my feelings one day.

I never told anybody about it. I kept it to myself. Izzy only found out when she tried to hook me up with one of her cheerleading friends in high school. I'd said to her no, hoping that she could see the reasons through my eyes. She did, telling me "I get it," and suffocating me with one of her bear hugs. I love her for that. She was one of the people who could really make me feel like I was precious in every form.

The other person was Magnus. He was an only child who seeks for company that his father couldn't provide him. And I entered his life, acting as his saviour in shining armour when the truth was; I had been the one who was saved. There was no other boy who made me feel the way Magnus did. He effortlessly managed to block every single one of them without realizing it, for as long as he stayed in front of me, there won't be another.

It was just a crush, as simple as that. I knew I might grew out of him but I savoured every moment, knowing that it would never last for I've witnessed myself how Magnus only see me as a friend. But my gaze on him never faltered. The smile that was only meant for him was always there at the corner of my lips, waiting for his very presence to come and claim it. I was careful not to let him see it because I didn't want him to feel burden. I kept myself on the line and treaded carefully.

But I wasn't careful enough. I tried so hard to hide it from him that I forgot we weren't the only person in the world. Others could see it as well. Others who had managed to look close enough and guessed. That's how Lily came along. She saw through me, saying that the look on my face was supposed to be meant for a girl. She knew that my world was meant for Magnus and she took advantage of it. I denied her, saying that I never like Magnus and in returned, she asked me to prove it to her.

That's how we ended up being couple. We were 16 and she was smarter, braver. She knew she could do anything to me and that I will bow to her every desire. It started off as a challenge really. We both wanted to know who'd last longer in that fake relationship; the girl with a stubborn heart or the boy who had everything to lose. We played around for sometimes, me trying hard to ignore Magnus and Lily fluently played her part. I didn't know that I was playing with fire. And that the fire was slowly advancing, its target was me.

* * *

"Izzy, wake up! We're going to be late if you don't get up soon." Alec was shaking his sister's shoulder gently. Izzy mumbled out something that sounded too similar to a curse word.

"Don't let Max hear you saying those words. I don't want you to corrupt his pure mind." Alec spoke in his brotherly tone at Izzy who was slowly sitting up.

"Why do you have to be so annoying in the morning?" She yawned, her hands too lazy to cover her mouth. "I'm awake. Now get out so I can get change."

"Don't be too long. Mom's driving us today." Alec walked out from his sister's room and shut the door. He then walked a few steps before stopping in front another door; Max's room. He knocked a few times and said,

"Max? Are you ready?" The door opened to reveal the youngest of the Lightwoods all cleaned up and dressed except for his tie. Max was attending Idris elementary school just across the road from Institute High; Alec's and Izzy's school. Alec was already in his proper uniform when he crossed the room and stood in front of his brother.

"Where is your tie?" Alec looked at Max.

"It's over there." The mini-version of Alec pointed towards his bed while his other hand was busy buttoning his shirt and tucking them into his pants. Max's hair was still ruffled and he wasn't wearing his glasses. Alec grabbed the tie and kneeled facing Max, telling him to stand still while he knots the red tie expertly.

"Why can't I do it like you do? You always make it look good." He pouted. Max eyed his older brother's fingers as they fixed the collar of his shirt. He watched as Alec took his comb and started to get through the tangles in his dark hair that looked identical with Alec's in terms of colour.

"There you go." Alec set the comb down. "Now you're all ready for school." He flashed Max a sweet smile before handing him his glasses. Max put them on and blinked a few times before smiling back at his brother. He looked adoringly at him, as if Alec was a superhero or something.

"Let's go."

They walked down the stairs together, bags on their back and Max's small hand secured in Alec's protective one. Izzy was already at the front door, her uniform neatly wore and her hair tidily tucked into a ponytail. She was examining her nails when she noticed that they were coming down.

"Dad wants to talk to you." She said to Alec. "Come Max, we'll wait in the car. Mom's waiting." She took Max's hand and exited the house. Alec didn't need to ask where his father was, Robert Lightwood was always in his study which was a few spaces at the back of the house if he wasn't around his family.

He knocked politely on the door before pushing it open.

"Dad, can I come in?" Alec courteously asked. He saw the older Lightwood nodded and he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"Izzy said you wanted to talk to me." Robert Lightwood was facing his laptop, his hands busy typing and his eyes glanced at his eldest son before focusing back on the screen.

"I need you to walk your brother home after school today. Mother and I have some meeting to attend." He changed his gaze and directed it on his son. "Can you do that for me?"

"What about Izzy?" Alec asked.

"Izzy's having her cheerleading practice this afternoon. Didn't she tell you?" Robert asked his son. Alec shook his head before saying,

"I'll get going then." Before the door completely closed behind him, Alec heard his father spoke.

"Study hard." He nodded to himself, a habit he'd done every time his parents told him that. He rushed to the front door, knowing they were going to be late if they didn't get going soon. He shut the front door and entered the front seat next to the driver, carving a loving smile to his mother. They went off.

"Izzy, you're having a practice later?" Alec turned his head towards his sister whose hands were busy fiddling with her new cell phone. Izzy looked up at her brother and scrunched her eyebrow, trying to comprehend the simple question that was asked.

"Oh! Yeah. I forgot to tell you." She answered honestly.

"That's fine." Alec replied. He looked at his younger brother next to Izzy. His head was down, his eyes trained at the book on his lap.

"I'm walking you home later, Max. You wait up for me, alright?" He waited until he was sure his words reached Max's ears and saw a nod given to him. Alec's 'brotherly' smile decorated his young face until he turned facing the road and glanced at his mother. Maryse Lightwood was always focused on her driving. He knew better than to disrupt that concentration so he paid attention on the road as well.

Maryse stopped at the side of Max's school and watched as her children got out. Max was already walking past the school gate and Izzy was standing at the roadside, waiting for her brother who was still in his seat.

"Alexander, there's something I have to remind you." Maryse spoke softly at her son but her stare said otherwise.

"What is it mother?" Alec asked respectfully, knowing that his parents only used his full name in a serious conversation.

"I know you're seeing a girl and I know you're performance is still among the top." She began, noticing the slight widening in Alec's eyelids. He'd kept his relationship with Lily a secret from his parents. "But I want you to focus. You're still young, there's a lot of time for you to have fun but this isn't one of it." She proceeded, never taking her identical blue eyes off her son's watery ones.

"I haven't told Robert about it but I'd prefer if it stays unknown to him." Maryse waited for a sign of respond from Alec but all she got was a weak nod. Alec brought up his face and looked at his mother before saying,

"How did you know?"

"I'm your mother. Of course I know." She answered unhesitant. Alec knew then she was lying but he brushed it off with a smile.

"You know I won't disappoint you. I promise." Alec said before exiting the car and walked to the school with Izzy by her side.

"I hope you won't." Maryse whispered to herself before driving off to a direction.

* * *

_There are some things that you can't expect to learn from your teachers at school or the lectures your parents gave you when you did something wrong. Those are the things that are meant to be discovered, even in the hardest way there is. What matters is that you escaped it unscarred. But you know that's not possible, when the wounds that hurt you could not be seen in any form except for yourself. And that is a wound that struck deep into you, healing in a matter of time._

* * *

When the bell rang, Alec quickly got his books into his bag and walked out of the school. In front of the Idris elementary school gates, he could make out his younger brother already waiting for him. His steps begun with the usual self-collected posture he was taught to have as he made his way towards Max.

"Alec!"

The voice that caught his ears made him stopped in his track and turned around. The owner was making fast pace towards him, insensibly making the boy he was looking at to feel suddenly choked and suffocated.

"Magnus." Alec breathed out. His heart started pounding only a little irregular now that he learnt how to control himself whenever he was with Magnus. The other guy was smiling at him expectantly. When Magnus got to his side, he looked over again at his brother to make sure he was still there.

"Lily told me to get you and bring you to the cafeteria." Magnus said, a little breathlessly. "Hang out a little while before we all go home." His amber eyes shone a little too brightly and made Alec looked away for a second before he answered,

"I need to walk Max home today." Alec could hear the disappointment in his own voice but he knew it was his responsibility as an older brother.

"Oh…" Was Magnus's respond. He seemed dismayed as well and Alec felt a sort of conflict coming up in his brain.

"Maybe I'll just stay for a while?" He proposed, watching Magnus's expression all the time. The other guy instantly lit up and dragged his friend towards the cafeteria, not noticing that Alec kept glancing back at the school gates.

Although the school had ended for the day, there were still some other students lingering around in the halls or classrooms. Alec saw Lily sitting on a table near the cafeteria's window that look out to the teachers' parking space. She was eating something that she'd ordered and had her headphones on, evidently listening to some music.

"Hey Lily! Where's Camille?" Magnus asked the blonde haired girl as he sat facing her. Alec took a sit next to her, a habit he'd come around with since they started 'seeing' each other. Lily's head snapped up at the sight of the two boys sitting with her and it was clear that she hadn't caught Magnus's question.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?" She looked at Magnus before taking off the headphones.

"I asked you where's Camille. I thought you said she'd be here." Magnus's head whipped around the cafeteria, looking for the person whose name he'd repeated twice. Alec couldn't help but looked around as well, not because he was curious but he was more resolute in trying to hide his deteriorating expression.

"Sorry about that." Lily began. She'd pushed away her tray of foods and was getting a book out of her bag. "They have a cheer practice and Camille left already. I just found out about it."

"Are you for real?" Magnus threw his hands up. He was always the kind of person that would act dramatically whenever the chance was given to him. "Then how am I supposed to ask her out?"

That really got Alec's attention although he didn't miss the smirk from Lily. They were playing the game again. "Don't worry. You'll get her next time." She said, looking up from her book and giving Magnus her very own sweet smile. Magnus looked at her with an unaffectionate look before saying,

"You better be right, Lily." Alec didn't know how long he could stay seated in that space and he started to doubt his decision in making Max waiting for him.

"I should get going. Max's waiting for me." He was about to get up and walked away when Lily took hold of his wrist.

"Wait a minute. Come on, it's not like every day we get to hang out like this." She gave him a meaningful look that made Alec feels like smacking her hands off his.

"I really need to go." Alec pressed on. Lily let go of him but she didn't stop at that. She said,

"Alright, then. Don't be mad at me if I told Magnus some of  _your secrets_." Alec knew she was going to threaten him with that but he also knew that if she really wanted to tell, she'd done it long time ago. He simply greeted them goodbye and walked to the school gates, in hope that his brother was still waiting for him.

He wasn't. Max wasn't where he was minutes ago when Alec got outside the school. He looked around; trying to detect a smaller boy with dark haired wearing glasses but the street was empty. Cars were no longer passing by since the last bell had gone off moments ago.

Alec didn't know what happened next but his feet started carrying him down the road towards his house. He started walking by the sidewalk, thinking that Max must had thought he'd forgotten and walked home on his own.

He was right when he saw the very sight of his younger brother a few steps ahead of him, struggling to get past a crowd of people along the sidewalk.

"Max!" He called out but the street was too loud for his voice to be heard. Alec quickened his pace and realized that he was only distances away from Max when he saw his brother got pushed by one of the walkers. Max slipped and he staggered onto the road filled with cars. One of it came right at him.

Everything slowed down. When the street was too loud, it suddenly became eerily quiet for one young boy. Every single soul that passed him didn't matter as he stood frozen, his blue eyes watched as his younger brother's lithe body flew a few meters after he got hit and he landed on the cold tar, his head knocked hard against it…

"Max…" Alec struggled out. When he felt like he'd stood rigid for a few seconds, his knees gave way before he managed to pull himself up and ran towards his brother lying on the road.

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh god." When Alec reached him, he held Max in his lap, his upper body cradled in his arms that were supposed to be protecting him. Max's glasses were a few feet away from them.

"Max, please…Please…" He started crying. Everything else seemed to blur around him. He looked down at his brother, noticing the trail of blood coming down from his nose and after a few ticks, Max stopped moving entirely. Alec didn't let go. He saw nothing but his brother. He held onto him for how long, he didn't know. Then the ambulance arrived and people tried to pry him off his brother.

"Don't touch him." He said in between his sobs. He didn't want to say it himself but he knew it was pointless. He felt it the moment Max's soul left his body. He cried harder when someone grabbed him by the shoulder and his hold on Max was released.

Alec heard someone said to him that they'll get him to the hospital but he only stared and watched helplessly as the ambulance drove away. He was aware that the ambulance had carried off his brother but he didn't know this; another soul with a beating heart was rushed to the hospital at the same time in the same ambulance. That soul had been watching him the moment she was carried out from the car that had knocked the young boy before she lost consciousness from the world.

* * *

I remembered vividly what happened next. I was sitting in the waiting hall of the hospital when I saw my parents and my sister came rushing in through the sliding door.

My mom was crying her eyes out; her words were jumbled and incoherent. Robert was standing rigidly, listening to one of the hospital staff while my sister was barely holding onto my mother's arm, shaking terribly due to her non-stop wailing and sobbing. None of them noticed me.

When they started to move to the morgue room, I followed quietly in steps behind them. The nurse pushed the door opened and led them to where Max was laid. The nurse then removed the white sheet on my brother's body to reveal his already pale face to my family.

Even my father started crying at the sight of his youngest son. They held onto each other, my father's arms wrapping my mother and my sister firmly in his hold while I watched from behind. My eyes were locked on Max's face. I was tracing him for the very last time so that I could remember, so that I won't forget how he looked like.

Ever since that day, I would always found myself staring in the mirror, looking for any sign of Max's resemblance in my own older face. Aside from the hair, I couldn't seek anything else that belonged to Max. He was perfect in his own way. And that was how I realized, why my parents won't look at me.

After we got out from the hospital, Robert drove us straight home. Nobody said anything. The funeral was scheduled on the next day afternoon. My father opened the front door and let Maryse walked in. He followed her inside and I watched as Izzy got in as well. I closed the door behind me and stopped at my spot.

"Izzy…" Before I could even begin, she was already shouting at me. Izzy was holding onto the stairs, knowing herself would let slip her hard features at seeing my face but she held on tight. I let her said anything she wanted and I just listened.

"How could you?! You're our brother! You were supposed to walk him home! You were supposed to keep him safe! And now look at him. He's dead…" And then she started crying again. She brought herself down and sat slumped at the end of the staircase, bawling her tears out. She was still in her cheerleader's uniform.

I stepped forward cautiously at her, afraid that she would get even smaller and smaller in my eyes if I made the wrong move. When I tried to reach out and touch her shoulder, she recoiled away from me and curled even more in her position. Izzy had her face hid but I knew she was crying. I let my hand fell to my side and dropped my head down. I said to my sister,

"I'm sorry." I didn't expect her to answer me but she did, and she surprised me even more with her words.

"Tell that to Max."

Tears stung at the back of my eyes but I forced it out of the way and bit my lips. I walked up the stairs, leaving my sister at the bottom of it, knowing there's nothing I could do to comfort her except for me to let her grieve alone.

I stopped when I reached the door of my parents' room. My hand was about to knock when my mind had me think twice.

_What would you have to say for yourself?_

I heard a soft sound coming from the other end of the hall and I walked towards it, getting more familiar with the voice that was whispering softly. My mother was sitting on Max's bed and hugging his blanket tightly in her hands.

"My boy…my little boy…" I couldn't watch anymore so I fled to my room and locked the door before sliding down behind it. I was wrong when I thought there were no more tears for me to cry. My visions went fuzzy not a minute later and I struggled hard to keep my cry from escaping my lips. I brought my hand to my right side pocket and hooked something out. It was Max's glasses. It surprised me that the glasses were perfectly fine when I brought it to eye-level.

I held it in my as I wept for my brother's death, knowing that the entire house was grieving as well. Before I closed my eyes that tragic night, I kept repeating those words to myself…

_It was my fault._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noticed there was only one part? The next one will be up tomorrow if you give me your lovely reviews! *kisses


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 14! Thanks for the reviews my awesome readers. You guys are amazing. Just for your info, this chapter is pretty much the continuation from the last one. Enjoy and have a nice day! :)

Chapter 14

Part I: Learning To Stay Hurt

Alec walked slowly back towards his house. The cemetery wasn't too far away from it and he'd stayed behind at Max's grave when his family left. The sky was starting to get darker and darker, the only light was the small horizontal line of reddish-yellow circling the orbit as a sign of residue from the sunset that day.

He stopped in front of the doorstep for a few minutes, taking slow deep breath of air that seemed never enough for him to inhale. Admittedly, he was scared. He was afraid of what would come to him. He was terrified just thinking how he could go home and try to be a perfect son again. Well at least not perfect, more like next to perfect. Maybe not even close, he thought.

"Where have you been?"

Alec's head whipped around after he closed the door behind him. The last thing he would have expected was to see his mother sitting in the living room with only the table light's on, looking like she'd been waiting for him.  _Waiting_.

Alec didn't respond. He was too shocked at the moment that he couldn't comprehend the simple question.

"I asked you where have you been. Are you not going to talk me as well?" Izzy had shut herself off the last time Alec saw her on the staircase. She wouldn't speak to anybody.

"N-no…I was at the cemetery." Alec said. He noticed that although she'd asked him of his whereabouts, she wasn't looking at him. She was staring at some shadows casted on the walls in front her. Alec's shadow.

"Why? So you could hurt your brother even more?!" Her voice raised a few notes and Alec let his eyelids droop. He didn't dare to cry, at least not in front of his parents and sister. He didn't feel like he deserved to show it.

"Mom-"

"I trusted you with my son. Robert told you to walk him home and you couldn't…" She trailed off. Alec knew she wasn't finished so he stayed quiet.

"Why, Alexander?" She asked weakly, her whole body slumped even further in the chair. She had looked older in only a couple of days. Maryse's hair was unnaturally disarrayed and she had taken off her black gown from the funeral.

"You promised me…" Those words that came from Maryse struck her eldest son deep through his chest without slicing any skin or spilling his blood but it hurt the same.

Alec was about to say something when his head turned to the staircase and watched his father stepped down from it.

"Father-"

"Don't call me that." He sharply said, not looking at him. "Maryse, up to the room. Now." He commanded. The two males watched as Maryse walked straight up the stairs and shut the door behind her. Robert started turning as well, heading towards the stairs but he stopped when he heard a voice from behind him said,

"Dad." Alec called him but he didn't turn. "Why won't you look at me?" They young boy asked.

"You disappointed me. What else could I say?" Robert replied, turning only slightly to glance at his eldest son from the corner of his eyes before continuing,

"My sons' are dead. My youngest was killed because of a stupid mistake and the other was gone before I even knew it." With that, Robert left Alec alone standing in the middle of the room, partially realizing how much his word would cost him his eldest boy.

Alec on the other hand was suddenly feeling so tired and fatigue. His head spun for a while before it calmed down again. He didn't know when had he climbed the stairs or got to his room but he didn't care. He'd made up his mind to get out from there. He couldn't stay in the same space knowing that he'd kill himself before anyone else could. So he ran. To the only place he could. Magnus's place.

* * *

_Don't make promises you can't keep. Even when people tell you that those are the best kind, think twice before breaking it. It'll make it easier and it'll hurt much lesser. My point is; it will still hurt in the end._

* * *

Alec's decision only faltered for a couple of minutes before he pressed himself up towards Magnus's floor. He'd been there a couple of times and surprisingly, Magnus's aunt seemed to favour him more than Magnus's old buddy, Ragnor. Alec remembered her telling him something about being wild and crude.

When he reached the top floor, Alec couldn't help but hesitated even more when he realized he was only a few steps away from knocking on Magnus's door.

_What would he say? Will he even let me stay? His aunt won't like it, I suppose._

Those were only in his head for a small amount of second before he remembered w _hy_  in the first place he was even there. He was standing directly in front of Magnus's door; all he had to do was reach up and knocked a few times. But he didn't. Not because he didn't want to but the door had opened before he got the chance to knock.

"Alec?" Magnus sounded totally surprised to Alec. He saw the amber eyes travelled from the edge of his hair and downwards to his shoes, taking in his appearance. Alec was still in his funeral clothes which were soaked thanks to the rain that had decided to fall the moment he was outside his house. No longer my house, he reminded himself.

He tried saying something to Magnus, but no words escaped his lips. He knew he probably looked very miserable at the moment but that didn't stop him from crying. Magnus didn't notice it at first due to the rain streaks on Alec's wet face but he realized it when he saw the guy standing in front him brought his head down and his shoulder shook uncontrollably.

Alec truly didn't expect Magnus's next moves. The taller boy grabbed him by the arm and pulled him inside, enveloping him in the warmth of Magnus's cosy curb. Magnus then stayed standing facing Alec, and let the blue eyed boy rested his head on his shoulder.

"Alec…" Magnus whispered to him but he couldn't bring his head up. Startlingly, Magnus let him. They stood there, not caring about the time that was passing by until Alec sneezed.

"You need to get out from those." Alec saw Magnus eyed him before walking away towards his room; not forgetting to make sure Alec was stable enough to stand on his own. Magnus had been supporting most of his weight for the previous minutes, even when it was only Alec's head that was on his shoulder.

"Here. You should fit." Magnus returned with a pair of black pants and a plain blue t-shirt which suited Alec's preferences. He knew he was in no place to demand for anything but at least it wasn't too colourful like the one Magnus was wearing.

"Thanks." Alec took only a moment to get out from his drenched clothes and changed into Magnus's dry ones. When he got out from the bathroom, he saw Magnus in the kitchen.

"Where's your aunt?" Alec looked around, only remembering the older lady's absence.

"She's on call tonight." Magnus answered. "Take a sit. I'll be right there." Magnus nudged his chin towards the living room. Alec lightly strolled towards the couch and sat down. He leaned in further into it, making himself looked packed and slumped. Magnus came in carrying a mug of what Alec assumed to be hot coffee. Magnus knew his addiction towards caffeine even after he found out the bad effects of consuming it too often.

Magnus put the mug down and sat just close enough next to Alec. Silence settled between them, the only sound in the room was their regular breathing and the ticking of the clock on the wall. Magnus then leaned back as well and he moved Alec's head so that it was resting on Magnus's shoulder.

"I'm so tired, Magnus." Alec broke the silence in his quiet whisper.

"I know." Magnus said. The tv was off and the two was staring at it blankly.

"Magnus, will you let me stay?" asked Alec, still in that same exhausted tone. No sound came from the other guy and Alec thought for a while that of course Magnus couldn't let him stay. He doesn't belong there. He doesn't belong anywhere.

"Stay. I want you to." Alec didn't know whether he was imagining it or not if it wasn't for the slight vibrations coming from Magnus's body when he spoke.

"Alright." Alec could actually felt rather than see Magnus smile and just like that, he'd spent his first night in Magnus's apartment with his head on the said guy's shoulder, sleeping with his still grief and misery all over him and he never once forget the promise he'd made in front of Max's grave.

Part II: Trying To Undo The Damage Done

Alec POV

I ended things with Lily and she didn't argue. I didn't know if she felt guilty as well that she moved away but I knew she was sorry. I was too.

I watched at the side line as my own life played out in front of me. I remembered how it took me more than six months to recover things with Izzy and it was only possible thanks to Clary. She helped both of us find our way back to each other. She didn't need to know that I never left the guilt that had become too comforting to me; those were just mine to keep to myself.

As things moved along, Magnus made Camille his girlfriend and I couldn't be happier. Who am I kidding? My whole world seemed to tear apart even more than it already was and he didn't know. He stood there; always next to me when I needed him but the truth was, the hurt worsen as he came closer.

So I shut everybody out. I pushed away any possible progress in my social life and build a strong and firm wall yet invincible to the whole world. My sister knew I wasn't the same the moment I changed. Magnus knew because I lived with him. People from school hardly noticed, although the thought of a brother who failed to save his little brother could destroy him might had crossed their minds.

I was destroyed. But I showed it in another way. I rose up from my position and got higher grades as I divulged myself in studies and readings. I trained harder in fencing and coach started supplying me with those drugs. They gave me side effects at first; nausea, fever, vomiting but then I'd felt the rush and excitement the moment it worked on me. And I lose myself to the world.

I knew Magnus wouldn't comment anything about my health. I hadn't been well since the night I got to his apartment. I had fever the next day due to the rain and nightmares haunted me almost every night which made me sick and insomnia kicked in. That's where I found my extra time to study. I lost weight, but not too much. It was considerably normal after what happened.

Before - when I was simply having crushes on Magnus, there wasn't anything that made me feel insecure and in danger. He was always where I wanted him to be; right next to me. Even after he started going out with Camille, he was always there as a friend. Even that didn't hurt anymore like it used to.  _Friend._

What I hadn't expected was to feel myself giving in to his every action, letting him treat me the way I didn't deserve to and making me feel  _loved_ again. And then it hit me; it wasn't just mere crush anymore. That was the truth. And that was what that had me felt like I was walking on fire. I was there every moment they shared kisses and held their hands together, like there was no tomorrow. I never imagined them nor do I ever wish for them to break up. I couldn't, not when I knew Magnus was happy.

But seeing him with Camille made me felt crestfallen yet assured at the same time. I was certain that with Camille around, I won't have to fight too hard with myself. I set the boundaries and I drew the line. I was sure that I could finally kept my promise with Max. I would never forget the reason that had caused me to lose my brother. And I never did.

Everything was well until Jace came.

My first thought when I saw him was Max. He reminded me of my younger brother but I never told him that. Our very first training session together was what that had made me realized something and had dared me to open up even just a little of the door that encased that solid wall of mine.

* * *

Alec had been waiting for Jace for about ten minutes when the blonde arrived in the training room. More like dragged. Simon was pushing the older guy into the training room who looked annoyed while the brown haired seemed rather pleased with his own effort. When he was sure that Jace would not attempt to escape, he said,

"Have fun, Jace. Don't go too hard on him, Alec!" The last part, Simon had said it with his head facing backwards at Alec as he walked away. He knew they weren't really close enough yet but the slight conversation they had shared in the library made Simon a little less nervous with Alec.

"So," Jace began, "where should we start?"

"I suggest we begin with push-ups as punishment for your tardiness." Alec said nonchalantly.

"You said to be here at 2. I'm here." Jace retorted.

"You're late." Alec shot back.

"I'm not late." Jace replied, bringing up his right wrist and showed his watch to Alec.

"It's dead. Figures."

"What?" Jace flipped his wrist and looked at his watch. Meanwhile, Alec started to move towards Jace who didn't expect what was coming at him next. One moment he was standing up, the next he was lying flat on his stomach on the training mat.

"Get started and don't waste my time." Alec commanded. "5OO. Start now." And Jace surrendered to his order.

First lesson: discipline. Noted, Alec inwardly thought.

After Jace was done, Alec told him to take off his blazer and threw at him a weapon which the blonde caught neatly.

"Nice catch." Alec praised him but Jace didn't respond. He kept his eyes on his trainer, his gaze intense on the other boy thinking that Alec would come rushing at him and attacking any second just like he'd saw him did with their coach.

"Relax." Alec said to him, noticing the slight tension in Jace's body. "You're going to sprain yourself if your muscles get too tensed." Jace took in his words and let his shoulder slumped a little.

Second lesson: attentiveness. Noted.

The two carried on with their afternoon training; the dark-haired calmly explaining and demonstrating the basics while the golden-haired struggled and somewhat achieving in following Alec's instructions.

After they'd done everything for that day's practice, Alec and Jace lied down on the mat, taking deep breathes to slow down their heartbeats.

"That was quiet exhausting." Jace spoke, trying to shatter the awkward silence that came in between them. What made it more awkward was Alec's response, which was none.

"Alec?"

"What?" The guy that said that had intended in making his tone rather snappish and rude in attempt to keep the blonde silent but instead he sounded tired.

"Never mind. You'll think it's stupid." Jace replied.

"How would you know that when you haven't even told me what it is?" Alec shot at him back. This time, he managed to at least show that he was annoyed.

"What's your favourite colour?" Of all the things that came across Jace's fatigued brain, of course he'd asked the silliest question ever. The blonde didn't turn his head to look at Alec but he did expect his answer.

"You're right. It is stupid." Alec said.

"You know, most people don't let me know when I'm right." said Jace.

"I know that now." Alec sighed. "Why do you want to know?" He brought his hand up through his ebony hair that felt damp to his touch.

Jace shrugged. "Just something to warm us up." He heard Alec chuckled but it didn't last long.

"I'm sure we've done that the first thing before we started just now." Alec voiced, sitting up and stretching his legs forwards.

Jace stayed silent at that. He didn't know what to say or how to continue with their conversation knowing that Alec would do his best avoiding his questions.

"Black."

"What?" He didn't hear it since he was too determined in keeping his mouth shut but he was sure that Alec had said something. He sat up as well and folded his legs underneath him.

"My favourite colour. It's black."

"Ohh…" The second time when they were enveloped with muteness, it was more restful than it was minutes ago.

Jace turned his head so that he was looking at Alec when he asked the other guy,

"What's with the whole fencing thing?"

Alec looked back at him. "What do you mean?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Why did you join fencing?" Jace asked sincerely. He regretted it later when he saw Alec turned away and let his head fall.

"Sorry. I-I didn't mean to pry." Jace corrected himself. He saw Alec got up to his feet and walked to his bag. Before he left, Alec turned back to Jace and said,

"Maybe some other time, I might answer that." And he was gone.

* * *

Nothing could explain my words to Jace before I left. I didn't know why I said it when I wasn't sure myself that I was going to even like that guy.

As we spent more time with fencing, I couldn't help but felt released and free for once after so long. There was no pretending in front of Jace and I was convinced that he felt the same. We easily understood each other through our countless training together and that might've been the caused for the bonds that we share now.

If Max was still alive, I knew that he would like Jace as well. He'd appreciate Jace's quirkiness and jokes like I'd eventually learned to accept as well. That was how Jace reminded me of him. For Jace had felt like brother to me. When Magnus was all blades and guns for offence, Jace was shields and armours for defence. He'd taught me the real meaning of acceptance and for once, I wished that this life would've been different.

I wished that we were brothers, even if the world doesn't make sense were werewolves and vampires and warlocks existed. I would wish him to be a part of me even if it involved slaughtering demons and good-guys-turned-bad. I would hope for a life where I wouldn't need to pretend and kept my strong act even in front of those who loved me because I know Jace would always be there.

And most of all, I wish for a life where I could love Magnus with my whole heart and life. But I couldn't. I learned from my mistake with Max and that is never to make promises you couldn't keep. And I promised Max, that for this life; Magnus's heart would never be mine…

But Jace was something unexpected. Even when I knew that he was the one who hit Max two years ago, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. All the connections came rushing to me like bullets, shooting me down with every force that made sense with physics. I knew now why Jace always took a different route to school and I hadn't noticed it before. That was the road where it happened and I never passed through it either ever since that day.

I guess I was bulletproof, for every shot that came raining down on me felt nothing but a small tug on my heart. And know that I knew the truth; I couldn't think of what would happened next. All I cared about was Jace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that basically sums up everything for the flashbacks. If you think I missed anything in it, feel free to review, as always. I love knowing what people think about this story so far so yeah...See you next time! :)


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Back to the present. I hope you like how I'm turning the story so far. A little warning here, there aren't much chapters left before we say goodbye to For This Life. I hope you'll stay reading until the very end. Thank you for taking your time to read and have a wonderful day! :)

Chapter 15

Part I: The Strength Of A Bond

Jace was sitting on a chair in his mother's hospital room. His only company was the steady sound of beeping coming from the small monitor that was connected to his mother as he watched over her. Cecily was lying on the bed, wearing the hospital gown and was covered with white sheet down her waist. Her right wrist was attached to an IV tube and she was wearing an oxygen mask.

Another attack came that evening. After so long, Jace had thought that maybe the sickness would leave his mother alone and they would carry on without it. He was stupid to think about it that way actually; asthma wasn't something that goes away with time.

He was in his room, searching for his court letters and he had found them. But before he could even reach in for the documents, he heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. He rushed to the kitchen, knowing something was wrong and he was right when he saw Cecily lying on the kitchen's floor along with a pot and a kettle, already passed out.

The next thing he knew, he was cradling Cecily's head at the backseat of Elaine's car as she drove them to the hospital. They'd been there for at least five hours and his mother had yet to regain her consciousness. Elaine left around seven when she remembered that Simon would be home at that time. She didn't forget to promise her return in a couple of hours later and when she did, Simon was with her.

"Have you eaten?" Simon stood beside Jace and touched the blonde's shoulder. He gave it a slight squeeze like he always did whenever Simon knew that Jace was distraught and troubled. Simon hadn't seen it coming as well; he was surprised when as soon as he got home, his mother dragged him straight to the hospital.

"I'm not hungry." Jace simply said and Simon let it ended there. He grabbed another chair and sat the opposite side of the bed facing Jace.

"What happened?" Simon asked quietly. They were both exchanging words in whispers and low voices. "I didn't get to hear the whole story from mom. She literally pushed me into the car and drove straight here."

Jace's shoulders were slumped forward and he let out a tired sigh. "I don't know. I ran to the kitchen and found her there. The doctor said she'll be fine, it was just a minor trigger."

"But why now? I mean, she's cleared for so long." Simon said, genuinely not expecting that situation as much as Jace did.

"That's been bothering me too." Jace's voice was soft and his head was down. His golden hair covered his eyes and Simon couldn't translate anything from his friend's body postures. His brown eyes widened slightly before saying,

"Have you told anybody else?"

"I didn't want to scare Clary. I'll call her in the morning." Jace answered, thinking that Simon was indirectly asking about her.

"What about Alec? You didn't call him?" The brown-haired stared at his friend and waited for an answer.

"I did. He didn't answer me." Jace took out his phone from his left pocket and stared at it. Indeed, the first person he thought of while waiting for his mother was Alec. He'd called him many times but the other guy didn't pick up and it went to his voicemail.

Simon didn't have anything to say to that. He stood up and walked to the door, turning slightly before speaking to Jace,

"You're staying the night here, right?" His answer was a curt nod.

"I'll bring some of your clothes for you. Anything you wanna add?" Simon asked.

"No." said Jace. "That's all. Thanks, Si." Jace heard a snort coming from the other guy and he looked at Simon, who was wearing a grin. He brought his index finger up and pushed his glasses upwards on the bridge of his nose.

"I'll be right back." Simon said before leaving Jace with his mother in the room.

* * *

He was running. He kept on running although his destination was nowhere. Alec paid no mind to the stares he got from the crowds as he turned and kept on running. After a while, Alec stopped at a park. It was nearly empty except for a couple of teenagers including himself.

Unlike the others, Alec was breathing heavily. His mind was fuzzy. All he could recall was reading Jace's name in Max's file and then he'd left his room in haste, not taking his phone and wallet with him. He'd dashed out of the apartment's building and when he stopped, he was gazing at a nearing sunset.

_Why? Of all people…_

No logical explanations or mathematical formulas that could help in making sense for Alec who had yet to actually accept the fact. Jace Herondale was the driver who'd hit his brother two years ago and that same person was the guy Alec had started to care for. Absentmindedly, he carried his feet that felt non-existent at that moment to the place where he'd secretly visited without anybody knowing. Almost every day for the past two years, Alec would find some empty holes in his schedule to come to that place.

As he walked past some of the grave stones, Alec couldn't keep himself from feeling sick. There was this unsettled feeling in his stomach and his head had been pounding ever since he was in the elevator, going down from Magnus's apartment.

Magnus. What am I supposed to do? He thought to himself. Should he tell Magnus about it? What about Izzy? Does Jace know? No. That last thought was pushed far away before it could be resolved by Alec's now tired mind. He doubted it. Jace would've told him if he knew. That's the way things were.  _Were._

What about now? What would be different? Does this change everything? Or anything?

That evening was a blur for Alec. He knew he was in the graveyard just moments ago and now he was slumped on the bathroom's floor of Magnus's apartment. In his hand was a small empty bottle that used to contain a few blue tablets. The lid was off, thrown a few distance away, as if mocking Alec with its ever so tiny look.

His head that was previously felt heavy began to feel lighter and lighter. His body felt like jelly and when he brought up his fingers to his face, Alec couldn't recall how many of them that was supposed to be intact. All he could remember was the memory of him kneeling in front of Max's tombstone just flashes ago, telling his brother what he knew now.

_"Max, it was him. That day that I lost you, it was him in the car. It was Jace…"_

Alec gazed at the sunset that reflected the mirage effect on the kitchen's window. He was holding onto the counter, balancing himself on his untrustworthy pair of legs that would seem to crumble any time soon.

And when they did gave way underneath him, Alec welcomed the cold tiles that greeted his cheek as he fell down, gracing the earth flatly. What he didn't know is that even after he was on the floor, the tears never stopped. His face, pale and ill, had never left the frown that creased his eyebrows together and his eyes, always so blue and so crystal-like clear, being hidden behind those eyelids were empty and void.

Nothing shatters million more than Alexander Lightwood's soul that evening. Sadly, no one was there to hear the sound of his silent cry as he drowned himself in that familiar agony he'd felt when Max had died. For he thought that he'd lost another brother that day.

* * *

For a moment, when the door slide opened Jace honestly expected to see Alec came rushing in to him. Despite the fail attempts in trying to contact his dark-haired friend, Jace was still hoping.

He'd called Magnus, thinking that they might be together but Magnus had said,

_"He told me he was going somewhere after school but he didn't tell me where. Is something wrong?"_

Even Magnus could tell just by listening to his distraught voice that something was indeed wrong. Jace still hadn't brushed off the revolting feeling about the accident but whenever he casted his eyes on his mother, the sensation went away almost immediately.

He'd told himself over the past two years that it wasn't his fault. The person had walked onto the road all of the sudden and he was unable to do anything. His mind was filled with the terror of losing his mother that only after the car stopped, did he comprehend what had happened. But it was too late. All he knew was that he'd hugged his mother all the while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, although he did not know who had called for them but he stayed grateful.

He remembered looking at a pair of eyes, filled with unshed tears and broken words before he was taken away by the cops. Until then, all that was in his mind was his regret that he'd never get to see his mother to know whether she was fine and alright. He'd spent the last two years among strangers, only knowing about the outside world from Elaine or Simon.

"Do you wanna change? I could look over her for a while." Simon's voice intruded Jace's train of thoughts. The blonde was caught off guard by himself; he'd never experienced such brooding ever since he got out from juvenile.

"That's fine." He answered, taking the bag of clothes from Simon's hand and setting it on the floor next to him. Simon approached his previous spot and sat down, his eyes never faltered from watching Cecily's face.

"Where's Elaine?" Jace asked.

Simon sighed. "Outside. Talking to the nurse." He looked tired to Jace.

"What's wrong?" Golden orbs met with hesitant brown eyes.

"Nothing." Simon replied. "It's just Izzy."

"Does she know where Alec is?" Jace asked almost too quick and eager.

"No. She's at Clary's." said Simon. "I called her before coming here and trust me when I say, that's the worst decision I've made today."

"Why?" Jace asked, narrowing his eyes.

"She knew I was lying and we're sort of…" Simon struggled for the next words but Jace beat him to it.

"You didn't tell her, did you? Not with Clary." There was a sound of disapproval in Jace's tone that made Simon brought up his hands and showed a sign of protest towards Jace.

"No. I didn't." Jace sighed. He seriously didn't want Clary to freak out, yet. She would, but not now.

"It's one thing lying to my best friend and you're making me lying to my girlfriend as well." Simon said, looking at Jace. "You owe me big time, buddy."

Jace brought his head down and Simon knew he'd struck something. They stayed muted for a while, not knowing what to say as they diverted their gaze to different points every few minutes.

"Mom told me something before we got here." Simon started, reflecting whether he should bring that topic up or not. "That you asked about the accident."

Jace didn't bring his head up to look at the brown-haired. He stared at his shoes, feeling so worn out and empty all of a sudden at the mention of 'accident'.

"Why do you want to know, Jace?"

"I don't know." The blonde mumbled. "I thought maybe if I just…" He took a deep breath before letting it out slowly and spoke,

"I wanted to know but I don't think want to now. I just want her to be safe and alive."

"She is safe." Simon voiced, running his hand along his hair. "She has you."

Jace leaned back in his chair and carved a small smile.

"I know."

Part II: Finally Falling Apart

When Magnus entered through the front door, he could make out a pair of slim legs on the kitchen's floor. Wait a minute, on the kitchen's floor…

"Alec!" He dropped everything in his hands, which were his car key and hand phone as he rushed to the kitchen, knocking himself at the edge of the couch due to his haste scrambling to reach to his friend. Alec was lying on his side on the floor, sprawled out and still. Too still.

"Oh my god. Alec!" Magnus got down on his knees and held Alec's head in his hand. "Alec? Hey, can you hear me?" He asked, shaking the other guy gently. Magnus moved so that Alec's upper body was cradled in his lap as he sat down on the cold tile. Alec's eyes were closed. Magnus shook him by the shoulder again, enticing him to open his eyes and when they did, the azure orbs were cloudy and glazed. It took the blue pairs a while to focus on the view in sight.

"Hey, Magnus? When did you get back?" His voice was raspy. When Magnus took a closer look, he noticed that Alec's eyes were swollen and red showing that he'd been crying. Why had he been crying?

"Alec, listen to me. What happened? Why are you on the floor? Did you knock your head on something or did you fall?" Magnus bombarded him with questions and didn't miss the tiny grimace on Alec's face. A chuckled escaped from his mouth, surprising the male that was holding him.

"I wish I did. Then it'll be easier to forget everything." Alec said.

"What happened, Alec?" Magnus asked again, this time a little bit softer but no less stern. "I thought you were out. Jace called me, asking about you. He said you didn't pick up your phone."

Alec didn't succeed to hide the wince he'd automatically expressed when Jace's name was mention.

"Did you guys fight or something?" Magnus looked at Alec who was slowly sitting up and trying to stand on his feet. Magnus's hands were reflexively fast; he held onto Alec's arm and helped him up although the other guy didn't inquire for his aid. Magnus let go when he knew that Alec was fine on his own.

What he didn't expect was to see Alec walking away from the kitchen and towards his room, leaving him behind without another word. Since when was I transparent? Magnus thought.

"Alec, wait." Too late, the door had already shut when he called for the dark-haired. Magnus brought his hands up again, staring at it like it was disfigured or something. He realized what was bothering him when he saw the tiny red splotches on the edge of his fingers where he'd held Alec's face. It was blood; Alec's blood.

Without a second thought, he ran and nearly knocked himself on Alec's bedroom's door.

"Alec! Open up! I know something's wrong with you. I'm taking you to the hospital!" Magnus shouted as he pounced on the door. He stopped for a second to listen to any sound, answer or reply that might come but he heard none. It was too silent and Magnus started to feel a little bit of panic rising in his stomach.

"Damn it, Alec! I'll break this door down if I have too-" The door sprung open.

"What is wrong with you?" said a voice from the other side of the room, sounding mildly irritated.

"Alec?"

"Magnus, are you out of your mind? Why can't you just open the door? I didn't lock it." Magnus couldn't be bothered to feel embarrassed for the fact that he'd forgotten to try the knob; he was too busy staring at the guy standing facing him.

"Y-you were…you were… Alec, you were bleeding." He let out.

"What?" Alec stepped out from the room and if Magnus was entirely honest to himself, he would've admitted that the boy standing in front him was an entirely different person that the one he'd found on the floor minutes ago.

"You're bleeding, Alec. See?" He held up his hand and showed it to Alec, who simply narrowed his eyes and looked back at Magnus.

"No I'm not." was his answer. At that moment, Magnus remarked what was different. Alec had changed out from his previous shirt and was now wearing a black sweater over a plain blue t-shirt. His hair that was disarray and ruffled was back to its usual manner, tidy and neat. How did he change so quickly? Magnus wondered.

"You were. I'm not lying." Magnus pressed on.

"I didn't say you were lying, Magnus." Alec answered him back. He closed the door behind him and walked over to the living room with Magnus loyally trailing behind him.

"Look, Alexander…" Magnus paused. "Where are you going?" He asked instead, when he realized that Alec was holding his phone and was heading to the front door.

"I'm heading out for a while. I might be late." Alec said.

"Alexander!" The shout that came from Magnus's mouth brought shocked to both souls that were standing in the living room, few feet away from the other. Alec's eyes widened in surprised as he looked at Magnus.

"What the hell?! Magnus, what's wrong with you?" When Magnus was only shocked with his own action, he was even more stunned with Alec's words. Alec never cursed.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!" Magnus shot back at the other guy, his voice resounding throughout his apartment. "I came back and I saw you on the floor. And when I get to wake you up, you simply pushed me away and now you're going somewhere. For god sake, you were bleeding Alec and you ask what's wrong with me!" Magnus said exasperatedly. His hands were flung wildly above his head and Alec didn't know whether it was just his imagination but he thought he saw some sparks flying from the tip of Magnus's fingers. Blue sparks. That's pretty.

Alec didn't say anything. He looked down on his feet and gripped harder at his phone.

"Aren't you gonna say something?" Magnus pushed on. He was becoming rather impatient and he didn't like the feeling one bit. It made  _him_  feel like the bad guy.

"Magnus, I'm sorry." Alec muttered loud enough for both of them to hear. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'll be back late. If anything's wrong, I'll call for you to get me. Is that okay?"

They stared at each other for a few seconds, never breaking their silent conversation until Magnus sighed and said,

"Promise?"

Alec didn't know if he had any more of himself to answer that so he merely nodded. Before Alec completely disappeared out of the apartment, Magnus swore he saw a small curled at the side of Alec's lips. He looked back down at his fingers and rubbed them together.

"What  _is_  wrong with you, Alec?" Magnus said softly, to no one but himself.

* * *

Alec took a taxi and headed to the hospital. He brought out a white napkin from his pocket and wiped his nose. Magnus wasn't lying; Alec was indeed bleeding when he pulled the napkin away and it stained red. He suspected it was the effect of consuming the drug in an unadvisable amount. In other words, Alec was overdosed.

But that's not the reason he was heading to the hospital. When Alec got into his room after the small encounter with Magnus in the kitchen, he'd quickly seized his phone and checked the contents.

There were 24 missed calls from one caller, undoubtedly Jace. Alec's mind was racing like jets; why would Jace desperately called for him? He checked his inbox and read a text from Jace, telling him that Cecily had an asthma attack.

Alec regretted his action in leaving Magnus's apartment earlier that evening-that was the time that Jace had continuously called him and he'd left his phone in the room.

"Are you okay, boy? You look sick." The taxi driver said at Alec as he stared at one of his passenger for that night through his back view mirror. The sky was already dark and yet the road was never clear. Cars were everywhere and the headlights burned in the back of Alec's eyes as it flashes one after another.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He felt like crap, honestly. He was thinking of getting something from the dispensary while he checked on Jace and his mother.

When he arrived in front of the hospital though, he couldn't help but vacillated. What would he say to Jace? Could he even face him?

He took a step forward and nothing was in his way as he walked in towards the front desk and asked about Cecily's room number.

"I'm sorry but you're not a family member so I can't let you in." The nurse politely said. Alec bent down his head and gave a small smile to the nurse, before turning around and was about to walk out from the building when a voice caught his ears.

"Alec?" He turned around and saw Simon strolling over to him.

"Jace has been waiting for you to come." Simon saw the slight drop in Alec's posture but what caught his attention more was the dark-hair's complexion. Alec was usually pale but at that moment, Simon felt like he was staring at a vampire and his eyes absentmindedly searched for fangs. Luckily, there was none. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles and he noticed that Alec was flushed.

"You look like hell." That came out from nowhere.

"Thanks." Alec shot back at him and he tried to glare, partly successful.

"I didn't mean to be rude. You seriously look unwell, Alec." Simon countered back. He saw the faint uncertainty in Alec's gaze so he quickly said,

"Why don't I take you to the room?" Simon looked over to the nurse who gave him a tiny disapproval look but the boy in glasses nodded back in assurance. "He won't be long. It's night time anyway." He said particularly to no one but Alec and the nurse understood him equally.

They walked down the corridor and took the elevator to the third level. Simon led him to the room on the right side of the building and slide the door open. Alec instantly recognized the woman on the bed, lying peacefully and attached to a monitor as Jace's mother. But said guy was nowhere to be detected.

"I think Jace went to the washroom." Simon answered his unasked question. "I'll leave you here."

"W-wait. You're leaving?" asked Alec, almost sounding like he didn't want Simon to leave.

"Yeah. I was on my out, remember. My mom's waiting for me." Simon didn't know whether to feel relief or awful when he realized that Alec was somewhat revealing his vulnerable side to him.

"Is there something you need?" Simon cautiously inquired the other guy. Alec shook his head and said,

"No. Thanks. You can go." In a split second, Alec was back to his old safe; direct and yet complex. Without another word, Simon left him with Jace's mother in the room.

Alec stood there, for how long he didn't care although he knew it was only for a few seconds when he saw Cecily's eyes fluttered opened and stared directly at him. He remained frozen; shocked and baffled for a moment before he took a few steps and stood next to her.

"I knew I've seen you somewhere." Cecily croaked out, her voice rough due to her being unconscious for the last hours.

"I'm Alec, Jace's friend? Do you want me to get the doc-" She caught his wrist, although her grasp was weak, Alec knew better than to ask her to let go.

"I remember you hugging him." It was a blur before Alec comprehended what she was talking about. His face remained stoic but his eyes betrayed his calmness.

"You were younger but I'd never forget that look of yours…" The boy standing next to her said nothing. Cecily held his wrist delicately, as if the one that was going to break was him.

"Jace doesn't know." She carried on. After a while, Alec finally spoke.

"I know."

"It'll break his heart if he knows." Cecily knew her son wasn't in the room and yet she had said it softly to Alec.

"I know."

"He loves you, Alec. He cares for you like his own brother." Blue eyes snapped shut and he heavily let out a shaky sigh. When he opened his eyes, he saw Cecily staring at him lovingly and even when his mind screamed for him to look away, he didn't have the heart to do so.

"Will you tell him?" Cecily asked him.

"No. He doesn't need to know." Alec said back. "It'll only hurt us both." He looked down on the table by Cecily's side and gazed at a spot.

"But what about you?" He looked up back at Jace's mother. "Will you be fine with it?"

He smiled. "If I weren't, I won't be here, would I?"

Alec walked slowly back towards the front door of the hospital, stumbling every now and then as his head felt lighter and dizzier. He was about to grab hold of something, he didn't remember what it was when for the second time that day, he felt the earth pulled him down on gravity and he was flat on the floor again.

He heard someone shouting at him, the nurse- he thought when he watched the frantic shaking and calling him slowly façade as he fell into oblivion darkness. The last thing he remembered was Cecily's voice telling him,

_"Jace told me once that you're immune to any kind of pain. But no one can prevent their heart from breaking, Alec. Not even you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this week. Look forward to the next one and don't forget to leave your thoughts. They help a lot! :)
> 
> See you next time. :D


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here is Chapter 16! A little warning, I don't know about you guys but things may seem a little bit dark and depressing in this chapter. I had quite a hard time in trying to express our beloved characters and writing the plot. But nevertheless, I've wrote my best and I hope it thrilled you readers. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day! :)

Chapter 16

Part I: Confusions And Consequences

When Magnus received a call from Maryse, he'd thought that maybe she wanted to come to his place and talk with her children. But the next second, he couldn't help but sensed something was wrong. No matter how much she missed them, she wouldn't have called in the middle of the night. No one sane would do that.

"Hello?"

"Magnus? Is this Magnus Bane?" The voice spoke from the other end.

"The one and only." Magnus answered back. He meant to sound friendly and indifferent but he knew he failed. The obvious shades of distress outlined by the caller's attempt of self-possessed in her tone was enough for Magnus to ask,

"Where's Alec?" He mostly felt than heard Maryse's surprised intake of breath at his words. To say Maryse was impressed was an understatement but the feeling of tranquil-knowing that her son was indeed in good hands for the last two years- didn't last long. If Magnus knew the moment she called had something to do with her eldest, then she knew whom to interrogate once she'd relied the news.

"He's at the State's hospital." Magnus didn't know whether to feel relieved -at least he was somewhere safe- or furious -he knew something was wrong- with Alec. "I got a call from our family's doctor (yes, the Lightwoods have their own doctor). She told me that Alec passed out on his way out from the hospital."

"What was he doing over there in the first place?" Magnus couldn't help but asked.

"I-I don't know. I need your help, Magnus. I'm at the airport and I'm still trying to get a flight back but I need someone to go and check him for me." Maryse said.

"Where  _are_  you right now?" Magnus asked, confused.

"I'm still at Melbourne. Didn't Alec tell-never mind." She cut herself off mid-sentence. "I need you to go to the hospital and ask for DR. Loss. She'll be expecting you."

Magnus didn't waste a moment and said,

"Alright." He hung up and grabbed his car key and wallet, checking on Izzy before leaving his apartment. She was already asleep in her bed when he left. He drove what felt like eternity and parked his car at an empty spot before rushing in and spoke to the nurse at the front desk that,

"I'm here to see DR. Loss." As if on cue, the said doctor walked passed the hallway and stopped at the mention of her name.

"Magnus Bane?" She said, looking at Magnus.

"Yeah. I'm here to see Alexander." He replied, mentally noting himself for using Alec's first name.

"I've been informed. I'm Catarina Loss." She held out her hand and Magnus took it politely as they shook hands. DR. Loss got on straight to the point when she said,

"Alec's currently sedated and I've stabilised him. He's still unconscious but I think he'll come to it in a couple of hours."

"What happened?"

She smiled a little and Magnus could tell it was meant to be reassuring but it didn't convince him so. "Why don't we sit down and have a drink?" DR. Loss ushered him to the cafeteria where they sat down and each had a cup of tea sitting on the table.

"What happened to Alec?" Magnus asked again for the second time. The doctor looked at him before she voiced,

"It's a common policy that doctors do not disclose their patients' information to outsiders but we both know that's not true." She added the second part of her speech quickly after seeing the changes in Magnus's expression.

"I was told that Alec has been living with you for quite some times and to be honest, this is my first time seeing him after Max's death." Said DR. Loss, bowing her head slightly at the mention of the family's lost. She continued,

"Alec has been diagnosed with overdose. We detected a fair amount of a drug that's usually used for depression although in Alec's case, he took it like a protein bar to provide him with adrenaline. I've checked him thoroughly and I came to a conclusion that this wasn't the first time he'd consumed it." She sent a meaningful glare at Magnus who looked stumped and speechless.

It took him a while to construct a sentence and the words that he let out was,

"He was bleeding when he left my place."

"That's one of the aftermaths. The drug disturbed his circulatory system and his negative feedback mechanism tried to fix it which results in nosebleed. It causes imbalance in his red blood cells and his blood pressure. He also induced a high fever for a while before I injected him with the necessary medications so that he won't experience seizure which could have worsened his condition." That lengthy explanation didn't help one bit to dim Magnus's self-blaming in his head. How could have it happened when all this while he thought that he'd been taking care of Alec at his best capability?

"Magnus? Are you alright?" DR. Loss asked, looking at Magnus and searching his face. He'd lost his focus to the doctor in his confound-filled wallowing.

"Y-Yeah." He took a deep breath and said,

"I need to see him." DR. Loss simply gave him a nod and led him to Alec's room. She left him alone with the unconscious boy who had strings and wires attached to him and Magnus couldn't recall when was the last time he'd saw Alec looking so fragile and broken.

Tubes were inserted through his windpipe to help him breath and he had wires around him, from his chest to his forearm. His breathing that was rather shallow and frantic even made Magnus flinched. The hospital gown made him looked smaller but Magnus knew that wasn't the case. He took a step closer and sat down next to Alec. His hand, the same pastel as the rest of his skin seemed so bony and lifeless. Magnus took it in his hands and wrapped them protectively.

If what DR. Loss had said was true, then Magnus knew that the reason for his previous sicknesses and lost sleep and more was the doing of that drug. The question was where had Alec obtained such things?

Even if at that moment, Magnus felt like everything he'd knew about Alec was just a small part of the blue eyed boy, he couldn't help but be sure that Alec wouldn't have the thought of deteriorating himself with drugs.

But one glance at the pale face was all it took for Magnus's resolute to shatter.

"I don't think I know you anymore, Alexander."

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Jace asked his mother. It was the next morning and Jace had woken up from his sleep by his mother side when he felt someone shaking his shoulder. To his delight, it was his mother and he'd hastily called for the doctor to check on her.

"I'm feeling fine, Jace. Didn't you hear what the doctor said? I'll be discharge by afternoon if everything's fine." Cecily looked at her only son dearly when he narrowed his eyes and pressed on,

" _Is_  everything fine?" Cecily let out a chuckle at Jace's word and before she could answer back, Simon entered the room with his mother trailing behind him.

"Oh, great. You're awake." Elaine said as she greeted her friend and Jace stepped aside, giving space to both women and went to sit next to Simon on the only couch in the room.

"The doctor said she'll be out today if nothing's wrong." Jace informed the brown-haired who nodded in response.

"That's great." Simon said. "What time did Alec leave last night?" He asked.

"What?" Jace, who had slumped back on the couch, was instantly upright when he heard Alec's name. "Alec was here?"

"Yeah. I sent him to your mother's room last night when I met him in the hall." He explained. "I told him that you were probably in the washroom and he waited. I guess." He added the last part as he furrowed his eyebrows.

Jace glanced at his mother who seemed to have felt his stare and looked at him. She gave him a smile and he smiled back, but only for a while when he got up and said to Simon,

"I'm making a call." He didn't wait for answer. Jace was already walking away and sliding the door closed behind him. He walked down the hallway to the elevator and pressed the button. He took out his phone and stared at it.

Why didn't Alec wait for him? He thought. He heard the elevator arrived on the floor and as the door slide open, he stepped in. As that elevator closed, the other elevator opened to reveal Magnus and Izzy stepping out of it. If Jace had waited for another second, they would've bumped into each other and maybe, just maybe, things wouldn't have gotten too complicated for them.

* * *

Izzy had prepared herself when she got the call from Magnus that morning, telling her to get ready and that he'll pick her up in fifteen minutes. She might be clueless sometimes but she wasn't stupid. She managed to hide her shock when Magnus told her that Alec was hospitalized and was diagnosed with overdose. She had known about Alec's requirement with his former coach and she was glad he'd told her; she'd be unpredictably mad and many things else if she only knew about it by heading to the hospital after receiving a call.

But even those couldn't suppress her gasp as her eyes fell on Alec's form when Magnus pulled the door open. "Oh my god…"

Her soft hands immediately found her mouth and had it covered. She was struck frozen that Magnus had to drag her inside by her wrist. He was going to sit her down in the chair next to the bed so that she could stay closed to her brother. However, she pulled away before Magnus had even started pulling her towards the lying figure on the bed and Magnus didn't mask his bewilderment.

"I can't…" She spoke weakly, her eyes never leaving Alec's face. "What if-"

"He has been sleeping since last night." Magnus intercepted. "He won't know we're here."

At first, Magnus didn't think that his words would ever reach her in that state of hers. The last thing Magnus was good at was persuasion but he knew it worked when she slowly edged towards the chair and pulled it before sitting down. When he was sure she was completely all right, he said,

"I'm heading to the cafeteria for a while to grab some food. You want anything?"

She shook her head as an answer and the tall guy simply hummed before walking to the door.

"You forgot what I've told you before." Her voice suddenly resonated through the small space and Magnus stopped in his track.

"What?"

"Alec knows. Even in his sleep, he knows." As she said it, Izzy didn't spare a glance at Magnus and was all the time tracing Alec's face as if any moment, he'd disappear into thin air.

Magnus made a sound in between chuckling and snorting before leaving the room. He headed down to the cafeteria in hope to get some more of that cup of tea he had with DR. Loss and maybe give some space for Izzy to be with his brother.

He bought the same tea and sat down at an empty table that was facing a row of clear-glass windows. He had a perfect view of a tall tree which seemed to be the only plant that was left untouched during the construction of that hospital. Watching the leaves waved in mismatched choreography reduced some of the wildly-raging-mixed emotions that had been tempering themselves in Magnus's guts for who knew how long. At least I'm not the only one who's lost, he thought.

But that's the problem. Magnus wasn't lost. He would know it if he was ever off the course or too far astray but in this case, he had not even took a step when he felt like he was somewhere foreign. Magnus knew that whatever it was this time, it was Alec who needed saving.

Maybe he doesn't want to be saved.

No. Magnus burned that small voice in his head with no pity. He would not think about a person he had known for the last five years to be so weak and frail. Alec was lost, not damaged. Even if he was, Magnus thought that there must be something to patch those cracks and splinters.

He was right about that but he forgot that even if those cracks and splinters were bandaged and covered from all eyes, the one that carried the pain would still suffer in the end.

Part II: Decisions And Actions

_"The number you have dialled-"_ Jace pressed the red button and the operator's voice was cut off. That was his fifth attempt in calling Alec and all of them had been futile. Where is he? Jace inwardly thought.

He was about to turn around and walked back into the building when his shoulder bumped into something. It was someone. The lady muttered a small apology although it had been Jace's fault to begin with.

"It was my fault." Jace said when he brought his eyes to the lady's. At that point, he was brought back to the first time he'd saw Alec walking back from the whiteboard where he had written down his ever so accurate solution to one of Alegbra's tricky question. The blue orbs that was reflected, although a shade lighter and tired were similar to Alec's. Her hair, dark and raven stood contrast with her skin just like Alec's did, little less thanks to Alec's pale complexion.

But her face resembled nothing to Alec, partly because she had long bangs and also due to the startling congruity in her features and postures which reminded Jace of Alec's sister, Isabelle.

"It's fine. I was rushing." She said, all the time Jace was gaping. She smiled at him and he was struck with warmness as his lips curved back a twinkle on its own.

The woman walked off, leaving Jace still staring at her form but not for long when his phone rang and he immediately pressed the call button.

"Alec?"

His expression dropped when he heard the wrong voice.

"It's me, idiot." Simon said. "Your mom's looking for you."

"I'll be right up." He hung up and looked back at the woman's direction. He had only a glance of her entering the elevator with a tall guy next to her before the elevator swung shut and she was gone. He followed the same footstep, walking into the hospital when his phone ring again and he was shot with a death stare by the nurse in-charge of the front counter. He strode back outside and without looking at the caller's ID, he answered his phone.

"Simon, I'm on my way up. Tell my mom I almost got killed by the nurse when you called. That'll shut her up." Jace casually spoke to the speaker on the other end, not catching the slight pause and hesitant of the other person. When the voice came however, Jace knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"Jace?"

"Clary?" He hadn't expected her to call. The last thing he wanted at that moment was for the red-head to know about his mother's condition. He didn't want her to worry.

"Where are you?" She asked and he could hear her voice shaking slightly, taking control of her mettle.

"I'm at the hospital." He answered, knowing completely well that it would only go downhill if he lied.

"Why?" He sighed.

"My mom had an attack. But she's fine. She'll be out today if everything's fine." He said, trying to bring back the usual tone in their conversation.

"When?" Clary asked, still sounding distant for Jace's liking.

"When what?" He asked, perplexed.

"When did she fall ill?" Jace sighed inwardly at hearing his girlfriend's words. He thought that maybe he could avoid everything that was possible from going downhill but he knew that was then out of question.

"Yesterday evening." He tiredly answered. Clary didn't say anything at all after that, which made Jace dread for the worst.

"Clary, listen. I-"

"When were you going to tell me, Jace? Were you even planning to tell me?" She asked, sounding so small and yet much more potent in Jace's ears. She proceeded when Jace said nothing.

"I don't know if you know this Jace, but one of the few things that are vital for relationship to work is that when the other person is hurt or in need of a shoulder, it's the other person's job to be there." She exhaled after her statement, making Jace doubted whether she was actually angry or just concerned. All of the sudden, Jace felt a hole was making its way to the centre of his heart, digging out the content.

"You never give me that chance, Jace. Even if we were only friends-that would still count." And with that, Clary hung up, leaving Jace to think over her words over and over again.

After the long hours of thinking about the same person in his head, Jace was now only thinking of a certain red-head. When his mind had been thinking about Alec since yesterday evening, Jace then only knew about Clary who stayed in his heart, altogether forgetting of the woman he'd bumped into at the entrance as he went up the third floor.

* * *

Magnus led Maryse to Alec's room once they arrived on the third floor and stepped out from the elevator. He didn't exchange many words with Alec's and Izzy's mother apart from their short greeting in the hallway. He hated her once, because he knew the pain Alec had bear throughout the past two years was unfair for him and she didn't try to get her son back. But deep down in his heart he also knew half of it was his fault as well. If only he hadn't stopped Alec from walking Max home that day, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did and Max might still breathing today. And Alec did not have to be who he was all this long; closeted and supressed.

Magnus bit back a sigh when he remembered that he wasn't alone. He gave a sideway glance at Maryse, noting her drained expression and her fatigue orbs. She had her hair tied into a bun and Magnus saw underneath all those things, were a perfect resemblance of an older Izzy.

"Magnus." He stopped abruptly, turning only a little to look at Maryse. When he did not say anything, Maryse spoke.

"You do realize that Alec is not coming back to your place." It was a statement which surprisingly, Magnus took it well and with no feelings of arguing or objecting her words. He'd been thinking about it all night while watching over Alec and staring at his serene face, wondering what would happen next when he thought with a jolt that, there was no next for him.

"I know that if Alexander ever needs to return to me, my door's always open for him." Retracting his steps, Magnus had said them with no dither because that was true. He was always there for Alec and he would always be.

Things may not be the way they used to, but that's just the essence of difference. Magnus would just have to comply for the time being and move with the flow. Alec needed space- he thought but that was abundant. Alec had all the space he had but he chose the dark corner of the small, dusky and unventilated room. Feeling a sort of imaginary suffocation coming up to him, Magnus threw those thoughts aside and looked behind him to see Maryse still frozen at her spot. She had a look on her face that Magnus couldn't really put a finger on it but it showed through her words.

"What makes you think I would allow him to stay with you after this whole incident?" Maryse hesitated a little bit on the 'incident' part and Magnus realized what was wrong. He took a calming breath and said to her,

"Your point is?" Maryse seemed genuinely stunned at his sort-of provocation but she took the bait and answered him in shaky voice.

"I've let him under your care for two years, never once forgetting to pray to God that he'd be in good hands. I was wrong to think that Alexander was fine with you. I'd expected something else from you, Magnus Bane."

Magnus's face was hard when he turned and walked towards Maryse. Although his frame was tall and the older lady was smaller, it didn't scare her one bit as her posture remained strict and demanded for respect.

" _Let him_?" Magnus glared at her before continuing,

"Alec came to me on his own will when you and your husband threw him away. He had no place else to go and surely you didn't make him feel like he didn't belong anymore in his own house." Blue eyes glared at ambers and Magnus was struck with the resemblance in Alec's but that didn't dim his fury.

"The moment he set foot off the place he once called home, the moment you didn't stop him from leaving and didn't contact him for the next few months, who do you think had been there to watch as what was left of him break slowly to pieces?" He saw Maryse's eyes widened a slight amount and Magnus realized that although they were the same blue, Maryse's had a lighter shade than Alec's.

"Alexander told me once, that everything he went through since Max's death are nothing compared to what he'd done to his family. I was there when he told me that the second you blamed him for what happened, every minute of his life had been like a million little paper cuts. He had to pretend not to hear people talking about him, how he as much as murdered his own brother and that his own sister looked at him like a monster. He had to pretend not to care when other students treat him like an outcast because he had no one else to turn to and that only encouraged them to taunt him more. Alec look strong but he can't keep staying strong. No one can."

Magnus turned his back towards the only other person in the hall and let out the delayed sigh. He walked a few steps forward and stopped before glancing back at his shoulder, saying,

"You know what's the worst part is? I couldn't protect him from it." He casted his eyes downwards and was about to take more steps when Maryse spoke after the effects of his words wore off.

"It was his fault. He was older and he should have been stronger. He promised me that he won't disappoint me." Maryse's words helped nothing in making Magnus felt more respect towards her. She had said it with no love and definite and Magnus let out a small chuckle which took her by surprised.

"What's so funny?" she narrowed her eyes which was aimed at Magnus.

"Don't you see? Alec knows that it was his fault. He knows and he never forgets. And you just have to keep reminding him, don't you?" The tension that had built since the first word was out grew more intense and solid as Maryse spoke the wrong thing one after another.

"He's the oldest. He should act like an older brother to Izzy, not going around taking drugs and creating problems."

"What else should he give up?" Magnus quickly said. "He'd showed the best that any parents could ask for. He's the top in school and he brought fencing known to other schools in New York. He worked his butt off just to show that he's not broken to his sister and you call him a problem?" He snapped. Although their distance was further than before, Magnus could still clearly see the unstable tremble in those brilliant blue eyes. Oh how he wished the other pair of sapphire would come back to the real world soon.

"Don't you dare to try making it sound like I don't care any less than you do. I'm his mother and I love him, more than anyone else could." Maryse fisted her hands and Magnus could see her knuckles turning white at the hard grip. He felt a sudden challenge brought upon him when Maryse returned his glare with an equal hard stare.

"How is it love when you make him doubt of his own life? In what way does your word scream love for him when all it did was crumpling him, giving him thoughts of taking  _his own life_  with his own hands?" Maryse didn't even try to cover her shock or mask her expression that was filled with sorrow and despair at thinking that she'd almost took her only son's life without knowing it. Alec had thought of killing himself because of what they'd done.

"I know I'm just a friend and Alec doesn't need to know this but," he said, looking up into Maryse's watery eyes and shimmering his own steady ones, "I have always care for him. After a while, I've come to know that I love him. I would do anything if for once Alexander would smile without forcing it out of him." And with that finally said, Maryse realized that Magnus had walked on and was gone from sight when she looked up to find an empty hallway greeting her. After hearing Magnus, the only thing that seemed stuck in her sleep-deprived mind was how Alec's name sounded nice rolling off from Magnus's tongue.

* * *

The tapping of the surface of a particular shoes on the floor was what that had been resounding throughout the hallway of the third level ever since the said shoes' owner stood outside a patient's room.

Magnus was waiting for Maryse to leave so that he could talk privately with Alec. The latter had regained consciousness a couple of hours ago and he was immediately attended by DR. Loss, having her checked on him and informing them that Alec would be released tomorrow. After the doctor was done, Izzy had taken her time fussing about her brother and Alec gave a pleading look to Magnus to end that torment which he did by grabbing Izzy and taking her back to Magnus's place, telling her that they all needed the rest.

To Magnus's surprised, she didn't argue with him and instead, Izzy had held onto him the whole time in the car and Magnus let her be. He didn't know whether it was to console herself or Magnus but they knew they were thinking about the same person in their head.

Magnus wasn't planning to see Alec again; he was still to a certain degree, furious with the other guy but there he was, waiting. He could hear soft murmurs from inside the room; no doubt it was Alec and Maryse talking. After a few minutes, it stopped and the door slide opened revealing Maryse coming out with a smug look in her face. She didn't acknowledge his presence as she walked away without saying anything which Magnus assumed had to something to do about their small chat before.

He entered and closed the door; looking at the smiling face of the boy he didn't know how to put things on it. One moment that boy seemed to be everything to Magnus and the next, he was a stranger.

Alec was sitting upright with a pillow propped behind him, no longer attached to any wires and tubes but he still had that dark circles and pale look.

"What was that all about?" Alec asked, quirking his eyebrow.

"We had a little talk and I might have angered her." Magnus said nonchalantly, knowing that Alec must've seen what happened at the door. He walked closer to Alec but not too close, he wanted to look like he was being detached and unfamiliar.

"And here I was wondering why when I told her that I'll remain at your place, she practically looked fed up." Alec was laughing but he stopped when he met Magnus's eyes. The taller guy, the one standing had his arms crossed over his chest and he was staring, searching something beyond those blue eyes which made Alec diverted his gaze onto his hands in his lap.

They stayed that way for a while, with one not knowing what to say and the other having a lot to explain but didn't know where to start.

"So you're coming back with me?" Magnus asked. "Why?"

Evidently shocked at hearing Magnus's question, Alec asked back,

"Why won't I?"

Alec only noticed that Magnus looked tired and defeated when the latter dropped his shoulder and ran his hand in his hair.

"You think that's a good idea?" Magnus glanced at him.

"Magnus, what's the problem here?" Alec spoke, sitting up impossibly straighter and never once breaking eye contact with Magnus.

"Oh nothing. Everything's fine Alec. Like always." He said, not attempting to hide the scepticism in his voice. His head snapped to Alec's and every word that came out was without control. "I am by all means does not have the right to know anything about you, do I?"

He saw Alec looking down in his hands that were playing with the hem of the sheet and he was fidgeting.

"Magnus, I'm sorry." He said in a low voice.

"I don't want to hear that." Magnus replied in the same cold tone.

"Then what am I supposed to say?"

"Tell yourself you're sorry. Can you do that for me?" Magnus said. "Can you stop blaming yourself, Alexander?"

"Don't call me that." Alec answered weakly, his head still looking down on his lap.

"Why? I'm not your father, Alec. I don't demand anything when I call you that and can you please stop playing with the blanket and look at me?" Magnus felt generally irritated when people looked away while he was talking.

"You don't have to keep doing this. Look around you Alec and tell me there is a soul out there that is smiling while watching you hurt yourself. Max wouldn't want that." When Alec heard his brother's name, he couldn't help but choked back a sob and curled in his position. His shoulder was shaking and Magnus knew it was wrong to press things into that poor boy's heart at that moment but it was already out of hands.

"People care for you. I care for you." He carried on. When he saw that Alec remained in his position, Magnus grabbed a bunch of his own hair and gave it a slight tug.

"Screw it. I love you Alec." Alec's head snapped upwards and his eyes bore into Magnus's. "I realized it when Camille was gone, the only other person who was always there is you. I understand why things felt wrong with her. I can't love Camille because there was nothing real in it. I thought I did but no." He shook his head at his last sentence, thinking back on how he thought that their relationship could have worked.

When he looked back up, his amber orbs reflected shock and his eyelids widened slightly. Because what he was looking at was something he didn't expected. Alec was gaping at him, his bloodless lips shook in tremor and colour left his face. His eyes looked stunned as well but that was not what that had took Magnus. It was the clear, visible trail of transparent liquid running down that sick face, staining his hospital gown with translucent droplets as Alec kept on crying.

Those blue eyes then looked down and around frantically, appearing to be confused before Alec wrapped his arms around his legs and rocking back and forth on the bed, all the time muttering,

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"

Magnus didn't know what to do but his body reacted faster. He had moved to the side of Alec's bed and placed himself on what little space he had by the side before wrapping Alec's curled form in his arms. Magnus held his head protectively on his hand, resting it on his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry…Max…" Magnus shushed him and he swayed them both in a comforting tempo. Alec kept his head down and listened to Magnus's steady sound of heartbeats which lulled him back to the oblivion state of dream. Magnus stayed in that position for a while before laying Alec down on the bed.

He pulled up the crumpled sheet on Alec and brushed the hair on Alec's forehead. Tears still clung on his long eyelashes and Magnus fought back a cry himself. He leaned down, closer and closer until their lips were only inches apart when his eyes travelled back to Alec's closed ones.

He pulled back and instead, planted his kiss on Alec's forehead, letting it linger for a sweet second before he retreated. "I love you. Don't forget that." And then he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack! Am I drifting too far away? Let me know as always. I'll be happy to know what you think! :)  
> I'm sorry if this is too late but I would like to thank Ren who's been reading and following this story. Your comments helped a lot and I would never mind to get more. Thanks for reading.


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I can't believe this is going smooth so far for me and it all thanks to those thoughts you gave me. Here is the next chapter and I hope you enjoy this much more than the last one. *wink
> 
> Don't forget to leave a review, even if it's just to correct me, I'll appreciate them nonetheless. Thanks for reading and have a nice day! :)

Chapter 17

Part I: Fighting Doubts And Learning To Be True

"You what?!" Izzy shouted.

"Gosh. With all necessary Iz, please yell. It's not like I'm not sitting right next to you." Magnus said; his hands busy turning the steering wheel as they turned the corner, heading to the hospital.

"Wait wait. How did he react? Did he freak out?" She asked excitedly, turning almost entirely in her seat so that she was facing Magnus, not caring that she was entangled in between the seatbelt.

"You could put it that way." Magnus answered her without looking.

"What do you mean? Why did you choose to tell me now? You could have told me before we left or even yesterday." She said, flinging her hands around the small space, limiting the extra drama that she was putting on.

"Exactly because you would have fuss over it."

"No I don't." Izzy pouted, still making an effort at showing Magnus her reaction.

"Really?" Magnus said teasingly, quirking his eyebrow along the way.

"Don't try to change the topic, Magnus. Now tell me, what did he say?" Izzy asked again. Magnus pursed his lips together. How should he tell Izzy that her brother sort of panicked and ended up sleeping in his arms while he calmed him down? No, no one should know about that.

"We're here." He said, turning into the parking space and pulling the handbrake. He casted a dear smile to Izzy before they got out of the car and walked in to the hospital, heading straight to Alec's room.

When they arrived, Alec was sitting at the edge of the bed, already in fresh new clothes that Magnus had brought the day before and his bed was made. He looked like he can't wait to get out of there and Magnus couldn't blame him.

"Hey." Alec smiled at them.

"Hey." Izzy and Magnus said in unison before the girl hugged her brother.

"All ready to go?" Izzy asked her brother after they broke apart.

"I have something to say before we leave." Alec said, looking from Izzy to Magnus although the gaze on the latter didn't last very long.

"Please don't tell me you're sorry." Izzy said, drawing back from Alec as if he was contagious or something. "I might have to ask Magnus to get you detained in here until you get it straight in that head of yours that it wasn't your fault." Izzy managed to keep her voice from cracking but her eyes were revealing her true feelings. Not less than a minute, she was sniffing.

"No, it's not that." Alec answered, grazing his fingers softly with Izzy's soft and long ones.

"What is it then?" Magnus surprised him with his voice. Apparently, Alec hadn't expected him to speak. Alec looked up almost quickly and Magnus still saw the look Alec had gave him yesterday; guilty.

"I made a deal with mom." He let out softly.

"Uh-oh. I don't like this." Izzy said, glancing playfully at Magnus but he didn't return it. Instead he muttered,

"Me neither." They let Alec took his time to get his words straight and when he did, those weren't the words they wanted to hear.

"She'll let us both stay with Magnus if," he paused, whether for effect or because of his still weak state Magnus didn't care, "we follow her to stay in Australia after our final examinations."

To say Magnus was stunned was an understatement. Is this what he's supposed to get after confessing? To no one surprise, Izzy recovered first from the news.

"And you said yes, didn't you?"

Magnus doesn't need to hear his answer and so did Izzy. She didn't give a chance for Alec to answer her as she spoke again, this time with less care and much more Izzy-like.

"How could you?! You said we could stay here if we want to and why did you even listen to her? Did she threaten you with something?" Izzy as much as scolded her older brother in front of Magnus and he didn't stop her. He had as many rights to be there and listened.

"Come on Alec, say something. This is our life we're talking about. And if you hadn't notice, it involves Magnus as well." said Izzy, taking a glimpse at Magnus who noticed her and nodded slightly.

"I tried to make her let you stay but she won't let you. Not after this stunt I pulled, she said." The words came out half slurred and half forced from Alec. Magnus was about to ask whether he was okay but Izzy had taken control of the situation, in a rather opposite way.

"Why should she care? She never did and now that you almost died she thinks that we belong to her?" Izzy didn't notice the tiny flinch that Alec gave away when she spoke so carelessly of her brother's misact.

"No," She said, shaking her heads and crossing her arms over her chest while looking simultaneously from Alec to Magnus. "No. Tell him, Magnus. Tell him to say no."

But Magnus couldn't speak. He was staring blankly at the boy in front him, the one that he'd confessed to in less than a day only to know that he would be leaving him?

Izzy's voice broke him off his stupor and Magnus could only catch a part of her sentence.

"…a life here. You might have forgotten Alec but I will always remember how father and mother acted like you've never existed. There must be something you're hiding. I know you." She said, almost pleading in Magnus's ears while Alec stayed stoic and expressionless. It was as if he was tired, of life.

"We used to have each other, you know. You can't lie to me even if you want to. What is it? What is it that she said that made you agreed?" All eyes on the only blue-eyed in the room but he didn't utter a word. He'd been silent all the time and it was hard to decipher something from Alec when he was talking, what else not speaking.

"Dammit, Alec." Izzy cussed, furiously glaring at her brother.

"If you're not talking to me, then fine. I'll wait for you at the car, Magnus." She huffed, and left with her heels clicking every step, matching the wearer's frantic bounce of emotions in her heart.

They watched her left and then there was only two in the room. Magnus had never felt that awkward in his life even if he was only with Alec. He threw that feeling away and tried to speak casually,

"So, you're leaving in like what? Less than three months?" He saw Alec nodded curtly and he carried on with his act.

"God, if I knew you were leaving I wouldn't have told you how I feel. That's just embarrassing." Magnus added a small chuckle at the end of his speech but another voice caught up to him.

"Magnus," Alec looked at him before saying, "three months is nothing. Anything could happen today that would change tomorrow so don't feel that way. You don't even know what I think."

"What are you getting at? Seriously Alec, after the way you acted yesterday I don't know what to predict from you anymore." He said, staring back at Alec and never once breaking the serious aura that he was emitting. "So tell me, what is in your head that you're thinking?"

Alec got up slowly, almost graciously if it weren't for his still weak body and stood in front of Magnus. They stayed that way for a few seconds, not letting go of their gazes to each other when all of the sudden, time seemed to stop and everything else froze except for the two.

Magnus felt his breath hitched a beat when Alec drew out his hand, almost too effortlessly and did the same gesture he'd done with his sister; grazing their fingers together but with more care and intimacy, as if that one small action was all it took for them both to know what the other was thinking in their heads and altogether forgetting the rest of the world.

"I think I want to go home now. With you." Alec whispered softly beside him and Magnus understood for the first time, what people had meant when they said their heart swelled at the thought of knowing everything was going to be fine. Without needing any assent, Magnus carefully caught and held the pale hand in his and whispered back,

"I think that's great."

* * *

Izzy was walking towards a black Cadillac when her phone rang. She looked at the screen and when she read Simon's name on it, she immediately answered her phone.

"You still owe me an explanation," was her greeting to him. She heard some noise bustling in the background and asked,

"Where are you? You sound like you're in the middle of something."

"I'm hanging out with Jordan." Simon said, his voice sounding quite far from usual. "We're playing video games right now and he's about to-"

"Simon." Izzy growled. During their early days of meeting each other, Izzy had the courage to hold onto her phone and listened to Simon drawling about video games and comics but now, she'd learned that Simon didn't mind if she cut him off. It's not like everybody gets video games and comics.

"Sorry." He said, realizing the fact that he'd almost bored his girlfriend to death. "Look, why don't we grab something to eat and I can tell you the whole deal?"

"I don't know. I think I might be on a sudden diet right now." Izzy replied, trying to play hard to get and anticipating Simon's method in persuasion.

"Isabelle…" Simon drawled out her name in a tone that made shivers running down Izzy's spine. Rarely had she heard people called her with that name but when Simon said it, she didn't know what to make out of it.

"Hmm…" She kept her poise up although she knew she was defeated with only one word from that scrawny boy, "What about Tony's? I'll meet you in 10."

"I'll see you there." came Simon's eager and quick reply before they both hung up and the line was off.

Izzy changed her path and headed out instead straight to the hospital gates, walking to her new destination which was only a few blocks away and forgetting about the other two people who were coming down from the building, expecting to see her waiting for them.

* * *

If Alec was honest with himself, he would have admitted the fact that his heart dropped a little when he didn't see Izzy leaning on Magnus's Cadillac. That had been the perfect image in his head as he and Magnus walked into the elevator and exited the ground floor.

"Where is she?" Magnus asked to nobody. They both were aware of the fact that there was nowhere else Izzy could possibly be at that moment-they were at a hospital, not a shopping mall. He failed to realize that Alec had let go of his hand and were looking at the hospital gates. The blue-eyed had felt a sort of déjà vu coming to him and he didn't like it one bit.

"Izzy…" He exhaled before running out of the compound and onto the road. His head whipped left and right, back and forth looking for that particular dark-haired before storming to a direction.

"Alec, wait!" Magnus called after him but he was already gone. Following after Alec, Magnus faintly scolded himself for not taking up sports like his aunt had suggested as he saw the other boy was already sprinting despite his weak state. Magnus could hear Alec shouting out Izzy's name and he noticed that the said sister was standing among the crowds, waiting for the light to turn before crossing the road. In the heap of cars and citizens walking, Magnus wasn't surprised to see Izzy not noticing Alec running towards her.

He'd stopped running once he'd detected Izzy but he noticed that Alec didn't cease his pursuit. Magnus watched as Alec reached out to his sister and grabbed her from the crowd, taking in Izzy's expression and knowing that she might have thought that someone was trying to mug her.

"What the hell-"

Izzy was surprised alright, but mostly she felt rage bursting in her at the rude act of grabbing her arms rather harshly and with no consent. But all of that dissipated when she realized that it was actually Alec, looking shocked and scared at the same time. She noticed that he was breathing heavily as if he'd been chased by something and he looked paler than before.

"Alec, what…why are you…how did…did you run after me?" Her words jumbled up in rush as she tried to understand why Alec had followed after her. They both didn't seem to mind because they could hardly hear the other in that crowd of noise.

"You said you would wait…I thought…you were angry and you…left without telling…me." Alec was panting and beads of cold sweat was forming on his forehead, plastering his black locks.

"I'm meeting Simon. I texted you." She answered, sounding sincere and confused all the same.

"My phone's dead." Replied Alec and Izzy noticed that his eyes were glazing and with a start, he pulled her into a hug and wrapped his arms around her neck.

"Alec, what are you…" Izzy trailed off when she saw Magnus at the distance, looking similar to Alec except that he wasn't acting out of order. Their eyes met and Izzy could feel Alec's heart beating wildly in his chest and hers started to follow the rhythm when the realization came hitting, slapping her like harsh winds; cold and unforgiving.

"Oh my god." She said softly, returning back Alec's tight hold around his shoulder and holding him firm, "I'm sorry, Alec. I'm so sorry." People who walked past them stared but Izzy paid them no attention as she embraced her only brother. She held what used to be a healthy teenager but was now a skinny and frail form protectively; repeating the words of apologizes to him.

She didn't mean to scare him, not like that but she knew it from Alec's reaction that she had indeed brought up the worst in her brother's mind; the thought of losing another sibling and that he'd left her just like Max.

She slowly peeled him off her, holding him straight in case he would fall due to the look on his face and she took his hands, walking towards Magnus.

"Let's go." She said.

The closer they came to reach Magnus, the harder it was for Izzy to fight her inner barriers from breaking down. She couldn't let Alec see that she was falling so she held on to herself, knowing that she would survive just like the person that was standing by her side. The one that had been holding on for so long.

Part II: Bringing Back The Love

When Izzy entered through the door of Tony's Diner, it was unusually quiet and almost empty. The only tables occupied were the ones near the clear windows and at the very back of the place. A couple of males in their thirties were seated at the bar, trying and failing at flirting with the blonde bartender.

Izzy recognized Simon instantaneously. He was sitting alone in one of the booths, sipping what looked like caramel smoothies and flicking a plate of onion rings with his fork. Only when Izzy slid in the opposite seat so that she was facing him did he looked up.

"Sorry." Izzy began.

"It's okay. I got your text." Simon said. "You didn't tell me that you were with Magnus when I called you."

"I didn't think I have to." She answered back imperturbably, not meeting Simon's eyes. She didn't feel like letting Simon knew the reason she arrived later than as promised.

A waiter came, bringing a glass of strawberry smoothies and set it down in front of Izzy, giving her a brisk smile before leaving.

"You ordered this for me?" She looked at the boy across her, eyeing him almost disbelievingly. He gave her a nod and Izzy asked,

"How did you know I wanted to drink this?"

"I've seen you ordered only that whenever we come here so I made a guess that's your favourite." He shrugged before continuing, "I asked for more pudding in it like you always did."

No words sounded from Izzy. She almost felt like floating when she remembered that she wasn't alone.

"Thank you." Izzy looked at Simon, trying to chase away the flush that was creeping up her cheeks and the sudden shyness of meeting the brown-haired eyes.

"No biggie." Simon carried on eating his food, letting Izzy enjoy her drink in quietness. He didn't know that girl adored much more than the drink; the view she had sitting across her felt unreal and she was sketching every tiny bits of it into the back of her mind along with other memories when she recalled that in less than ninety days, she would be missing that.

"Simon, I have something to tell you." She started; pushing away her smoothies and creating a clear view of Simon in front her.

"What is it?" He asked but then before Izzy could make up her sentence, he quickly added, "Wait. I should explain what really happened first."

He took a deep breath and sighed.

"Jace told me to lie to you because Clary was with you that day. He didn't want her to know." Izzy looked at him, like seriously looked at him before saying,

"Know about what? You mean Jace asked you to lie to me because he didn't want Clary to know that we were going to a movie?"

"Huh?" Simon stared at her. They were both confused with each other but Simon spoke first, cutting off the perplexity before it thicken and worsen.

"Didn't Alec tell you? Jace's mother had an asthma attack and she was hospitalized overnight. He came to visit her." explained Simon, watching Izzy's face carefully as she took in his words.

"Alec was there? When?"

"Yesterday night. I met him on my way out and he looked sick to me. Is something wrong with him?" Simon asked, noting the curiosity in his tone rather than sounding concern. But Izzy didn't respond. She was putting the pieces together in her head when she remembered that Alec had collapsed at the hospital.

"Nope." She spoke, after a while, still looking a little bit dazzled and numbed, "Nothing's wrong." She lied. Izzy and Magnus had promised each other that no one else was to know about that weekend accident.

Simon might have caught something on her face because he leaned forward- despite the barrier between them which was the table, Izzy felt like he was intruding her personal space- when he reached out and picked something out on her hair.

"You've got something there." He said, before moving back and Izzy didn't realize that she was holding her breath until she exhaled.

"You could have let me get it by myself." Izzy uttered, "no one was watching." She was feeling rather bewildered with Simon's action but she didn't know how to act so instead, Simon got that in return.

"I wasn't-"Simon didn't get to finish whatever he was going to encounter back.

"Never mind." She flung her hair over her shoulder and spoke again.

"So, what about Thursday night?"

* * *

Jace pressed the bell and waited on the Frays' doorsteps, memorizing back the words that he had practiced over and over for Clary. A woman in mid-thirties opened the door and Jace was raid with the similitude.

Jocelyn Fray had been the one to get the door and was smiling at Jace, although there was a tint of disapproval in her face that Jace could only wondered why it was there.

She had her red locks-long and curly like Clary- tuck into a bun and she was wearing what Jace assumed her attire for painting. There were smudges of paints on her face that lacked in freckles when her daughter's sweet attraction was that particular trait. She made Clary looked like a mini version of her due to her daughter's small frame. The identical pair of emerald looked down at Jace and he instantly remembered the reason he'd rang the bell.

"Hello. You must be Clary's mother. I'm Jace." He reached out his hand and thankfully, Jocelyn grabbed it back.

"I know. You're the only one so far with blonde hair. Come in. She's in her room. I'll call her for you." Jocelyn spoke; her voice held nothing similar to her expression as she let Jace in and shut the door behind them.

"Wait here." She said, before walking away to what Jace assumed the kitchen that connected other rooms in the house. Clary's house was nice, Jace thought as he looked around the small but cosy living room-eyeing every piece on the wall when his eyes caught something.

Pushed against the wall facing the windows were a piano. The cover was down and it looked like it hadn't been played for some times. Jace instinctively sauntered towards it, forgetting that he was in someone else's home and brought his fingers over the brown-black lid, lightly touching it.

"Do you play?" A voice broke his trance and Jace brought up his head to see Jocelyn standing at the archway of the living room.

"Long time ago." He answered, looking back at the piano and pulling his hand to his side.

"Why did you stop?" Jocelyn asked which made Jace smirked a little bit but Jocelyn didn't see it.

"I didn't say I did." He looked up at Jocelyn, holding her gaze when she gave her a tiny nod as an answer to their unspoken conversation. Jace pulled out the chair and settled himself comfortably before drawing up the cover and revealing white and black shiny bars of the piano. He stretched his fingers, bringing back reminiscences of his childhood and he began. Ever so softly, his fingers glided onto one bar after the other, bringing out sounds that dance along with his fingers. The notes fit each other perfectly as he played one of his favourite pieces after so long.

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder but he didn't stop, he carried on until he couldn't remember what the next note was and left it unfinished. When he looked up, he saw Clary standing next to him and the spot where Jocelyn was standing minutes ago was then empty.

"You never told me you knew how to play an instrument before." Clary spoke. She looked like she always did in Jace's eyes; soft but strong.

"It was long time ago. I stopped playing when I was thirteen." Jace said, closing the piano and turning his body so that he was facing Clary.

"Why?" asked her. He brought his hand through his hair before scooting to the side a little bit, patting the space beside him as an indication for Clary to sit. She did.

"We had one at home but father sold it before he left. I guess that's where he got the money to start anew." He didn't sound sad or mad to Clary's surprise. She guessed that maybe he'd long got over it just like she did.

"I'm sorry." She spoke, taking Jace's hands in her small ones.

"That's fine. I wasn't that good anyway." replied Jace, giving a slight squeeze to Clary's palm.

"No, you're good. You're really good." She said, nodding her head almost forcefully as if to make her point, "And I wasn't saying sorry for that. I mean I am sorry to hear about that but what I'm truly sorry about is that I got mad at you."

"You're mad at me?" Jace asked; his brow furrowed a little bit.

"I was after we spoke but then I realized I shouldn't have done that. Not when you're worried about your mother. I'm so sorry, Jace." She said softly, bringing her head down and avoiding Jace's eyes.

Warm fingers took hold of her chin and brought her face up and before Clary could even registered it, a kiss was felt on her cheekbone, sending impulse to her brain that made her paralyzed for a moment.

"What was that for?" She asked, absentmindedly reaching up to her cheek and touching it lightly.

"I'm the one who owes you an apology. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry." Jace cupped her face in his hands and she put hers over his.

"I will be worried Jace, but that's nothing. As long as I can be there for you, nothing means much more." She smiled at the end of her sentence and Jace returned it. He let go of her face and said,

"Your mom said I'm the only one so far with blonde hair. How many boys exactly have you dated?"

Clary could feel her blood rushing upwards to her face. "She said that?" Jace nodded. Clary felt like laughing but she held it in and spoke,

"She's only ever seen me with Simon or Alec. None of them I've ever dated." She answered sincerely. She remembered how she used to tell Izzy that one day, she would be Alec's girlfriend. She finally laughed at that.

"Will you play some more for me?" She asked, glancing at the piano once she had calmed down from her fit.

"Your mother wouldn't mind?" Jace inquired, worried that the sound would disturb Jocelyn with her work.

"No. She'll love it. She used to send me for classes so that I can play it for her but I wasn't interested. This might be the right time to get on her good side." She said, giving Jace a teasing look.

"Oh trust me, Clary. I've won her heart the moment I walked into your lawn." Their hysteric laughter rang clearly in the living room before it was replaced by the melodious soft noise of the piano, translating every notes of Yiruma's River Flows In You.

"This is for you." Jace whispered to the girl sitting next to him, her eyes watching him played and when she turned to look at him, their lips connected softly and Clary mentally noted that the song was slowing down as well but Jace was still playing.

When they broke apart, he smiled at her, the kind of smile that made her felt blissful and broken at the same time as she listened and listened-never taking her eyes off the blonde boy whom she admittedly loved.

* * *

Magnus listened and waited; his feet tapping on the floor in a varying tempo as he let his patience got the better of him. He was in the living room, sitting on his couch and restraining himself from going to the bathroom, doing what Alec had asked from him.

He could still hear the other male in the bathroom-Alec had been in there for 15 minutes since they arrived after dropping Izzy off at her meeting place with Simon and the moment he could get the front door opened, Alec bolted straight inside and disappeared behind the door telling Magnus that,

"Don't check on me." He'd noticed Alec turning pale every second on their way to the apartment and he had been sweating giving Magnus the impression that he was very sick.

Another wave of retching and heaving sounded and Magnus got up on his feet. He walked soundlessly to the bathroom and grabbed the knob-despite Alec's warning, he didn't lock the door which gave Magnus access as he pushed it opened to reveal Alec kneeling over the toilet bowl.

"You need help?" Magnus's voice somewhat broke Alec's focus on the tile in front him and his head whirled around.

"Magnus-"And he was on it again. Magnus knew that Alec didn't want people to see him in that state- so sick and vulnerable- but Magnus didn't care. He walked towards the form on the floor and kneeled behind him. Magnus carefully brought his hand up and rubbed Alec's back to sooth whatever it was that was tormenting the boy.

They carried on like that for a while until Magnus realized that Alec was actually heaving air.

"Are you still sick?"

"I feel like I might." Alec's weak answer brought a question in Magnus's head.

"When was the last time you've eaten something?"

Alec stopped for a while-the nausea came and went alternatively-and his eyebrow creased, trying to recall. "I don't remember. I think it's just the meds." He said, grabbing the toilet tightly that his knuckles sapped in colour.

"Are you sure? Should we go back to the hospital?" Magnus asked; his own eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"No. I'll be out in a few minutes. Why don't you-"Alec didn't finish. He heaved some more and when he stopped for a while Magnus took him by his arms and pulled him up so that they were standing.

"You should lie down, Alec." He took in Alec's face and he felt himself torn apart. He didn't know what to do as he held onto the boy beside him, leaning Alec more towards him and tilting Alec's head so that it rested on his shoulder. When he tried to move him, Alec felt limp to his touch and the guy suddenly tensed as he curled his arms over his stomach defensively, his face twisted into a grimace.

"…hurts…" Alec hissed out and without delay, Magnus had Alec cradled in his arms- one hand behind his back and the other under the crook of his knees.

"Better?" He asked; looking down at the boy in his arms and saw him holding back what may had appeared to be a blush. Alec gave a weak nod which he felt on his chest as they were clasped against each other.

"I can't even count how many times I've held you like this. And the year hasn't even ended yet." Magnus joked, feeling a small vibration coming from Alec as well as they walked out from the bathroom and towards Magnus's room.

"My room's over there…" Alec softly said; his voice hoarse and rough after the long torture of vomiting nothing.

"I know." Magnus spoke indifferently as he smoothly opened the door to his room with expert-having done it with Alec's so frequently- and closed the door behind them before sauntering to his bed and laying Alec down.

"Do you need anything?" Magnus looked at him.

Alec simple shook his head and scooted aside, frowning slightly due to the movement and look up at Magnus. "Come here." He tapped the space beside him and Magnus complied.

They lean on the headboard, their bodies closely next to each other and their long legs outstretched in front them. Peaceful and content accompanied them on Magnus's bed.

"Lie on me." Magnus whispered and Alec let his head fell onto Magnus's shoulder. They sat there quietly and treasuring that moment until Magnus took Alec's hand and entwined their fingers together, making it much more valuable than it already was. They fit perfectly together like that- Magnus's soft yet firm hold on Alec's weak and delicate ones, over layered with the callousness on his fingers after years of holding the fencing weapon.

"Magnus?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you still mad at me?"

"That depends." Magnus brushed his thumb on Alec's hand and felt his own heartbeat faltered on that action. "Do you mind telling me what actually happened?"

The weight on his shoulder was gone and he kept his quiet. He waited for Alec to say his words and took a calming breath for his own. But nothing seemed to calm that moment.

"Will you promise me that this will stay as a secret between us?" Alec turned his face so that he was looking at Magnus and he saw a nod made its way known as an answer. "I will."

Alec sighed slowly, thinking where he should begin so that Magnus could understand the whole story.

"Coach had been supplying me with the meds since Max's death. He said it was to keep me alert and agile. When I first took it, it wasn't that good. You remember the time I kept waking up in the middle of the night and I told you I couldn't sleep?" Magnus nodded again.

"I took one that day. It was Max's birthday." Alec said in a low tone.

"I thought that was what bothering you that day. You seemed distracted most of the time." Magnus spoke, in the same low voice and they heard the clock beeped. It was twelve in the afternoon.

"I wanted to believe that as well." Alec let his head fell back on the previous spot and he felt how Magnus's shoulder moved as he breathed. He continued,

"I started taking it every time I felt like losing control. It was easier that way than running. I was there but not really there." Alec let out a chuckle that sounded crestfallen to Magnus's ears but he let the other boy spoke, thinking that he might not get the chance in the future, when Alec would no longer be there.

"I met coach on Friday and we talked. He told me something about Jace that none of us know." He stopped, thinking what to say next but the words were already forming on his tongue.

"Jace was an ex-juvenile. He got into some accident a few years back and coach told me that it was my fault for letting Jace on the team. If people had known about it, our team wouldn't be able to make it through." Alec uttered, gripping his free hand into the sheets, making it crumpled beneath his touch. He couldn't tell the truth to Magnus. He just couldn't. Not when he was denying it himself.

"I ran back here and the only thing I knew was taking the whole bottle and then I realized what I've done." Nothing came out from Magnus's mouth as he turned and locked eyes with a pair of blue ones.

"You knew you were wrong and you sent yourself to the hospital? Smart boy." was his respond. His free hand reached out and playfully ruffled Alec's hair, making them look out of place but still maintained that certain charm on Alec's look. When his hand moved away, he saw Alec looking up to him and he smiled, before lying back on him.

"Alec, I know you're leaving and if I could, I would ask you not to go." Magnus spoke. He was looking into a distant in front him and from the side, Alec could make out all the angles from him; cheekbones as sharp as needles, nose as proud as lions and lips as charming as roses. The only thing missing was that particular smile that always seemed to remind Alec that he too, had a heart.

"Then why didn't you?" asked him. Magnus stared at him, with all the things that you could put into when you say that someone was falling although they didn't know where they would land or how hard the fall would get. Magnus stared at him that way.

"Because I know it would be better if you go. I know there is something that's still holding you back here but you have to be free. You can't keep caging up whenever you break and all I ask of you Alexander is to let me make this three months worth the past two years. Will you let me?"

Alec didn't hesitate.

_'Just this once, Max…I'll love just this once…"_

"You're already doing it." Alec answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. Phew...
> 
> This chapter is longer (the longest I've written so far) but there weren't really any conflict in it. But don't worry. Monday is arriving and they will face each other after a long weekend.
> 
> Do look forward to it! :)
> 
> Until next time...


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 18! Wow, how time flies. Well, carry on and leave me your thoughts! :)

Chapter 18

Part I: Another Mountain To Overcome

Usually, when Jace woke up in the morning for school, the familiar sound of his alarm clock beeping that he'd gotten used to since earlier September that year would be the one clearly ringing, yet annoyingly in his ears. However that Monday, it wasn't the already-poor-smacked-on-tone alarm clock. It was his phone.

Jace peep a golden eye opened and squinted, his sight getting used to the sudden intrusion of lights on his retina. His hand lazily reached out to the table beside his bed and searched for the gadget. He brought it to his face which was still partly buried in his pillow and read a message. It was from Alec.

_My books with you. Don't leave it at home. See you in class._

It took Jace awhile to grasp the text due to his still fuzzy mind but then he remembered that he had borrowed a few of Alec's notes and brought them back for the weekend. To his dismay, not even a single alphabet was copied or read. He didn't even get to take them out of his bag since the weekend had indeed been hectic.

Jace put his phone away and only then did he remember that he was sort of mad at the dark-haired. What else could he reasoned with himself when he didn't know what went wrong? Jace had felt rather stumped at first when he found out that Alec had come to the hospital to visit his mother but he didn't understand why after tons of phone calls and loads of messages, Alec left without seeing him. And he never called back, not until this morning.

He felt out of place all of a sudden. Was he supposed to act like nothing happened in front of Alec or is he playing with him? Oh god, that's just confusing for Jace. He cleared his mind-as best he could- and got up to get ready for school that day. He made up his bed (no one can make Jace to not be a neat freak) and get cleaned up, mentally reminding himself that maybe just once, he didn't have to reply anything to Alec. He just wanted to hear what he had to say face-to-face.

After he put on the school uniform, he grabbed his bag and gave one final glance on his desk, his gaze searching for anything that was left behind when his eyes found the frame of a particular envelope. It was still on the table, lying there waiting for the content to be revealed when he'd took it from the floor-he'd dropped it that day after hearing the loud crash- and simply placed it back on his desk. He didn't know why but he felt revolted towards that plain piece of document.

His hand moved faster and in a blink, Jace was already walking out of his room and closing the door behind him, the brown envelope now laid among the trash in the bin.

* * *

Among many cars in the traffic on Monday morning-occupied by three teenagers was a black Cadillac. Two of the said teenagers sitting in the front seat-a girl and a boy- was arguing with the other boy (the one sitting at the backseat) since they had stepped out from their residence.

"You just got out from the hospital! Like yesterday!" Izzy's voice echoed in the small space but Magnus wasn't complaining, he was nodding almost too vigorously and glancing at the mirror to get a good look at Alec.

"You're still pale and your fever hasn't even gone away." Magnus added which fuelled up Izzy's determination in making Alec to skip school that day even more. The girl sitting next to him was, by all means in the same condition and posture she was yesterday morning-her upper body turned flexibly so that she was facing her brother and entangling the seatbelt.

"You told me your temperature was back to normal. You lied!" Izzy exclaimed. Alec was sitting quietly at the back; his hand was pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to ease down the headache that weren't there before that morning.

"Izzy, could you please keep it down? We're in the same car if you hadn't noticed." Alec spoke, sounding tired and mildly irritated.

"You shouldn't be in this car, Alec. I don't get why you're so eager on going to school." Izzy huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"People will notice I'm absent." Alec answered.

"So what? It's not like you've never skipped school before." Izzy tried again although she knew pretty well her reasoning would be easily dismissed.

"That was for fencing." Alec said indifferently.

Izzy opened her mouth to say some more but Magnus cut her off.

"Save it, Izzy. We're almost there anyway." His hands were still busy controlling the wheel as he got the car safely into his regular parking space. Won't be mine next year, he thought.

As he pulled out his key, he glanced to the side only to find the seat already empty and he saw Izzy storming away from the car. He got out as well and waited for Alec to shut the door before locking the car.

"Someone's angry with you." Magnus smirked, walking beside Alec towards the locker hall. The other guy shrugged.

"The school would definitely ask for a letter if I told them I was sick. And I will need to go to the hospital and Catarina won't lie for me. You know that." Alec explained.

"I know." Magnus nodded. "You address DR. Loss by her name?"

Alec sniffed. He still had that feverish look on him and Magnus couldn't help but wonder if Alec would mind him being wrapped by Magnus's arms like they had done yesterday afternoon, only this time they weren't alone.

"I've known her for years." He watched as Alec fumbled with his locker key and he opened his own, placing his bag on the bottom shelf and taking out a few books. When he closed the locker, he turned side way and quirked his eyebrow at Alec.

"You're only taking that for class?" He pointed at Alec's hands which were holding only his notepad and a blue pen.

"Oh, yeah." He smiled at Magnus, not the kind of smile he'd been faking for the last two years. It was a real smile, the one that said  _no more hiding_  on his face. Magnus smiled back at him although he waited for Alec's answer.

"I gave Jace my notes so that he could borrow them and return it to me today."

"Speaking of Jace," Magnus started, his voice tuning down into a whisper, "will you be fine being around him?"

Magnus had that look in his eyes that made Alec wanting no more than to tell the truth to him.

"Yeah." Alec answered quickly. "Why won't I?" He said, attempting to look fine and Magnus saw right through it but he didn't say anything. He was glad actually, knowing that Alec finally let someone walked through the walls around him and he hoped that those walls stay crumbled.

"Good." Magnus straightened up, his heads whipped left and right back and forth, turning around and looking for something, or maybe someone. Alec looked as well. At their spot around the lockers, there weren't many other students lingering around the area like they did and some of them were too busy with their books or phones to notice others.

Out of the blue, Magnus leaned in towards Alec, a motion that made him looked like he was whispering something to the other guy and Alec didn't pulled away but he was stunned with Magnus's next move. Slowly but surely-a soft peck was felt at the side of Alec's temple and he was too shocked on his feet to even realized that Magnus was already leaning back on his locker door.

"Magnus!" He hissed; his hand absentmindedly flew to his head at the spot where Magnus had unnervingly claimed his. The other guy was grinning at him, almost too effortlessly and when Alec looked around, he was glad to see that no one was staring or looking at their direction.

"That's for not listening to me when I said you should stay at home for today." Magnus said, sounding triumph and pleased with himself with the successful ambush. "Call me or text me…whatever, I don't care. Just let me know if you're feeling sick again and I'll have you drag out from here in no time."

Magnus was starting to walk away but when he turned his head around to glance at Alec, his jaw almost dropped when he saw Alec still standing frozen at his spot in front of his locker, his hand still pressed on the side of his temple.

"Alec…" Magnus voice was filled with warning, "you're gonna be late if you don't start walking now." He said, making a shooing motion with his hand towards the other guy. That seemed to snap Alec out of his reverie and he too began to walk away. They were heading the opposite directions and Magnus was counting each step for him to return to the locker just so he could drown into those lively blue eyes again.

* * *

Jace was almost reaching his class for the second period that day-Algebra, when he felt someone grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. He didn't know why-it wasn't like he'd never had his arms around Alec's shoulders or poking him just to annoy the guy; he'd even carried Alec all the way to Magnus's apartment and never once minding the contact.

But that day, as he looked at Alec's fingers clasped on his shoulder, the only thing that was in his mind was how much he felt like shrugging it off him.

"Hey. Did you bring my notes?" Alec looked different in Jace's eyes. Sure, he was still pale, a lot paler actually and if you look closer you could see those tiny rings of dark shadows under his eyes looking so violet-like bruises. What caught his attention was how Alec seemed to relax more with his own self; it was like someone had brought a hammer and crushed the outer shell of Alec Lightwood, pulling out the other him beneath it.

Jace quickly brought his hands up and shoved the books he'd been carrying back to their owner. Alec took it, still looking cheery when he caught on something.

"Are you alright? You seemed pretty quiet this morning." Alec studied his face discretely. "Did something happen?" He asked, sounding cautious and concern in one question.

"Nothing much, actually." Jace began. "Aside from my mom getting hospitalized and you leaving without me knowing you were even there to visit her." He said in a rather cold tone.

"Jace…" Alec was speechless. All the lies he'd created as substitute for the excuses he'd prepared just for the blonde seemed all of a sudden unorganised. Alec was aware of the fact that even if he had lied, Jace would be able to get his way cleared and Alec would have no choice but to tell him the truth. He'd knew that since the first time he'd let slipped his mask in front of Jace and from that time onward, he was as honest as a faerie.

"If I search your phone right now, we both know what we would find." Jace said. Alec felt his hands shook and sweats were forming on his palm as he clutched harder on his books. Of course he would know; non-stop missed calls from the same person since Friday evening and continuous texts that almost screamed desperation but was hung loosely on faith that never returned.

The words died on Alec's cracked lips before he'd even utter them.

"Now who's the one that is silent?" Jace muttered under his breath, loud enough for both of them to hear and left Alec standing alone outside the classroom as he walked in with the teacher only a few steps behind him. Time passed and Alec didn't realize it.

He heard it somewhere, too far for him to comprehend but knew it was there-the bell had rung and the teacher had called after him to get into the class so that they could start the lesson. But Alec wasn't listening. He seemed out of it for a moment as he stood there.

Alec wanted nothing more than to just brush off Jace's words and their effects on him but he couldn't fight the tiny part in his heart that wanted so badly to scream to Jace of what he'd done two years ago. He wanted it so that the other guy would stop feeling victimised for even just a second and let him felt the pain. But atop all of that, his heart knew that he couldn't bring himself to hurt Jace that way.

"Mr. Lightwood, if you would please take your seat right this instant." The teacher's voice seemed to echo in Alec's head and the next thing he knew, he was walking away and he didn't realize it but he started running. Someone shouted his name, the teacher perhaps but he didn't look back. He ran to a direction thinking about the only person that could help him escaped his own torment.

"Excuse me but I really need to see Magnus." Alec announced once he'd arrived at the door of Magnus's class. The teacher, a young lady in her early twenties wearing a spectacle with a round-shaped frame outlining the glass looked up at him and he suddenly felt old. The teacher was definitely smaller than he was but she had a face that engraved youth too perfectly for her. Put her in a uniform and people would think that she studies in that school, not teaching, Alec mused to himself.

"What is this about?" She spoke sternly and Alec's visual of her as a student shattered along the appearance of her strict-filled tone.

"I need him to send me home because I'm not feeling well." Alec knew that some of the students were definitely giving him suspicious looks, some even smiled a little and the others started whispering but he cared not. He stared at the female educator, trying with his whole concentration to try and win her approval by keeping his face expressionless.

"Very well. Mr. Bane, if you don't mind I would like you to escort Mr. Lightwood here to the nurse room to have him checked. Only if the nurse allows you to leave then you may." Her second statement was directed to Alec without needing him to look at her.

"Thank you." Alec's voice came out hoarse on his gratitude and he saw the teacher nodded, thinking that maybe she hadn't been wrong to ask Magnus to leave the lesson.

"You're sick?" Magnus asked when he came out from the class and closed the door behind him. He didn't look concern or worried like Alec had expected him to-maybe because there weren't any sign of sickness on Alec's face but he nodded anyway.

"Of this place. Take me out of here." Magnus's eyes widened a fraction.

"Are you sure? Is this even Alexander Lightwood I'm talking to?" He joked, sounding half surprised and amused.

"I'm sure." Alec replied. Magnus wasted no time. He grabbed Alec by his wrist and led him out there, not bothering to see the school nurse for permission. What's life without a little bit of risk, huh?

Part II: Obsucre Thoughts And Crushed Hearts

Clary had her hands tucked inside the pocket of her school blazer as she walked to the cafeteria with Izzy by her side. It wasn't cold, but the remnants of winter were still melding in her bones. She straightaway spotted Simon sitting with Jace at the centre of the cafeteria-the table that Alec and his sister had claimed ever since their names got around the school. Obviously, Alec's was for his grades and talent while Izzy's was more towards her look and personalities.

"Hello boys." Clary greeted them, winking speedily at Jace whom to Clary surprise, didn't react to it. He had that look on his face-the one people always have on Monday and for no reason blaming that day to be blue. Clary doesn't really get that part because she never had experience the blues that people kept on rattling about. It's just simply Monday to her.

"Have you seen Magnus and Alec?" Izzy asked, looking from Simon to Jace and noticed belatedly the blasé look on Jace's expression.

"Jace told me that Alec ran off from class on second period. I bet his with Magnus." Simon answered Izzy, who quickly retorted back,

"And what makes you say that?" She didn't mean to sound snappish but she knew she did when she saw the slight dilation in Simon's brown eyes. Angel, how she could notice even the little things on that boy who looked innocent all the time was beyond her understanding. She shot him a guilty look which she hoped he'd saw before taking out her phone and walking away from the table, dialling out her brother's number.

Clary meanwhile was still thinking about Simon's words.

"Alec never skipped class before. He'd only done it if there were competitions coming up and that was always on his coach's order." Clary thought out loud, as if hinting for one of the boys to tell her something that they might have missed out on telling her.

She looked at Jace and still, the blonde haired was looking down on the table and he didn't seem interested in the conversation.

"I think he just wasn't feeling well, that's all." Simon answered instead, trying to dispose the uncommon feeling that came hazing around them.

"But still…" Clary protested, "Didn't he tell you what it was about?"

Jace realized that Clary was directing her question to him and reluctantly, he looked at her.

"No, he didn't." He said curtly.

"Well, I thought I saw something wrong with him that day in the hospital." Simon said to no one as he was unwrapping his sandwiches and looking impatiently at it. He must be hungry, Clary thought before his words sunk in her head.

"Alec was at the hospital?" Her voice sounded startled, before looking back at Jace, "You didn't tell me he came. You said that you called him but he didn't answer."

"He didn't." Jace replied, trying not to sound mad at Clary because clearly she hadn't done anything wrong. He was just angry. But he wasn't sure to whom was that rage directed to. Or did he? "I didn't even know he was there until Simon told me the next morning. I didn't see him. He left."

When Jace stopped talking, the atmosphere around the table was somewhat declining as Simon and Clary stayed silent and didn't say a word to Jace. Clary could only stared back at him, inspecting him closely as her eyes narrowed and she pondered, why had he sound so distant when he'd said Alec left, when everybody on that table knew exactly why he'd called for him?

Clary saw Simon glancing at her from the corner of her eyes and knew he was thinking of the same thing. They quietly ate their food in the almost horrifying aura and were grateful when Izzy made her reappearance a couple of minutes later.

"I just called Magnus. Alec's not feeling very well and he's taking him home." She said before sitting down.

"Is something wrong with him?" To Clary's surprise, it was Jace who had spoken.

"No." Izzy answered hastily. "Nothing's wrong. You know, it's just- he's been feeling…he's not used to-his body is still trying to adapt to his new routine, with all that fencing gone now." She wasn't looking and meeting any of their gazes and had her head down but then, in an instant as if she had just remembered something, her head whipped up and her eyes were hugely looking at Simon.

"Simon, wanna help me with something later?"

"What?" Simon eyed her, clueless to her inquire.

"Meet me at the hall after school. I'll wait you there." She simply said and Simon nodded once. Clary was amused, if one could put it that way on how Simon easily agreed on whatever Izzy said, hardly thinking twice and always acted like everything was fine. It was actually, if she wasn't looking towards a blonde's direction and knowing that something was still bothering her boyfriend. They had talked at Clary's house, sweetly spending time together on the couch in the living room knowing that her mom would definitely forbidden them both from going up to her room. The only friend that she didn't seemed to mind was Alec and that was because of Izzy.

Jace told her about the whole thing that happened on Friday but she knew he didn't share everything. One of the proofs was when he hadn't told her about Alec which just added up to her notion that there was something going on between those two boys. She promised herself that whatever it was, she would talk things out with Jace. It worked miracles by talking-she thought; it helps to make things easier even if it doesn't solve anything.

Her only wish was that Jace wouldn't keep hiding things from her. She'd experienced them before with Alec and she could understand why whenever there was something wrong with him, Magnus or Izzy (usually both of them) would flip out. She loved Alec like her brother but she doesn't want Jace to be the same. It's not easy loving someone when we know they won't let us in. That's not love, that's just vain hope.

* * *

Magnus handed his phone to Alec who took it quietly and held it in his hand. He'd just ended Izzy's call and Alec didn't comment anything about it. They had been turning around the city, with Magnus on the wheel and Alec in the seat next to the driver.

"She told me to tell you that she said rest well and I told you so." Alec turned his head and looked at Magnus. He hadn't spoken since they got into the car and exited the school. He looked like he'd just ran out from prison and Magnus could only understand why.

"She said that?" Alec asked. Magnus shrugged at him, his eyes still on the road.

"Sort of. I don't think you want to hear the actual things she said."

"Oh…" was his response. When they stopped at a traffic light, Magnus pulled at the handbrake and glance sideway at Alec.

"So tell me, do you have any place you wanna go or am I your rescuer for this occasional escapade that you just made?"

"I don't know," Alec said, straightening up in his seat, "I think I might have called for the wrong knight."

"And why is that?" Magnus released the handbrake and pressed the pedal when the traffic turned green. "What could possibly be wrong about this particular knight when he's so right, so handsome and tall and-"

"Full of himself." Alec intercepted, hiding a grin from Magnus.

"Full of self-confidence." Magnus quickly said.

"Magnus, you're drowning me with your overflowing…"

"Compassion in defining oneself?" Magnus suggested while raising an eyebrow making him looked attractive from a certain angle-Alec's angle.

"Exaggeration. That's what I wanted to say. You're pushing it." Alec replied, trying hard not to look at Magnus's expression.

"You don't think I'm handsome and tall?" Magnus asked.

"You mean as a friend or as a random guy on the street?" Alec asked back at him.

"I mean as someone special."

"That won't matter. Not with me."

Magnus gasped softly. "Now you just make me insecure. And I never feel insecure about myself."

"Never is a strong word," Alec said before adding, "along with handsome and tall."

Magnus smirked at him. "You did it again. You just made me feel insecure. Keep it up and I might reward you some more with my precious kiss all over your face. Or some other places as well."

That made Alec choked on his next word. He was so prepared for Magnus's responds that he had to bite his lips to prevent himself from letting slip anything.

"Now you're mute." Magnus stated.

Alec let out a sigh, not a calm one or a tired one, just a sigh.

"Where are we going?" He asked, looking around the road and only then noticing that they had been going around the city for a while.

"To get some fresh air before we go to the market to get some food. I'm making you lunch. And our fridge is empty." Magnus said.

"Your fridge. That's your house, Magnus." Alec replied.

"I thought we were sharing. You're leaving in May, not tomorrow." Magnus mumbled, a hint of dejection in his tone that made Alec pressed his lips together before saying,

"I know. Sorry."

"No." Magnus clasped the wheel harder, showing his knuckles turning white. "That's not what I meant."

Alec didn't know why but he felt like he had to look away and so he did. He looked out the window, watching other cars and trees and citizens yet feeling like there were only two in that space.

"That's not what I meant too." He softly said.

They spent the next few minutes in silent until Magnus pulled over near a bridge and they walked out, enjoying the breeze of fresh air like Magnus had planned. Alec kept on walking, side by side with Magnus and more than a few times, their hands brushed but neither flinched away. It felt almost too familiar. Alec wanted to ask whether it was okay for them to be spotted in their uniform at that time but he didn't. He had a feeling that Magnus wanted him to feel better, not from his fever but from the storm inside him and he thought, maybe finally he had found something better than the drug.

After their brief walk Magnus drove over to a small market and they (mostly Magnus) grabbed everything that he saw could fit into his refrigerator. When they got to Magnus's apartment front door, Alec felt a tiny pounding in his head making him lightheaded for a moment but he managed to hide it from Magnus.

He placed the paper bags filled with the things they had just bought on the counter and heard Magnus said,

"I want you out of this kitchen for the next hour until I call for you. That's an order."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Alec asked.

"You're sick, remember. Lie on the couch or in your bed or just find something to do. Now go." Magnus practically shoved him out from the kitchen and left him standing in the living room. It was pointless to argue with Magnus when he was already giving command.

Alec followed his instruction nonetheless and let himself fell limp on the couch. He lied down and rested his left forearm on his forehead, faintly listening to Magnus making noises in the kitchen. The headache that had assaulted him since they arrived didn't seem to leave in any time soon so he closed his eyes, giving himself into the oblivion state called sleep.

* * *

Softly, Magnus played with Alec's hair and brushed them off his pale forehead. The dark-haired had been sleeping for a few hours but Magnus didn't have the heart to wake him up. He knew Alec was still feeling under the weather even if he'd denied it. He cringed inwardly when he saw Alec's eyes began to move, probably under his caress and he pulled his hand away. But he knew it was too late as he witnessed the blue orbs made their presence to the world.

"Morning sleeping beauty." Magnus said in a low tone as Alec stretched slightly on the bed before looking at him.

"What time is it?" He asked; his voice hoarse from sleeping.

"Almost 2." Magnus answered.

"I slept that long?" Alec sounded fully awake then. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked tired, Alec." The blue-eyed looked around him then, noticing that he was in a different space and on a different spot he'd fallen asleep at.

"How did I get on my bed?" He asked, totally lost with the fact.

"You walked." Magnus answered, as if it made the whole sense in the universe.

"I did?" Alec looked bewildered and Magnus could only laugh at his reaction.

"No. I carried you." He replied honestly. Alec blinked a few times before saying,

"You didn't have to."

Magnus leaned forward then from where he was leaning, not to make another ambush for that day but to give in to his urge to pluck out a small hair from Alec's face. The other guy however flinched momentarily before bracing himself for whatever it was. Magnus carved a smile at that.

"Yeah, and you'll end up having bad shoulders day and neck cramp for the rest of the evening." He brushed away the dirt from his fingers and leaned back. He didn't know whether it was his imagination but Magnus thought he saw Alec looking relieved and disappointed at the same time when he retreated.

"Have you taken your lunch?" Alec looked at him questioningly.

"Nope."

"Did you even finish cooking at all?" Alec's narrowed eyes looking only at him made Magnus felt a little more exceptional than he already was. Keep looking at me like that, Alexander-was his heart's desire.

"Don't insult me. You've already done that this morning and I haven't got my chance on you." And again, with that said came the same respond from Alec. Magnus watched as he bit his lips almost too tantalizingly and he had to look to his side for a while to calm his too-fast beating heart.

"Are you hungry?" Magnus asked him once he'd gotten control of himself, for now.

"Not really." Alec spoke as if he was feeling half sorry and half nausea.

"Why don't we sleep some more?" Magnus proposed. "Izzy texted me. She's going out with Simon after school so I don't have to pick her up."

"What about the food?" Clearly, Alec was still thinking of his efforts in preparing lunch. Magnus liked that quality in him, if he didn't used it too often on somebody else-even somebody he didn't really know. It made him too susceptible.

"I'll heat them up for dinner." He changed the topic then, "How's your fever?"

"Better, I guess." He saw Alec leaned further into the mattress and gave him space. After he'd gotten comfortable, Magnus fixed his own position by Alec's side and when he was just about to put his arm around Alec, he stopped.

"Did you take your meds today?" He looked at Alec, who was lying sideway and was already looking drowsy.

"I took them all that day, Magnus. There's no more left, don't worry." His words were slurred but Magnus could understand them just the same.

"Not that drug. You're prescriptions from DR. Loss, did you take them?"

"I think so." His eyes were half-lidded and Magnus knew Alec was about to fall asleep again. He let him, feeling himself a little worn out from the cooking and doing chores around the apartment. He was about to doze off as well when he felt Alec turned around and they were facing each other but Alec's eyes were closed tight, showing that he was too far away to hear Magnus's words before he too surrendered to unconsciousness.

"You make me love you more each day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it...Another lovie dovie chapter from our dear Malec. I hope it wasn't too much for whoever's reading. I know nothing much of the conflict had been brought up yet but I thought I should give you a little gift before you know, the windstorm comes. Don't worry, that's in the next chapter, I promise.
> 
> Until then, leave your reviews for me! :)


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 19 people! One more to go and we'll be sending off For This Life to rest, maybe for now. *wink
> 
> Have a nice day reading and leave your thoughts for me, love them like cookies! :)

Chapter 19

Part I: Here Arrives The Windstorm

It had been a week. It had been a week since Izzy found out that she would be transferring to Melbourne by the end of that year semester. It had been a week since she last saw her brother looking gleeful and freed from everything he was and it had been approximately seven days since she had wanted to tell Simon about her moving away.

But she never got the chance to. Whenever the words rose to her throat, she felt like it was being pushed down at every sight of Simon and it couldn't get any more perceptible than it already was staying in her mind. Simon noticed them most of the times when she seemed too far away from everything around her and she stuttered on simple words like thanks or see you. He hadn't spoken anything about it yet but Izzy knew when the time comes, she would have to be prepared for it.

Presently, they (all six of them) were sitting at their table in the cafeteria. Simon who was sitting directly opposite Izzy was fixated on his food in front him although if you squinted your eyes, you could see that the brown-haired was staring back and forth at his girlfriend, watching her like she had put on extra make-up or redo her hair that day but she didn't. Everyone would've noticed.

Aside from the two, the other four occupants of that table was holding a book each and seemed to be very into it if you didn't glance under the table. Clary, with her short legs was trying to nudge Jace's shin with the purpose of getting his attention away from his book.

"Ow." Without any intention, she had hit Magnus instead but he didn't seem to realize that it was her doing. His exclamation had been too soft for the others to hear and she was relieved. She saw Magnus eyeing the boy sitting next to her and she stole a glance at Alec. If he was aware of the stares that he got from a red-haired and an Asian, tall-looking guy, he wasn't giving any of it away as he stuck his nose deeper into the book in front him. Unlike others, Alec was definitely paying his fullest attention to his revision. That was until he felt a soft kick on his calf.

His eyes slowly darted upward from the spot in front him and even though his hair was falling into his vision, he could clearly see the smirk coming from the guy across him. Magnus was snickering but no one was alert. At that moment, Alec reached out his long leg and kicked Magnus's.

He watched as Magnus's eyes widened in shock and a grin made its way to Alec's lips, only visible for a moment before he felt another kick hit him and his legs instantaneously shot out, kicking both to his front and to his side. He wasn't surprised that he had hit Magnus with his leg but he was more than stunned as he turned his head to look at Clary, who had her mouth gaping at him, unable to comprehend what had just occurred directly on her knee.

Before they knew it, a war started under the table, relaying between Clary, Magnus and Alec. The others were too lost in their minds to pay attention to them although Simon did wondered why the table had started to shook on one side.

"Ow!" This time, the exclamation was loud. All six of them had their heads up and looking at the owner of the voice. Izzy and Simon were staring with perplexed while Clary and Alec seemed to have frozen in their chair. The only one grinning was Magnus as he looked at all of them and let out a chuckle.

"You guys kicked me." Jace said, still in the same hurt tone and was looking rather annoyed at his friends, or more particularly, one of his friends.

"Sorry." Clary and Alec said in unison. They looked at each other and that made Magnus laughed even more. Alec couldn't help but smile, just a tiny one at Magnus when Clary half giggled, thinking how childish they must've looked like.

"You guys were playing under the table?" Simon piped up, breaking their fit of laughter from going out of hand. "And I didn't get to join?" He asked, looking so sad that Magnus had to hold back another wave of titter from rising up his throat.

"You weren't invited Simon." Izzy answered him, looking dejectedly at her books before gathering them together and standing up, taking all her stuff with her and stormed out from the cafeteria.

"What did you do, Simon?" Clary shot him a look that made him put up his hands.

"I didn't do anything." He said, bewildered. "She's been like that the whole week. She seems…off."

Simon looked down on the table and Clary saw something in his brown eyes; he looked lost to her. She gathered her books as well and stood up, looking at Simon with motivation before saying,

"Let's go after her and talk." She saw the slight hesitation in Simon's features so she nudged her head, a gesture that signed hurry which he accepted. Simon got up as well and was already retreating from the cafeteria, not waiting for Clary. She shook her head as she watched him go and looked back at the table.

"Magnus." She looked at him and he looked back at her. "Come on."

"Where to?" He asked, looking surprised at her invitation.

"Simon's not gonna make it if he's alone." She said.

"Then why drag me along?" She sighed exasperatedly at his answer. Surely anyone could've noticed that for the past week, a certain blonde and a dark-haired weren't talking to each other. They weren't even looking at each other.

"Because," she drawled out, and then stopped at her own words. She didn't really have any solid reason to drag him out of there just so Jace and Alec could work things out between them. She groaned and walked around the table before grabbing Magnus away from the chair.

Despite her small frame and her fragile look, when it comes to insisting Clary would be the champion. Magnus could only give in to her as she pulled him away from our two protagonists.

"So," Alec said, when everybody else seemed to have disappeared into thin air and there was only him and Jace at the table, "are you still mad at me?"

"Why should I be mad at you?" Jace quickly said, and for the first time in seven days, he looked up and sees Alec, really seeing him when he had been at his best avoiding the dark-haired all the time the previous week.

"You've been avoiding me, Jace." Alec had closed his books and was playing with his fingers under the table, pushing back with all his might the sick feeling in his stomach so that he could look at Jace without remembering the past.

"Oh really? I didn't realize that." uttered Jace under his breath.

"I'm sorry." Alec softly said. He was still looking down on his hands so he didn't see the shock making its way to Jace's hardened expression. "I know you called for me but something else came up that day and I wasn't in the condition to meet you. I honestly felt wrong leaving you like that. I didn't mean to do it. I would ask for a second chance but I don't want you to go through that ever again. I'm just…sorry."

For seven days, Jace had been counting on the time when Alec would finally explain himself, but it wasn't like this. He wasn't expecting Alec to say he was sorry and he didn't want it. It felt wrong coming from Alec's mouth. Jace felt like the apology should have come from him instead. But why? None of them had done any wrong.

"I'm not mad at you." Jace spoke and Alec finally look at him. There were some things that Jace couldn't point out in Alec's face that wasn't there the last time he had seen him that close.

No dark rings under his eyes and his complexion seemed more alive even though originally, Alec was pale to begin with. His hair looked shinier and his eyes, there was something in his eyes. It didn't glow broken any longer, just…scarred.

"I thought I was but actually, I was mad with myself." He saw Alec gulped, making it looked like that one small action had taken all of his strength and Jace pursed his lips together. According to Clary, Izzy had told her that Alec was still recovering from a shock but she wouldn't tell her what it was and Jace had to come up with a hypothesis.

"What happened to you last week?" Jace now spoke with a more warm tone in his voice and his facial expression softened when he saw Alec relaxed slightly under his gaze.

"I wasn't feeling well." Alec told him, rubbing his fingers together that made Jace winced at the action. He could build fire if he rubbed them harder, he thought.

"Stop doing that." He said rather hard, stunned when he saw Alec jumped at his words.

"Sorry." Alec said, once again. That only made Jace shook his head at his own action.

"Stop saying that too." He saw Alec nodded and he groaned loudly, enough to attract some of the other students' attention around their table. "Alec, talk to me."

"So you're not mad?"

Jace frowned at him. "I thought I've answered that. No, I'm not mad at you Alec."

"Okay." Alec smiled. Until that moment, Jace finally realized what was different with Alec. It was small, thinly visible unless you've looked into those eyes for almost a year and every time you tried drowning yourself in them, you realized that there was no space to submerge over the cold hard walls around them. But then, as Jace lost himself in the depths of blue, he saw different shades of them-green and pink and yellow and white-if blue could hold those kinds of shades.

"Okay? So we're cool now?" Jace asked, cutting himself from his thoughts.

Only when he had begun to think that those shades was getting more colour in them, he saw the line outside Alec's eyes making their appearance and the glow of azures were somewhat fading.

"Always." He uttered lowly to Jace, diverting his gaze away from the blonde. Jace kept his silent as he watched the guy sitting across him did the same, although in his mute he seemed to be fighting with something, something that Jace could only guessed if he'd still kept the one thing he'd threw away in his rage.

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" Magnus glanced at the girl next to him-determination and hopeful written all over her small face as she strolled with short steps yet fast pace, trying to match the guy's stride next her.

"Away from those two." She simply said.

"Why?"

She sharply turned and looked at him, her head craning up to stare him in the eyes as she was visibly shorter and Magnus was, well, taller.

"Haven't you noticed they hadn't talk with each other since last week?" asked her. They were standing at the path walk that connected the cafeteria from the main hall of the school. Roofs were built along the steps to protect students from rain and over-glazing sun.

Magnus plainly nodded at her.

"And do you know why?" She asked him again. He gave her a lazy gaze to indicate that he didn't know what was wrong and the fact was; he really didn't. All he knew was the story that Alec gave him as reasons.

"God, why does Alec keep doing this?" She groaned to herself as she rubbed her arm, looking unsure and angry at the same time. Magnus had never seen Clary getting angry before so he couldn't blame the slight amusement creeping up his mouth as he look at her.

"Doing what?" He said when he saw Clary, undoubtedly having an internal war with herself whether to speak out the things she had in her mind out loud to him.

"Jace's mom had an asthma attack Friday evening last week," she began, staring at him and noticing the confusion settled in his eyes as he said,

"So?"

"He called Alec but he didn't answer his phone. Jace sent him a few texts. From what Simon told me, Jace was changing his clothes in the washroom when Alec came. He met Simon in the hall and went up to the room but he didn't meet Jace. He left without him knowing." Clary explained.

Magnus blinked a few times. "Alec went to the hospital to see Jace?"

Clary nodded. "Izzy didn't know about it too. I guess Alec really won't tell anybody if it wasn't for Simon."

Magnus had stopped paying attention to what Clary was saying. His mind was picking up pieces he didn't even realize was there and the way they assembled held nothing beautiful in them. It all spoke one word, lies.

"They hadn't got the chance to explain themselves clearly. That's why I dragged you along." Clary said, not registering the faraway look ascending on Magnus's face. "Can you imagine how Jace must've felt when he knew about it?" She asked, not looking at him and shaking her head, a gesture made for her own. She looked up and she heard Magnus said, almost too soft to be heard but she read his lips just the same,

"I don't think I need to."

Part II: Painful Confessions

Simon followed Izzy as she walked past the main building and took the stairs two at a time, boundless of her usual heels she wore outside the school hours. He realized that she was heading to the school garden which was at the rooftop when she carried on climbing the stairs.

"Izzy." He called after her but she didn't turn around.

"Izzy." He called her again when they finally reached the garden and still, she stood with her back facing him and her arms hugging her body, shielding what was cold that actually radiated from her inner self.

"Isabelle." Simon exhaled when he'd stopped walking. He saw her glance to her side, looking relieved and annoyed at his appearance.

"Leave me alone." She coldly said.

"Not going to happen." He took a few steps and stood next to her, looking out from the most top height around the school and gazed the city through his still-shadowed eyes. They stood in line, shoulders almost touching and hands at each other's side, wanting to hold the other but didn't have the courage to.

"Talk to me." Simon said; his eyes looking down to his feet and his hair fell into his eyes. Izzy had stayed rigid beside him, unmoving and the only motion was her chest falling and rising, her breath hitching every few intake of air as she struggled for words.

"I'm moving away."

Simon's head raised a little, only a little. "From Magnus's place?"

"From New York."

He glanced to their hands, frozen next to the other and his fingers twitched, fighting the urge to grab those smooth and slim fingers and wrapped them around his owns.

"Oh…when?"

She looked at him then and he raised his head completely. Without her heels, Isabelle was only a few inches shorter than him but that didn't make her look any less Isabelle. She was always the Lightwood girl in Simon's eyes and maybe, even in his heart.

"In May. After our final exam." She said softly, as if her voice would break if she tried to cut through the winds that blew between them.

"Alec's coming with you?" She nodded.

"Our mom is taking us to Aussie." She finally admitted.

"And that's what that had been bothering you, isn't it?" He didn't need her answer. He knew it all along-not the fact that she was moving away but the reality that they wouldn't stay with each other forever.

"I'm sorry." Izzy whispered.

"You don't have to be." He whispered back, smiling. They stood there, staring at each other until Izzy broke the silence. She couldn't take the mute any longer.

"Simon, say something."

He kept on looking at her, his eyes travelling from the shape of her eyebrows, the black in her eyes, the curve of her nose and her cupid bow, the defined cheekbones and lastly, her perfectly outlined lips.

"I should have done this a lot sooner if I knew you were going to dump me." He said; his breath coming out in puffs and the sun was shining on them like spotlight.

"Done what?" Izzy asked, confusion with a hint of comprehension dawning in her eyes.

"This." Simon pulled her closer to him and without any hesitation, he kissed her lips. He smiled into the kiss when he felt her kissing him back.

* * *

Alec waited patiently as he watched each one of his friends drove off or walked away from the school. He'd received a text from a private number saying that the person wanted to meet with him at a café near the school. The initials, CH gave away the person's identity and Alec let the anxiety crawled up his body.

He'd texted Magnus, telling him he was going somewhere and that he would be back before six. When the coast was clear, Alec walked calmly to his destination. He'd recognized Jace's mother the moment he stepped inside the café, the smell of caffeine assaulted him like sweet dreams.

"Alec, it's so nice to see you again." Cecily said when she finally recognized Alec walking towards her.

"It's nice to see you too." Alec politely spoke as he took his seat opposite the elder woman. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." She said before waving to a waitress and asking for a menu.

"Just coffee. Black, no sugar." Alec spoke to the waitress who gave him a warm smile before leaving him with Cecily at the table.

"Thank you for seeing me. I thought you would have declined my offer." said Cecily, picking up her own drink-a caramel latte with thick foam- and brought it to her lips, taking small sips.

Alec didn't have to say anything to respond to that as the waitress returned with his order, settling it down in front him and again, smiling warmly at him.

"It seems that the workers here are very friendly." He surprised himself by saying that and Cecily looked amused.

"Only that waitress." She said, taking another sip. "And it seems like she has an attention for you."

"It's the uniform." Alec replied, not intending to sound cocky or anything. Cecily laughed. They sat there, enjoying their drinks before Alec had the courage to ask,

"Why did you want to see me?"

"Jace had been acting differently these few days." She began, "and I could only think of you who would know why."

"Did you try Simon?" Alec asked with no conviction in his speech.

"I did." Cecily answered to Alec's surprise. "That's why I came to you. Jace didn't know you were at the hospital."

"I wasn't planning on staying too long." He said, looking to his side and avoiding Cecily's gaze. "Don't worry. We talk things clear before we left school."

"I won't be seeing him until tonight. He went out with Clary."

Alec chuckled. "He told me." Cecily smiled and they drank their filled-caffeine drinks.

"I'm moving away to Australia." Alec didn't know where that came from. He wasn't planning on telling Jace about it yet. Maybe he wouldn't.

"When?" Cecily asked him.

"Before summer break." He said calmly.

"Does Jace know?"

He shook his head. "No."

"And you won't tell him." It was a statement, not a question but he nodded nonetheless. Alec could only look at her in the eyes and hope that she understood his unsaid reasons.

* * *

Magnus was watching a TV programme-he wasn't really paying attention to it-when he heard the door opened and Alec came in. He gave Magnus a smile and Magnus simply looked back to the screen. He knew Alec was giving him a worried look behind his back, not needing to turn around and glance at the other dark-haired as he pretended to be entranced by the show.

"Hey." Alec said as he closed their distance and sat next to Magnus. Magnus simply hummed and nodded curtly, his eyes still glued to the screen when he picked the remote control from the table and off the TV. He looked sideway and tilted his head, unsure of how he should start the attack on the boy next him. The boy that he'd started to care only to know that maybe, he didn't care about him the way Magnus did.

"Where did you go?" Magnus asked; his voice calm and controlled.

"I went to the public library to return some books." Alec answered him; a slight staggering in his eyes gave away the confident act he was putting on. Magnus sighed slowly.

"Okay. Now, where did you  _really_  go?" He asked, looking straight into the blue eyes and noticed them widened a little. Alec remained silent as they fought through their inner battles separately.

After a few moments, Magnus got up and turned his back to Alec.

"I know you're lying, Alec." He said. "You've always been."

"Magnus, what are you saying?" Alec's voice trembled as he tried to speak louder only to hear them cracked at the end of the sentence. Magnus didn't seem to hear it.

"Clary told me what was a _ctually_ going on with you and Jace. You lied to me about that."

If Alec could see Magnus's face, his heart would've throbbed painfully in his chest as the usually happy and untroubled expression creased with unseeing hurt in his heart.

"I tried to make you feel safe around me, Alec but instead you treat me like I'm a stranger giving you a place to sleep for the past two years. You came to me and I asked for you to stay." Magnus was looking out the window, the gleam of sunset barely noticeable as the night sky soared and stars began to make their appearances known to the world. He didn't know if he could bear to look at Alec, afraid that he would break before letting out what was in his chest.

"You hurt yourself and I didn't know. I was happy all the time, thinking that you were fine with me and you kept hurting yourself. Why do you do that, Alec? Do you have any idea how small I felt whenever I remembered you lying on the hospital bed, so sick and not knowing you have been that way ever since you got here?" Magnus stopped. He felt his breath faltered and he sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself before turning to look at Alec.

He was still sitting on the couch, hands by his side looking lifeless and Magnus thought that they had always appeared that way. He broke even more with that thought.

"I thought last week had been the most valuable moments in my life. I've never felt so happy knowing that you were. I guess I was wrong. I cared too much to notice that." He said, resignation unbearably pronounced in his words. He ran his fingers through his hair, suddenly feeling so tired and weary. He'd been thinking that all this while, he had finally break Alexander Lightwood's walls down when he became aware of something; they never did. Alec had merely built a door around it and left it opened for ignorant preys just like him. Especially built for him.

"I just want to know one thing." Magnus said, locking his eyes with Alec's.

"Why? Why did you take those drugs that day?" Magnus had suspected Alec to answer him almost instantly so he was greatly stunned when he saw Alec hesitated on his question.

"Still thinking up lies? Has it gotten easier for you since it's me you're dealing with?"

Alec swallowed visibly and Magnus knew he was pushing the right button. Well, more like hitting.

"Tell me, Alec. Stop lying and look at me." Magnus spoke, his voice rising with each word he uttered. "Tell me why you took those drugs the day I found you on my kitchen floor!"

"It was Jace!" Alec shouted; his voice rough to his own ears but underneath that was a fractured soul that was only beginning to heal when a second wave, stronger and crueller hit him like storm-merciless and brutal.

"It was Jace." He repeated but with a tone so similar to a whimper as he curled on the couch, bringing his legs up and hugging them around his arms close to his chest.

"It was him in the car two years ago. He was the driver that hit my brother. He killed my brother and I couldn't blame him. I can't…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I feel sad thinking that I only have the last chapter to conclude the story. Nevertheless, let me know what you think so that I could put much more effort into the next chapter and I don't end up drowning myself with sorrow. (dramatically fans myself) :P
> 
> Extra A/N: Check out my new story, Angels & Demons and again, leave me your precious thoughts on it. :)


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here it is, the final chapter of For This Life. I would like to thank everyone who had been reading and following this story regardless from which chapter. You guys are just amazing. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and gave me your thoughts. They worth so much to me and I could only hope that this chapter was as valuable as your words. Thank you. Carry on reading! :)

Chapter 20

Part I: The Destruction Before Healing

"What?" Widened were the yellow-green orbs as the words sank in and the boy, curled over his own body sitting on the couch glared at him.

"I can't blame him... It's Jace, how could I?" Alec had started to sob hurtfully and Magnus seemed to notice that he was staring into a distance. Those blue eyes seemed so far away from him, from everything.

Unconsciously, a tear rolled down Magnus's cheek. He stood frozen at his spot, not knowing what to do as he felt it too-the storm. His head snapped up when he realized that someone was standing at the door.

"Is that true?" Izzy asked out of nowhere. "Was it really Jace?" Unlike Magnus, she seemed unfazed of her own words as she walked over to Alec and sat next him before pulling him out of his own hand-made cocoon.

"Alec, look at me. How long have you known?" She asked sternly, looking into her brother's eyes and taking his hands into hers. Alec made no indication that he was even acknowledging his sister's presence until he took a breath, a shaky one due to his still remaining tears. He shook his head and Magnus couldn't stand watching him that way.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to know. No one was supposed to know." He said softly. Something came rushing, hitting Magnus like a blow and he felt his legs started moving away from the siblings and then he was standing outside his apartment, leaning against the cold wide glass that overlook the city.

He stood there, motionless until he began to skid down the glass; the only sound echoing throughout the top floor of the apartment's building was his own cry-erratic and poignant to ears.

* * *

Izzy had scarcely managed to pull Alec out of his own mind-torture as they both leaned back on the couch with their legs all tangled up between one another. Nothing was spoken between the two- Alec was still fighting with his inner turmoil while Izzy, with her ragged breathing since she too started to cry silently was caressing their still connected hands gently. If only the past could be swipe away as deft as she was easing her brother's soul.

"It's not fair." Alec whispered; roughness patently mixed in his voice.

"What's not fair?" Izzy asked, her voice as small as his was.

"All this. I never wanted anybody to know about it. I never meant for you and Magnus to get hurt. All I want was for both of you to be safe."

"I am safe, Alec. So is Magnus." She took a deep breath and held his hands tighter. "You need to stop thinking about others and start thinking for your own."

"Aren't you mad at me? Or Jace?"

"I'm never mad at you, Alec. Past is past and Jace, you said it yourself that you can't blame him. That is enough reason for me not to hate him as well."

The sound of rain hitting the window glass greeted their ears and Izzy looked over to the door, wondering how Magnus was doing.

"Coach knew." Alec suddenly said. "He knew the person who hit Max and he'd been playing with me all along. I thought he cared." His voice was so small that Izzy thought he would disappear any moment.

"Mom didn't want me to tell you this but," she paused, taking a deep breath before gazing into his eyes, "after you got into the hospital, I told her about those drugs and she tracked that man down. He's in jail now, for a very long time. Mom's just too strong for him." She joked, hoping that Alec would lightened up but instead he grew much more anxious.

"You don't have to worry." She added quickly. "The school doesn't know. Mom made the principal swear that it would be only between them. It's a good thing that the principal has a spot for you." Izzy saw him smiled a little. She let him with his own mind for a second or two before she spoke again.

"Max told me once that when he grew up, he would want to be just like you, Alec. Because all you do is protect us. You never let us got hurt and when we did, you'd be the first one to show up with bandages and stuffs. Your face will always frown even when you're not the one hurting. And that makes me felt no pain at all."

The soft music coming from the raindrops couldn't have made the room felt more melancholic than it already was.

"I didn't protect him that day." Alec said. "I left him there and I didn't get to him in time."

"We're gonna die one day. It was meant to happen." She said, fighting herself to carry on talking and pushing away the knives that was pointed at her throat, ready to strike if she spoke another word. "It could've easily been me in your place that day, Alec. What would you do if it was me who was supposed to walk Max home? How would you feel if you found out that I've been hurting myself ever since he died and you know there's nothing you could do even when you were always next to me all the time?"

"I will blame myself and hate me for the rest of my life." He said.

"Or you could learn to forgive yourself and live a life Max would've wanted you to." She said, turning her head to face him and watched as he closed his eyes tightly before opening them again.

He looked at her. "When did my little sister grew up to be so clever?"

She smiled a little. "Since the moment I realized that I will always have you by my side if I don't start to act wiser."

"I've been greedy, Isabelle. I lost Max and I didn't want to lose Jace. That's why I agreed with mother. I wanted to spend all the time I have with Jace so that when we leave, I won't feel guilty about it."

"What about Magnus? Don't you care for him?"

Another tear rolled down Alec's cheek as his mind played all the images of that one tall guy who had owned his heart since forever.

"I care so much of him that I lie all the time so that I could look into his eyes and I won't see pain in them."

Izzy sighed. "He would still get hurt when he knows you lie."

"I know that." Alec said. "And I always knew that I don't belong with him. I don't deserve him, Izzy. I've hurt him so much that I was afraid to stop. I was afraid that he would see right through me and I won't be able to let him go. I won't forget him, ever and I could always imagine him being happy. Just not with me."

"I saw the way he looks at you." Izzy spoke, pushing her bangs away so that she could see her brother clearer. "I've never seen him like that even when he was with Camille. He smiled at every sight of you and his eyes gets brighter whenever you're in the room. How does that not spell happy, Alec?"

No words came out from him. To be truthful, Alec had never felt so carefree and content all his life when he was always empty and lost. Magnus gave him lights and he took away all that was dark in him, replacing them with his ever so bright glow. But the last time Alec had seen him, standing lonely in front him in no jest to mock but looking defeated in a war he didn't know was going on until it was over.

He must hate me, Alec thought. After all he'd done to keep Magnus just right on the line, Alec had stopped tracing those dots and left Magnus astray. His thoughts were cut short when Izzy got up slowly and he felt the couch dipped before returning to its original.

"I'm going to check on Magnus. He's been standing outside and I don't want him to feel thrown out from his own house." Izzy said, stroking Alec's hair gently before walking to the door and pulling them open. He watched as she disappeared behind the entry and he took another deep sigh.

This was it. It was time to stop avoiding. There's only so much time to make happy memories, Alec thought and it started with an apology. Not to anyone else but to himself. And then it would be Magnus; the one person that had been hurting much more than anyone else around Alec.

Before he could completely straightened himself up from the couch, Izzy came storming through the doors, her face shocked as she spluttered,

"Magnus's gone."

* * *

The rain had started to fall heavier but Magnus could only carry on walking. People gave him a glance before they started to walk away, uncaring to the thoughts of why a teenager would be soaking himself to the rain.

He had simply taken the elevator down without having anything with him-not his phone or his wallet. He didn't care. He just felt like escaping. The daggers in his heart couldn't have shot him any colder than the rain that was falling, heavier and heavier. It eased his mind off from the harsh wave in his chest.

Alec lied to him, he got that part. But did he care? Magnus couldn't figure that out. If he truly did care, than Alec has a serious problem in showing his affection. Magnus laughed coldly at his own thoughts.

Of course he didn't care. Magnus was nobody. He always had been nobody to Alec. In the distant, aside from the blinding blaze of headlights from the cars and the thunders that escorted the rain, he heard the voice.

"Magnus!" Alec was running towards him, wearing a worried look on his face even as he was bathed in the rain as well.

"Alec?" Magnus breathed; confusion and startled clear in his voice as he said the name that had cause him misery and jovial all the same.

"Where do you think you're going?!" Alec asked him. They were standing a few metres away and Alec had to shout on top of the noise around them. He was looking frantic, one of the few expressions Magnus rarely saw on him. He looked human like that, Magnus thought.

"I-I…I don't know." He said, looking at his feet, around him, the sign board, where he was and finally, at Alec. "Why did you look for me? We both know you don't care." The anger was back inside him and he felt like letting them pour all over, mimicking a volcano but the rain somehow dimmed his burning rage.

"No. I do care. I care, Magnus." Alec said almost pleadingly. Magnus laughed, a harsh sound coming from the normally flamboyant character as he looked at the boy in front him like a stranger.

"You don't have to lie to me anymore, Alec. I stopped caring the moment I found out you've been deceiving me."

"No, you don't. You're lying." Alec said.

Magnus let out a scoff. "Of course you would know. You're an expert at that." Alec took a step forward and Magnus willed himself to take a step back.

"Don't." He said, trying to make himself look angry but he knew it was pointless in the rain. "I don't think I can take your lies anymore."

"I'm not lying to you, Magnus. I won't." He saw Alec took another step forward and he was too late to retreat. He felt Alec pressed his own body to him and he embraced him with a hold unlike ever before. Magnus could feel every inch of Alec against him, something he'd never felt even when he'd hugged the boy in the past. He could feel his hair against his cheek, drenched with rain and he could feel strong arms around his neck, warm and inviting and above all of that, he could feel the beating heart against his own, their matching rhythms the most beautiful thing Magnus had ever felt.

"I'm not going to lie to you Magnus so you better get this properly." Alec said, pulling apart a little bit and looked at Magnus almost longingly. "I love you."

Alec leaned in then, all the chains and cuffs holding him back for two years unlocked as he kissed Magnus and stole the most precious memory he could get. He felt all the pain and sorrow being sucked out of him as he forgive himself and he locked his lips closer, firmer with Magnus's.

He felt hands winding around him and Magnus pulled him impossibly closer. This time, the time didn't freeze. Instead, it welcomed the new budding as the two held each other under the rain, taking in every second they started to treasure each other even more than the past. Even if the past did matter, no one can steal that moment from them as it held the future.

Alec pulled away first, his eyes' piercing into Magnus's as he repeat himself again with a smile,

"I love you, Magnus Bane."

"I love you too, Alexander." Magnus said, returning the smile.

Part II: Before We say Farewell

Students-entirely seniors-were roaming around the notice board at the hall, curious to know their performance for their very last examinations in high school. Their results would determine where their future where headed to. As one of the elite school in New York, Institute High would never allow students below the benchmark to graduate until they went through for the repeat.

Among the students that were barely above the line was Jace Herondale. No one was happier to know he would be graduating without delay other than himself. And of course his tutor, Alec.

Currently the boys were seated under a tree, void of the table that had become their regular resident for the past three months as there was no need for books anymore. They were peacefully lying on their back, feeling the freshly-trimmed green grass underneath their school uniform and inhaling the scent that tells so much of Mother Nature.

"I can't believe I'm actually graduating." Jace said, bringing up his left hand into his view and looking like he was inspecting his nails, something that Alec had seen coming from Izzy.

"You better be." Alec replied, grinning. His hands were supporting his head and he had a few grasses stuck in his black hair. "I'm not going through all that endless reasoning with you ever again."

"Come on. It wasn't that bad." The blonde retorted rather smugly. "Consider yourself lucky because you get to spend time with me."

Alec became silent for a while. At Jace's words, he took a moment to let out a sigh and made his smile returned on his face.

"So, where are you planning on going?" Alec asked, turning his head slightly so that he was looking at Jace's side profile.

"I don't know yet." said Jace, sounding honest and sincere. "Maybe I'll fly to Melbourne with you?" A chuckle made its way to Alec's throat. He'd told Jace about Australia, a conclusion he'd came with after hours of spending time in his bed with Magnus by his side, giving him strength unstoppably. But he didn't tell one thing though, he wished to keep it as a secret and Magnus respected that.

"I don't think they'll allow luggage with limbs and head." Alec said which made Jace snorted.

"I guess so." Jace's voice sounded soft, forcing Alec to look at him closer. He'd taken the news well, surprisingly since it was Jace and all he'd said was,

"Poor Simon. At least I'm not dating you."

Alec took it as a joke. Jace had meant it that way and he was grateful for it. He couldn't ask for more. He wouldn't.

"Jace." Alec said. The blonde's head turned to the side, his eyebrows quirked artily.

"What is it? Something on my face?" He asked.

Alec shook his head and looked straight up at the sky. "Never mind."

He'd wanted to ask something before he leave but he didn't know how. It wouldn't make any difference actually when Alec realized that Jace was sorry all the time of what had happened. Maybe he'd learned to forgive the past as well, Alec thought.

"Don't move." Jace said, propping himself up with one elbow before leaning in towards Alec. "You've got dirt in your hair." From afar, the view of a boy bent over another boy would've attracted some attention so Alec wasn't amazed to hear someone clearing his throat and standing in front of them, his tall silhouette shadowing them from the lights almost too suddenly.

"Am I disturbing something?" Magnus asked rather perceptively although Alec could detect a small amount of annoyance in his question. Jace had already retreated from him and was sitting upright, his eyes squinting to look at Magnus.

"Yes you were." Alec said; another grin made its way known at the corner of his mouth. He'd been that way lately Jace noticed-not that he was complaining. It was nice seeing the real Alec, even if for only a while.

"Then I shall leave you and depart on my own then." Magnus said dramatically, bringing his hand up and resting it on his forehead, shielding the hurt that was unseen to them all.

"I'd like to see you try." Alec shot back at him and Jace looked up to see Magnus looking amused.

"Come along then. We'll have to leave now if we don't want Izzy to be in the driver seat by the time we reach the car." He said with what Jace had suspected as a concern. His eyes followed as Magnus reached out a hand and pulled Alec up so that now he was vertical to the ground. His eyes linger for a moment longer at Alec as the taller boy pulled on his uniform and grabbed his bag from where it was resting.

He blinked back to reality when he saw Alec looked at him.

"I'll see you." He said, as if it was a promise and Jace took it as they were.

"I'll see you." He watched as two of the earliest people he'd met that year in Institute High walked away, close to each other and he swore he saw Magnus taking Alec's hands in his before they disappeared from his view. A smile graced his face as he lied back down and stared at the sky, wishing that it would always be blue so that he could look at it whenever he misses that somebody in the future.

* * *

It was two in the morning when Alec woke up to the sound of Magnus's apartment door ringing. He carefully got up, not wanting to wake the figure beside him who was still soundlessly asleep. Alec gently peeled off Magnus's hand from his waist and put on his shirt-a typical plain shirt-before walking to the door.

He was somehow feeling a little eeriness inching on him and the hair behind his neck bristled at the sense. He couldn't help but think that maybe he'd just imagined the sound when the ringing stopped but then it was quickly followed with a knock.

Alec opened the door and his jaw slacked, no attempt to hide his astonishment at the sight of the person standing in front him, looking haggard and dishevelled.

"Jace." He was wearing a black jacket over his clean white shirt but it looked crimpled under the small lighting. His hair, normally clear blonde was dirt golden-messy and smeared with ash-looking soot, giving someone the right to assume that he might have just finished running all around the city at that time.

"What are you doing here?" Alec asked, shock still linger around him. When he looked closer, he realized that Jace was crying. His eyes were red and old tear-stained trails were still visible on his face. He looked sad, and in pain.

"Are you hurt?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jace spoke, not answering or even listening to Alec. He was already too deep in his own head.

"Tell you what?" Alec asked him, obviously confused and bewildered at the sudden appearance of Jace early in the morning. "Are you alright? Where were you from? Did you get mug or something?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jace asked again with his voice hoarse, this time he looked a little bit more awake than he was just now. His hands were shaking by his side and Alec noticed that he tried to hide them by fisting his hands tightly.

"Tell you what, Jace?" Alec stared at him. He really couldn't relate to what Jace was trying to tell him since the fact he'd just woke up from his slumber and one's brain doesn't function smoothly at the earlier minutes. "Why don't you come inside-"

"My mom told me." said Jace, his voice low and soft but still clear. He didn't say anything after that; he just looked at Alec while fighting with himself to stop the tears from continuing to roll down his face.

Like soft wind, it collided onto Alec like nothing except for the cold tingling sensation that it left on his skin. His eyes remained seeing, looking at Jace.

"She said," Jace began in the midst of still trying to push away his sorrowful sobs, "that I should know before you leave. Why didn't you tell me? You knew and you didn't tell me. I could've-"

"There's nothing you could have done, Jace." Alec cut him off, his voice kind and loving. No hatred was felt for he had forgiven himself three months ago.

"I would've stayed away from you." Jace replied, trying hard to deny the fact that nothing would've made him stand to stay away from Alec.

"And what would that do?" Alec asked, still in the same tone. He watched as Jace struggled for his words, trying to vent the anger of knowing but realizing there was nothing he could do.

"I-I...I...You...Y-you knew..." He fought for words that was just not meant to be said or heard.

"Come here." Alec uttered, reaching out his hands and taking a step forward when he saw Jace hesitated. But he didn't. Alec pulled him close and held him in his embrace.

"It's alright, Jace." He said, his hand softly patting the back of Jace's head.

"I am so sorry." Jace cried; his head neatly tucked on the crook of Alec's shoulder. "I'm so sorry." His weep travelled through his body, shaking and Alec felt it as he asked for forgiveness that was long given to him.

"It doesn't matter, Jace." Alec said, still soothing his friend and gently caressing his back. "Not anymore."

In the dark, standing below the archway between the living room and the hallway down to the bedrooms stood Magnus, hands crossed over his chest as he witnessed the event in front his entry. He smiled, knowing that tomorrow would be a new day.

Part III: Kiss Me Goodbye

Can you picture this?

It was a sunny day. Exceptionally sunny that day with clouds here and there, diluting the bright rays from the sun as it grace the earth with its heat and comfort. People-citizens all over New York living their lives how it is usually portray in a film or a movie. Tall buildings-skyscrapers, that's what they call them-shot out into the sky, reaching for no ends as there is no limit to dreaming.

In the park they were, sitting with each other's presence close to one another, knowing the fact that tomorrow would not be the same and yet pushing away the thoughts of it for it matters only then.

Jace was sitting next to Clary under a big shady tree, watching as she draws and draws in her sketching book. His eyes followed her hand as her fingers brought out the magic in her.

Simon and Izzy were seated not too far away on a bench, holding each other's hands and saying stupid jokes just to ease the longing between them.

"I won't miss you, you know that right?" Simon said, staring ahead him not looking at the girl next to him.

"I know." Izzy softly said under her breath. "I won't miss you too."

"I'll go to prom next year and you'll have to send me a picture of you with the lucky bastard." Simon spoke and he felt Izzy laughed.

"I'll date other boys and I won't remember you." She said.

"I'll go to sleep and I won't dream about you." Simon said. He squeezed her hands tighter.

"I'll board the plane tomorrow and I won't think you anymore." She replied, squeezing back his hands with her small ones.

"Deal." Simon voiced.

"Deal." Izzy answered.

"Call me when you get there."

"I will."

Those who heard their words could only smile at them.

Magnus meanwhile was standing next to Alec near the railing, feeling the soothing air blowing around them, their hairs disarray and their clothes flipped with the wind. They were the view of their friends and sister as they stood before them, facing the river that spread wide opened in front them, giving no finite end to the visual.

"I will miss you the more I erase you from my heart." Magnus spoke. He stood behind Alec and wrapped his arms around the shorter guy's waist and said,

"Like fate, I won't ever have anyone like you. I will shed more tears than today when I remember that I can't touch you, I can't see you. But if you are happy, if you can smile, I'll keep smiling as well. You've become my heart, Alexander."

The wind blew harder and they stood there, tightening each hold as the time ticked until they'll have to let go.

Alec glanced behind him, gazing at a blonde who was looking back at him with a smile on his face. A smile only friends knew what it held. Something precious.

He looked forward then and spoke his heart to Magnus.

"You will think of me at least once. That's all I need, until the day we meet again." Magnus smiled into Alec's hair.

"Then I'll wait for you. This is only a momentarily goodbye."

Alec turned his head around and captured Magnus's lips for one last time.

Goodbye, he said. My love and my brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna know something?
> 
> This is not the end!
> 
> Look out for the epilogue! :)
> 
> P. S: I know it's the last chapter but some thoughts won't kill. Let me know how you feel about it. :)


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's short but I hope you enjoy reading it. :)

Epilogue : Five Years Later

Magnus POV

"Don't give me that look. You know I won't fall for it." I said, pointing a finger at Chairman Meow. The feline just kept staring back at me.

"As your legitimate owner, I demand you to stop staring at me." I tried again and still, its eyes were straight on me. I let out a groan and Chairman Meow's ears twitches.

"How could I have known that you wanted the low-fat, not the honey-flavoured?" I asked, motioning at the milk powder sitting on the counter, looking much less defeated than I was. It had been three years since Chairman Meow became a permanent member in the apartment and I still hadn't got a clue on his supposedly picky appetite. The only reason he was still here was because I kept forgetting to feed him regularly and he would come back, demanding his meal.

Five years since the apartment felt foreign to me and all around was just not the same anymore. After graduation, I received a letter from the University of Lincoln, giving their much unappreciated congrats in telling me of my accepted application which I never recalled in giving them. Apparently, it had come from my father.

He'd tried, although I dare say not too hard in persuading me to take in the offer which I did, and of course, not with ease. The agreement was based on something called mutual-he and his believe in me wanting to pursue his business in the future and me trying to get rid of the sorrow that had squirmed around me, unattended and left wild.

I got rid of it sometimes and once I was sure it would never return I went back to New York. That took me two years and I've made myself to promise I would never leave this apartment under any circumstances that does not involve crime against fashion, Chairman Meow's life hanging on a loose thread or any emergency call from friends.

Friends. It had been a while since I used the term. The last time I've ever seen any of them was the day we sent the Lightwoods' to the airport and watched as they fly off. Thousands of miles away.

I didn't go for prom. Camille did ask who my date would be and I'd unconsciously said I would need to get myself a passport if I were to bring a partner. But I didn't. I knew he was fine and he would be.

All I heard from Clary was that she was currently furthering her studies in art at Brooklyn College and Jace was in the New York City College of Technology, aiming and striving to be the next famous architect of the century. Their relationship maintained solid, to no one surprise seeing how much they cared for each other throughout the years-not that I was there to witness it but being me, one look and that was all I need to know.

Simon meanwhile had been moving around lately, doing his presumably humanity project that started out early spring this year. One second he could be in Paris and the next, who knows-maybe sitting in Tony's and enjoying one of his favourite smoothies not forgetting to order a strawberry-flavoured one with extra pudding in it just so he could stare at it, thinking about that one girl.

Me, on the other hand had been living with none other than the magnificent white-fluff ball that had been trying and-to my dismay-almost succeeding in ruining my life. The only way to keep him calm was for me not to think of him. Chairman Meow has an issue with being in people's head and thinking that he was somehow burdening them with his ever so precious existent.

On top of that, life had been peaceful what with my father unending financial supplies and Chairman Meow's constant companion but other than that, I couldn't find myself to settling down with anything, not even my studies. I gave my father excuses, saying I needed time which took me five years and yet there was still this empty blank spot that I couldn't figure out what to do with my life.

A loud crashing sound brought me out of my regular stupor and I look at the kitchen to see none other than the devilish-four-paws-with-a-tail-and-a-head looking down on his now broken bowl.

"Great." I flung my hands all over my head just for his entertainment. "Now you'll have nowhere to drink from. And that was a collection, Chairman Meow."

"Mroww."

"No. No more for you." I said, pointing my index finger at him and walking towards the cupboard to grab a broom when the buzzer sounded. I sighed, thinking how the timing was perfect. Chairman Meow had his eyes trained on me and I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You're not gonna get that for me, are you?" He didn't move an inch.

"I thought so." I let go of the broom with a heavy heart and looked at the door. My first thought was that my aunt should really start to learn to appreciate the key I gave her millenniums ago when I heard the door creaked open. I guess she could hear my thoughts. Chairman Meow leapt off from the counter and was tauntingly swinging his legs, strolling to the living room and I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

One of the few odd things that had occurred that morning-aside from my bizarre experience with the wrong brand of milk and Chairman Meow's petty revenge (God, everything in my life had come to one thing and it has four paws) was the sound of a familiar feline purring. Wait, was that Chairman Meow?

I walked quickly to the living room, yearning to see the moment Chairman Meow finally act like a cat and to salute my aunt's talent when something else greeted my view and I was struck numb. It wasn't my aunt. It was someone else. Someone who used to live in the same apartment with me five years ago.

Nothing had changed. Not much other than his hair was trimmed shorter and yet he looked much more composed, his shoulders still the same lanky and I could still see his collarbone gleaming his neckline, unperturbed with the effect they gave off.

Something was hanging from his fingers and I look at my apartment key, a spare one that I had given him since he started living with me. He'd wanted to give it back to me before he left and I told him to keep it in case he came back. In case he came home.

"I didn't know you had a new roommate. I would've called and left a few things behind." Alec's voice was still the same and held nothing ruined in it, just the old melody that I had come to miss absently. Shamelessly I thought; the blank space was then filled with the sight of a pair of blue eyes.

"Chairman Meow thinks he owns me. Not the other way around." I answered, trying hard not to lunge and break through the thousands yearning while staying calm. "I guess he finally found his match."

"Is that so? And he won't mind sharing places with me?"

"Not that he takes too many spaces on his own. You," I said, walking over to him and giving him an endearing look, "my dear sir, are welcomed in my room. I bought a bigger bed for something like this." Something unexpected.

"I guess I've come to the right place after all." Alec smiled and I couldn't resist smiling as well. "It's good to be back, Magnus."

I wrapped him in my arms and nothing felt more complete to me as I told him,

"Welcome home, Alexander."


End file.
